Conquer Club

okay, time to get mildly sexist...

one of the requirements i have of a woman, if i'm going to get serious about her long term, is that we can share the same space while working without constantly distracting each other. ("Wow, did you see this article in the Science Times?" -- "No actually, I've been trying to get some work done here, babe. I'm under deadline and I really need to get this shit done." -- "Well what about this article from the BBC?")

i've known a very few couples to manage it -- but they're almost always both professionals and oddly enough, they're always Ivy Leaguers. (but this is only in my own observation, and part of why i'm posing the question)

of course, this is not the most important characteristic in a female, and one that cannot be discovered with ease.

is this just endemic to East Coast USA? or are the vast majority of women all over the world just as ADD and hysterical?

reminisco wrote:okay, time to get mildly sexist...

one of the requirements i have of a woman, if i'm going to get serious about her long term, is that we can share the same space while working without constantly distracting each other. ("Wow, did you see this article in the Science Times?" -- "No actually, I've been trying to get some work done here, babe. I'm under deadline and I really need to get this shit done." -- "Well what about this article from the BBC?")

i've known a very few couples to manage it -- but they're almost always both professionals and oddly enough, they're always Ivy Leaguers. (but this is only in my own observation, and part of why i'm posing the question)

of course, this is not the most important characteristic in a female, and one that cannot be discovered with ease.

is this just endemic to East Coast USA? or are the vast majority of women all over the world just as ADD and hysterical?

My GF and I do it all the time. She is in the middle of some very intensive research for a professor on campus while I am tech writing at home, and we can always just work without disturbing the other. Now, after we're both done working, she'll often have some interesting facts to tell me over dinner or something, but we know to leave each other alone when working.

Anarkistsdream wrote:My GF and I do it all the time. She is in the middle of some very intensive research for a professor on campus while I am tech writing at home, and we can always just work without disturbing the other. Now, after we're both done working, she'll often have some interesting facts to tell me over dinner or something, but we know to leave each other alone when working.

yeah, see, that's the ideal.

the last girl i dated for longer than 6 weeks got upset that i was so regularly getting up early on weekend mornings and going to the library, and insisted that i'd stick around and work either at her place or mine, depending on where we spent the night.

of course, according to her co-dependent hysterical female logic, if i would go to the library to do work where there were other people around, why not just stay with her -- someone i know and who wants me around.

well, no one in the library is trying to tell me about the newly discovered dangers of vitamin K...

with so many of them, its as if they think they're gumball machines of wisdom, and simply have to say everything that comes into their heads.

I can not believe Anarkistsdream has a girlfriend.

well, I can't believe reminisco has, or rather had, a girlfriend.
If this is his attitude towards the fairer sex, I'm surprised his relationships lasted 6 days let alone 6 weeks.
Perhaps your girlfriend at the time was looking for something from you that you, obviously, were incapable of understanding. Learn to read between the lines before simply calling women 'co-dependant, hysterical beings who just say anything that comes into their heads'
A good relationship involves give and take - you need to think about giving a little..
Of course, this could be just an attempt to wind up all the girls on CC.
But just in case it isn't;

grow up you sexist macho schmuck!

autoload wrote:I can not believe Anarkistsdream has a girlfriend.

You fuckin' douchebag...

Miracles do come true...

hey now.

i'm not calling ALL women co-dependents without a brain filter. only MOST of them.

and since i won't go into details a la Dear Abby, it should suffice to say that yes, i understand that relationships require give and take. i've been in enough of them, and one in particular for long enough to get that.

maybe i should have asked the question this way...

how can you tell early on that a woman is one of those gumball machines instead of someone who can actually share a space and respect the need to get work done?

i'd love to hear all about whatever she's been reading, and what she's been up to. but tell me later, when i'm not working and have time to give her my undivided attention.

it's just that the older i get, the less willing i am to stick it out with someone who impedes my ability to make a living. it's a rare woman indeed who gets that, and its probably the woman who is as driven and focused as i am.

I couldn't make a living without my womans.

2dimes wrote:I couldn't make a living without my womans.

Pimping ain't easy.

I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

You wanna cyber?

Anarkistsdream wrote:

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

You wanna cyber?

*takes off pants*

If she keeps interrupting you, then obviously she doesn't think whatever you were doing was important.

AndrewLC wrote:

Anarkistsdream wrote:

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

You wanna cyber?

