Conquer Club

It came up in a conversation about marriage, she told me how horrible she is with relationships and such. Basically, all she wants now is to not have a kid with her boyfriend.

I brought the idea of visiting an abortion clinic, but she said it's too complicated and asked me if I could falcon punch her.

Of course, this kind of hit me in the face. She's not an idiot or anything, the complete opposite. She also hasn't been on a had sex in months, so the baby must be pretty well developed. I jokingly made a comment about how she would charge me for assault, and she said that I could write a contract that I would have no financial, emotional, spiritual, or physical obligations to her and/or the baby and she would sign it. Would something like that be legally binding? Would it hold up well in court?

It's airtight.

Assuming that the OP is legit, proceeding with her request would be catastrophically ill-advised for many many many reasons, the foremost of which being that said course of action will almost certainly land you in prison.

Except that, you are not a Dr...... and in some states you must even have the parents signed permission. So I believe the actual crime would be called...... MURDER...... so you know... that's something to consider... I just say this on MSNBC... huh...

By the way, the Haru Kick would be 10 times more effective, I believe. Ask Ryu...

i'm pretty sure this would be considered murder, and with that contract, she would go to prison too because it proves she set you up to do it.

Nah, f*ck all of these lily-livered naysayers Rusty.

Sign that contract and you're good to go, ain't no fancy lawyer in the world can touch you, no matter the outcome.

Just remember, swing from the waist, not from the shoulder... and follow through after impact. Gotta make sure that foetus gets mangled good and proper, or you'll just have to go through the whole process again in a weeks time.

Am I a bad person for having been entertained by that?

Dancing Mustard wrote:Nah, f*ck all of these lily-livered naysayers Rusty.

Sign that contract and you're good to go, ain't no fancy lawyer in the world can touch you, no matter the outcome.

Just remember, swing from the waist, not from the shoulder... and follow through after impact. Gotta make sure that foetus gets mangled good and proper, or you'll just have to go through the whole process again in a weeks time.

HapSmo19 wrote:It's airtight.

These people became "Excessories" right? HAP you're a U.S. citizen right???

Incandenza wrote:Am I a bad person for having been entertained by that?

No worse than me.

And Rusty, we want pictures of the result or it didn't happen.

Juan_Bottom wrote:Except that, you are not a Dr...... and in some states you must even have the parents signed permission. So I believe the actual crime would be called...... MURDER...... so you know... that's something to consider... I just say this on MSNBC... huh...

By the way, the Haru Kick would be 10 times more effective, I believe. Ask Ryu...

Only, its not murder, because the baby isn't a person yet. At least according to federal law. Make sure when you do this, you are in a state where is is okay to carry out such idiotic procedures though.

If this is a serious question, the answer is:
if she wants an abortion, tell her to get one.
If not, don't.
Is being thumped (and saying she doesn't mind) for the express purpose of losing the baby morally any different from an abortion?
Don't be silly. You could seriously hurt her.

Juan_Bottom wrote:These people became "Excessories" right? HAP you're a U.S. citizen right???

No no, they become "Accessories". Like all the shit you didn't know you needed that they try to add on to the sale whenever you buy a cell phone at Radio Shack.


"Excessories" are more like Professional Wrestlers (or as they prefer to be called, Ring Prancers). Those guys are pretty excessive.

Just tell her to down a whole bottle of gin & then go and lie in a very hot bath. That should trigger a miscarriage.

I suggest not touching that shit with a 60 foot pole and just directing her to this thread for the less morally inclined to give suggestions on alternatives to, as you so succinctly put it, getting someone to falcon punch her.

I'm surprised that that image hasn't been posted yet....

..... anyway, i'm just guessing, but I think that would be a very bad idea to try.

wcaclimbing wrote:

I'm surprised that that image hasn't been posted yet....

..... anyway, i'm just guessing, but I think that would be a very bad idea to try.

NICE image, I'm glad this thread was created so I could see it.

