Conquer Club

Long ago, when I would be making out with a lady, I would get a boner, and for whatever reason, I thought she might be upset about that (I don't know why). So when we were finished with kissing, I would have to leave the room "clever" so she wouldnt see it.

What I would do was crawl away on all fours pretending to be a dog. I would even go as far as saying "woof" as I crawled around the corner to fix myself before I went upstairs...

Another friend of mine apparently use to pretend he was a monkey while jumped around until he was clear out of the room.

wtf ..... id rather have let her see the boner then look like a dork ...lol

I never, ever hid my boners. I usually just whipped it out and jerked off to get rid of it. My parents had a hell of a time with controlling me. I remember once I was staring at this pretty girl during church and I got a right hard on! Everbody stood up to receive the body of Christ, and when I stood up, my little soldier was just beggin' to come out. So as I was walking in line, I just opened my zipper and placed my hands over my pecker, and gently and slowly kneaded my doorknob. Nobody really noticed at all, they were all standing in line like zombies, singing and praying. Most of which had their eyes closed anyway, so nobody even really noticed. The only problem was that when I ejaculated, the ejaculate was stuck on my receiving hand for the Body of Christ. The priest placed it right in the palm of my hand. There was a slight squishy sound, I hesitated for a moment and the priest gave me that "I am going to kill you if you don't eat it" look. So I put it in my mouth, and it wasn't all that bad, kind of like a mayo sandwich.

DaGip wrote:I never, ever hid my boners. I usually just whipped it out and jerked off to get rid of it. My parents had a hell of a time with controlling me. I remember once I was staring at this pretty girl during church and I got a right hard on! Everbody stood up to receive the body of Christ, and when I stood up, my little soldier was just beggin' to come out. So as I was walking in line, I just opened my zipper and placed my hands over my pecker, and gently and slowly kneaded my doorknob. Nobody really noticed at all, they were all standing in line like zombies, singing and praying. Most of which had their eyes closed anyway, so nobody even really noticed. The only problem was that when I ejaculated, the ejaculate was stuck on my receiving hand for the Body of Christ. The priest placed it right in the palm of my hand. There was a slight squishy sound, I hesitated for a moment and the priest gave me that "I am going to kill you if you don't eat it" look. So I put it in my mouth, and it wasn't all that bad, kind of like a mayo sandwich.

That has got to be the funnyest thing i ever heard!

DaGip wrote:I never, ever hid my boners. I usually just whipped it out and jerked off to get rid of it. My parents had a hell of a time with controlling me. I remember once I was staring at this pretty girl during church and I got a right hard on! Everbody stood up to receive the body of Christ, and when I stood up, my little soldier was just beggin' to come out. So as I was walking in line, I just opened my zipper and placed my hands over my pecker, and gently and slowly kneaded my doorknob. Nobody really noticed at all, they were all standing in line like zombies, singing and praying. Most of which had their eyes closed anyway, so nobody even really noticed. The only problem was that when I ejaculated, the ejaculate was stuck on my receiving hand for the Body of Christ. The priest placed it right in the palm of my hand. There was a slight squishy sound, I hesitated for a moment and the priest gave me that "I am going to kill you if you don't eat it" look. So I put it in my mouth, and it wasn't all that bad, kind of like a mayo sandwich.

Dagip you have the biggest balls i rate you!

DaGip wrote:I never, ever hid my boners. I usually just whipped it out and jerked off to get rid of it. My parents had a hell of a time with controlling me. I remember once I was staring at this pretty girl during church and I got a right hard on! Everbody stood up to receive the body of Christ, and when I stood up, my little soldier was just beggin' to come out. So as I was walking in line, I just opened my zipper and placed my hands over my pecker, and gently and slowly kneaded my doorknob. Nobody really noticed at all, they were all standing in line like zombies, singing and praying. Most of which had their eyes closed anyway, so nobody even really noticed. The only problem was that when I ejaculated, the ejaculate was stuck on my receiving hand for the Body of Christ. The priest placed it right in the palm of my hand. There was a slight squishy sound, I hesitated for a moment and the priest gave me that "I am going to kill you if you don't eat it" look. So I put it in my mouth, and it wasn't all that bad, kind of like a mayo sandwich.

If it makes you feel better, it turned into the blood of Christ, you freaking vampire.

soka wrote:wtf ..... id rather have let her see the boner then look like a dork ...lol

QFT

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic, for which it stands, one Nation under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all! I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic, for which it stands, one Nation under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all!

Sorry, obscure movie reference to get rid of boners.

My pants would probably explode, so kind of hard to hide :/

wots a boner

In the words of great CC'er, think about baseball.

suggs wrote:wots a boner

Bone that is sticking from your leg in ER.

suggs wrote:wots a boner

well boy in the case of me it's actually my third leg

in my experience, it seems that a woman would be more likely to get offended if i DIDN'T get a boner.

it means she's doing a good job of making out. no shame in that. if she doesn't want you to have a boner at that moment, she can either help you get rid of it, or you two can cool it.

but most women like it when you get a boner.

reminisco wrote:in my experience, it seems that a woman would be more likely to get offended if i DIDN'T get a boner.

it means she's doing a good job of making out. no shame in that. if she doesn't want you to have a boner at that moment, she can either help you get rid of it, or you two can cool it.

but most women like it when you get a boner.

they think it's cuuuuuuuuuuute

brooksieb wrote:

reminisco wrote:in my experience, it seems that a woman would be more likely to get offended if i DIDN'T get a boner.

it means she's doing a good job of making out. no shame in that. if she doesn't want you to have a boner at that moment, she can either help you get rid of it, or you two can cool it.

but most women like it when you get a boner.

they think it's cuuuuuuuuuuute

Especially when you pull your pants down in the girls-lockerroom.

Snorri1234 wrote:

brooksieb wrote:

reminisco wrote:in my experience, it seems that a woman would be more likely to get offended if i DIDN'T get a boner.

it means she's doing a good job of making out. no shame in that. if she doesn't want you to have a boner at that moment, she can either help you get rid of it, or you two can cool it.

but most women like it when you get a boner.

they think it's cuuuuuuuuuuute

Especially when you pull your pants down in the girls-lockerroom.

oh how immature, lets play nervous!

On easter, I would paint my little skin helmet to look like an easter egg and go hide in a pile of leaves.

What a surprise the little girls got after church...what a surprise!

I sold my boner to an old bloke at a recent (well not that recent) garage sale. The poor old fellow's darn dentures fell out while he was begging, so naturally, I couldn't say no. I got $5 for my boner, and even offered him some Poligrip. The man nearly died of excitement; I saw his wife's teets getting quite hard indeed.

Later, I took that $5 and bought myself 5 hamburgers off the dollar menu. Greatest decision I ever made.

And because all that, I now have a detachable penis, as told HERE.


ECX

So that's how you got it, well well, we read and learn.

My sneaky way of hiding a boner is by hanging stuff off it

oh good god..I havent laughed that hard in awhile!

to poorly quote superbad:

you know what i do when i get a boner? i put it up in my waistband, that way no one sees it and it feels real good. i almost came in class the other day

whitestazn88 wrote:to poorly quote superbad:

you know what i do when i get a boner? i put it up in my waistband, that way no one sees it and it feels real good. i almost came in class the other day

even i did that in middle school. nothing revolutionary about that.