i know you really want to do this but, believe me, you won't be able to do it at least in the near future...
i know how to program (right now as i write this, i'm doing a C++ project for a programming course i'm taking at university) and believe me, when your program finally works its pure satisfaction and you feel like if you were the best programmer in the world, but whilst you're at it, its hard, frustrating, tedious, frustrating, difficult, frustrating and fucking frustrating (did i mention how frustrating it was??)... nothing works and you don't have an idea why, everything looks like it should work but it just doesn't... it can take you hours to find a simple mistake or to realize how to make things work...
i agree with dissolution, you should first try visual basic (you can download a free Express version in microsoft's site) and once you've got the hang of it, try going for PHP.
i've tried php before, i made a much simpler site (a soccer prediction game for the world cup) and it was really fucking hard (really, lack must be a real pro)
and by the way, if you expect lack to teach you, don't be so optimistic. i don't think lack has the time or is willing to teach how to do this to some unknown player of a game he made... you would have to take programming courses or be self-taught...
MIDDLE AMERICA MAP