The1exile wrote:I suggest not touching that shit with a 60 foot pole and just directing her to this thread for the less morally inclined to give suggestions on alternatives to, as you so succinctly put it, getting someone to falcon punch her.

Please leave my cock out of this.

Thank you.

RustyMonkey wrote:It came up in a conversation about marriage, she told me how horrible she is with relationships and such. Basically, all she wants now is to not have a kid with her boyfriend.

I brought the idea of visiting an abortion clinic, but she said it's too complicated and asked me if I could falcon punch her.

Of course, this kind of hit me in the face. She's not an idiot or anything, the complete opposite. She also hasn't been on a had sex in months, so the baby must be pretty well developed. I jokingly made a comment about how she would charge me for assault, and she said that I could write a contract that I would have no financial, emotional, spiritual, or physical obligations to her and/or the baby and she would sign it. Would something like that be legally binding? Would it hold up well in court?

For a lot of reasons, I rather doubt you are serious.

Firstly, even if you were to do this, it is more likely that you would seriously injure, but not kill the fetus and her both.

In either case, she would almost certainly have to go to the hospital, where a police report would likely follow.

In the US, you would likely be convicted of murder or conspiracy to murder , or at a minimum, injury to a fetus. The exact charges are still a bit shakey/variable, but one thing is clear. DA's are most definitely willing to prosecute those who kill late term fetus' for murder.

And, the written contract would probably make it much worse, because it would be undeniable proof of intent and forethought.

So, the short answer is it is most likely a quick way to both wind your girlfriend in the hospital, probably with an injured child AND both of you in jail.

Why not just put the child up for adoption instead? In the US, you can even abandon a child without any questions asked to any fire station, police station OR hospital (just make SURE you give it to a PERSON, do NOT just leave it on the doorstep ... not all of these are manned 24 hours, especially fire halls and police stations in small towns). If the child is uninjured (or definitely not injured post birth), you will NOT face any criminal charges.

friends make friends get abortions

Incandenza wrote:Assuming that the OP is legit, proceeding with her request would be catastrophically ill-advised for many many many reasons, the foremost of which being that said course of action will almost certainly land you in prison.

Not to mention the moral implications of such acts..... OMG- I surely hope this was some sick joke.

Juan_Bottom wrote:Except that, you are not a Dr...... and in some states you must even have the parents signed permission. So I believe the actual crime would be called...... MURDER...... so you know... that's something to consider... I just say this on MSNBC... huh...

By the way, the Haru Kick would be 10 times more effective, I believe. Ask Ryu...

Yeah those Ji-Jitsu skills he has are amazing.

Scott-Land wrote:

Incandenza wrote:Assuming that the OP is legit, proceeding with her request would be catastrophically ill-advised for many many many reasons, the foremost of which being that said course of action will almost certainly land you in prison.

Not to mention the moral implications of such acts..... OMG- I surely hope this was some sick joke.

This IS the guy who tried to seduce his coworker last week and asked us to see if his plan would work...

Scott-Land wrote:

Incandenza wrote:Assuming that the OP is legit, proceeding with her request would be catastrophically ill-advised for many many many reasons, the foremost of which being that said course of action will almost certainly land you in prison.

Not to mention the moral implications of such acts..... OMG- I surely hope this was some sick joke.

We're a sick community.

RustyMonkey wrote:It came up in a conversation about marriage, she told me how horrible she is with relationships and such. Basically, all she wants now is to not have a kid with her boyfriend.

I brought the idea of visiting an abortion clinic, but she said it's too complicated and asked me if I could falcon punch her.

Of course, this kind of hit me in the face. She's not an idiot or anything, the complete opposite. She also hasn't been on a had sex in months, so the baby must be pretty well developed. I jokingly made a comment about how she would charge me for assault, and she said that I could write a contract that I would have no financial, emotional, spiritual, or physical obligations to her and/or the baby and she would sign it. Would something like that be legally binding? Would it hold up well in court?

Someone should have kicked your mother in the gut when she was pregnant.

Same goes for your friend.