Conquer Club

So for part of my history final exam grade, we have a little fun thing that our teacher does every year where we dress up as a historical character and basically talk about ourselves, as the character, without giving away who we are.

I chose Isaac Newton, so I kinda just wanted to get the basics down on him, ya know his laws of motion pretty much. There were some guidelines, like the instructions said to maybe mention types of food you prefer and kinda random stuff. So here's what I wrote:

Greetings and salutations to all at this feast of honour. I feel privileged to be amongst such distinguished people. Though there are some whom I regret being within one hundred meters of, there are most whom I wish to converse about physics, mathematics. And if you are not educated on the subjects, feel free to ask me of anything and I will surely respond wholeheartedly and to the best of my abilities. Now if it’s food you want to discuss, I prefer the apple. Healthy, full of Vitamin C. . . What else can one ask for? I also enjoy brownies, on occasion.

Many of you are probably wondering, “Who the hell is this guy?” Well, to give you a few hints, I discovered the relationship between mass and distance between two objects. This relationship, gravity, is equated as [gravity equation here]. This force is what makes the planets move the way they do, why two things fall at the same rate, why an apple falls from a tree. Other things you may have heard of which I accomplished are the other laws of motion. Inertia, for instance, is the law that states that an object at rest tends to stay at rest and that an object in uniform motion tends to stay in uniform motion unless acted upon by a net external force. And the third law of motion equates force to mass and acceleration, F = ma. It says, simply, that force equals mass times acceleration.

Now I don’t intend on keeping the rest of you from eating your meals, and it looks like there are still some more people to talk, so I’ll conclude my speech by saying enjoy all the food that these fine people have brought to share!


Is this ok?

Help would be much appreciated...

ParadiceCity9 wrote:Help would be much appreciated...

It's of good quality, although it could use more veiled contempt of your peers.

What do you mean by veiled contempt (I have a small vocabulary)

Find yourself an apple tree and have an apple (or jus the tree) fall onto your head.

I already tried that but nothing came to mind

ParadiceCity9 wrote:I already tried that but nothing came to mind

Well, it was worth a shot.

ParadiceCity9 wrote:What do you mean by veiled contempt (I have a small vocabulary)

Like, make it clear that you hate everyone around you, but through the way you say things, not what you actually say.

Newton was also a very (read, fanatically) religious guy. I'm not sure how much you are trying to be obvious and how much true-to-life, but he wrote lots on religion, and I believe at one point said the he regretted that he'd spent so much time on the other stuff.

Also, I think he was one of the many people who said that he could see so much because he stood on the shoulders of giants. You might want to look up who the giants were for him.

And of course if you want to give a really strong hint, wait for somebody to react to what you say, and reply "That's a strange reaction. Here's an equal and opposite one." and then rebut what they've said.

Newton was also a very (read, fanatically) religious guy. I'm not sure how much you are trying to be obvious and how much true-to-life, but he wrote lots on religion, and I believe at one point said the he regretted that he'd spent so much time on the other stuff.

Also, I think he was one of the many people who said that he could see so much because he stood on the shoulders of giants. You might want to look up who the giants were for him.

And of course if you want to give a really strong hint, wait for somebody to react to what you say, and reply "That's a strange reaction. Here's an equal and opposite one." and then rebut what they've said.

...not quite sure why that came up twice...

jonesthecurl wrote:And of course if you want to give a really strong hint, wait for somebody to react to what you say, and reply "That's a strange reaction. Here's an equal and opposite one." and then rebut what they've said.

nice idea.

Newton was very religious and was also not a very nice guy, if I remember. he was a member of parliament and is on record complaining about a cold draught from ahouse of commons window. And he was master of the mint, which is where England's coins are made. he had a load of people hanged for forging money. You should check that though, it's half remembered from my Cambridge tour guide days.

Newton was the first person In Britain to be knighted for scientific achievement (for his masterwork 'Principia'). But, science was just a 'side-line' to this brilliant yet bizarre man.

As Jones and Heavy already said, he was very active in his religious pursuits, but he was also a dedicated alchemist - some papers bought at auction revealed his ardent quest to turn base metals into precious ones and an analysis of a strand of his hair showed levels of mercury at 40 times the normal level.

Not many people will know these facts about him, but mabe you should try and work in something a little quirky, more for discussion after your talk perhaps and also to show you've put a little more into your research.

He would also just sit and stare for hours at a time upon waking as if frozen by the thoughts rushing to his head. If you find yourself lost for words at some point, you could always say you were just getting into character.

Good luck - sounds like you're all set anyway.

heavycola wrote:

jonesthecurl wrote:And of course if you want to give a really strong hint, wait for somebody to react to what you say, and reply "That's a strange reaction. Here's an equal and opposite one." and then rebut what they've said.

nice idea.

Newton was very religious and was also not a very nice guy, if I remember. he was a member of parliament and is on record complaining about a cold draught from ahouse of commons window. And he was master of the mint, which is where England's coins are made. he had a load of people hanged for forging money. You should check that though, it's half remembered from my Cambridge tour guide days.

I had forgotten that one.
I don't know how long he was an MP, but the only thing he ever said was the "can we shut the window" comment.

mandyb wrote:He would also just sit and stare for hours at a time upon waking as if frozen by the thoughts rushing to his head. If you find yourself lost for words at some point, you could always say you were just getting into character.

I love this, too. Just stare straight ahead, and when the teacher asks what you're doing you can round on him/her and shout 'I'm developing a theory of colour, peon. Leave me be!'

Back when we had one-pound notes (looks in vain for pound symbol on US keyboard), Newton was on the back, sitting next to a small triangular prism. We used to say it showed his favourite sweet (Toblerone).