*takes off pants*

What're pants?

wicked wrote:If she keeps interrupting you, then obviously she doesn't think whatever you were doing was important.

Yep. For realsville, no tricks!

Anarkistsdream wrote:

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

You wanna cyber?

if only u knew nark

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

you must have Duracell batteries.

wicked wrote:If she keeps interrupting you, then obviously she doesn't think whatever you were doing was important.

which only justifies me breaking her heart and dumping her worthless ass.

now if only she would stop fucking texting me.

reminisco wrote:okay, time to get mildly sexist...

one of the requirements i have of a woman, if i'm going to get serious about her long term, is that we can share the same space while working without constantly distracting each other. ("Wow, did you see this article in the Science Times?" -- "No actually, I've been trying to get some work done here, babe. I'm under deadline and I really need to get this shit done." -- "Well what about this article from the BBC?")

i've known a very few couples to manage it -- but they're almost always both professionals and oddly enough, they're always Ivy Leaguers. (but this is only in my own observation, and part of why i'm posing the question)

of course, this is not the most important characteristic in a female, and one that cannot be discovered with ease.

is this just endemic to East Coast USA? or are the vast majority of women all over the world just as ADD and hysterical?

If you reread your post, you might find your answer. Try paragraph 3 ...

If you choose women FIRST for their interests, intelligence and only look at the rest after ... you might actually get a bit further.

That, and mixing work and play rarely helps you succeed at either. Leave work AT work .. and the same for home.

reminisco wrote:one of the requirements i have of a woman, if i'm going to get serious about her long term, is that we can share the same space while working without constantly distracting each other. ("Wow, did you see this article in the Science Times?" -- "No actually, I've been trying to get some work done here, babe. I'm under deadline and I really need to get this shit done." -- "Well what about this article from the BBC?")

Why should such a trivial thing be so important to you?

wicked wrote:If she keeps interrupting you, then obviously she doesn't think whatever you were doing was important.

*Edit* she doesn't think whatever you were doing was as important as she is.

This is a basic respect and self-confidence issue. It is not unique to women, you just notice it because you date women,if you dated men you would observe the exact same pattern.

In fact, you are probably guilty of the exact same behavior towards ex-girlfriends. Anytime someone feels like they are dating a person from a higher league than themselves they tend to get a little attention whorish until the relationship becomes stable enough that they don't need constant positive feedback from their partner.

In short, the observed behavior that is pissing you off has nothing to do with gender. Whats more it is a phase that almost every relationship goes through, so if you like the person, be patient, the behavior is an unconscious compliment that will pass.

Of course, if your partner acts like this for months and months, or keeps falling back into the attention whore behavior, you got yourself some damaged goods and it is time to reevaluate.

reminisco wrote:

wicked wrote:If she keeps interrupting you, then obviously she doesn't think whatever you were doing was important.

which only justifies me breaking her heart and dumping her worthless ass.

now if only she would stop fucking texting me.

"Accidentally" send her a pic of your "new girlfriend" 's pretty [insert body part here] and I bet she would stop texting.

Ok, nevermind, I'm heartless, I'm going to hell. Just say, Look, I dont like you, dont text me!

DAZMCFC wrote:

walelia2 wrote:I am a ADHD kid... Or at least they sa... ooh look, a kitty!

But seriously, I can sit in a corner and amuse myself without bothering someone else for hours.

you must have Duracell batteries.

I'm like the energizer bunny yo!

btownmeggy wrote:

reminisco wrote:one of the requirements i have of a woman, if i'm going to get serious about her long term, is that we can share the same space while working without constantly distracting each other. ("Wow, did you see this article in the Science Times?" -- "No actually, I've been trying to get some work done here, babe. I'm under deadline and I really need to get this shit done." -- "Well what about this article from the BBC?")

Why should such a trivial thing be so important to you?

remember that part in The Shining when Shelley Duvall interrupts Jack, and does so completely innocently? and Jack comes back with: "Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?"

well, that's why it's not trivial. that's the line i think of with worthless interruption. but instead of "bashing her head in with a baseball bat", i'm just gonna leave.

i guess that makes me a dick. but at least i get my submissions in on deadline. i'm more than willing to compromise on a great many things, but not that. so it seems trivial, and in some ways it really is, even though it's not. that whole duality of man thing...