Conquer Club

ok how are we supposed to forge a loving relationship and get married and live happily ever after and all that good stuff if we never even see each other?

we need to give this relationship ways to grow but how can we make sweet sweet love and cuddle deep into the night if we arent together?

its hard for me to kiss up and down your neck and gently massage your back over myspace you know!

karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can live without you

why are you always with jake?

peace,

mike

RustyMonkey wrote:why are you always with jake?

This appears to be your problem - cut her loose and look elsewhere.

C.

RustyMonkey wrote:ok how are we supposed to forge a loving relationship and get married and live happily ever after and all that good stuff if we never even see each other?
we need to give this relationship ways to grow but how can we make sweet sweet love and cuddle deep into the night if we arent together?
its hard for me to kiss up and down your neck and gently massage your back over myspace you know!
Karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can live without you
why are you always with jake?

peace,

mike

worst letter ever! you should be ashamed

where's the passion? the obsession? There is no sense that you will die without her ... no inference that if you can't have her no one else can.

You should let her know that you will commit suicide if she is not with you ... cuz that's what every girl wants to hear

I'd go with the fourth one, the other three sound like dead ends.

Some edits below might help you out. Use at your own risk

RustyMonkey wrote:We are not going to forge a loving relationship and get married and live happily ever after and all that good stuff if we never even see each other?

I want this relationship ways to grow. I want to make sweet sweet love to you Karen preferrably, not Jake,and cuddle deep into the night, and if we arent ever together -- its hard for me to kiss up and down your neck and gently massage your back over myspace you know - then what I want is not in the cards!

karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can live without you I may just have to start banging the hot girl next door who came over last night in her red teddy to ask for a cup of sugar. (I'm sure the bulge was just bad lighting.)

why are you always with jake? I have a bigger penis than he does.

peace,

mike

p.s. - I'll settle for a threesome as long as you use the the strap-on with Jake while I [insert gratuitous vulgarity here - it might just turn her on].

Hahahaha... GD re-wrote it for you...

Probably already too late, but I have doubts to the authenticity of this problem anyway.

RustyMonkey wrote:ok how are we supposed to forge a loving relationship and get married and live happily ever after and all that good stuff if we never even see each other?

we need to give this relationship ways to grow but how can we make sweet sweet love and cuddle deep into the night if we arent together?

its hard for me to kiss up and down your neck and gently massage your back over myspace you know!

karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can live without you

why are you always with jake?

peace,

mike

You know "karen" has a penis, right?

TheProwler wrote:

RustyMonkey wrote:ok how are we supposed to forge a loving relationship and get married and live happily ever after and all that good stuff if we never even see each other?

we need to give this relationship ways to grow but how can we make sweet sweet love and cuddle deep into the night if we arent together?

its hard for me to kiss up and down your neck and gently massage your back over myspace you know!

karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can live without you

why are you always with jake?

peace,

mike

You know "karen" has a penis, right?

Yeah, Jake's. Frequently.

This made me cringe more than _____________________ < insert clever joke here

U forgot to threaten her with murder/suicide if she refused to be with u now shell be with jake forever!

thanks guys for all your "amazing" help. i already sent the letter.

i changed the last line to

karen i need your beautiful self next to me right now and dont know how i can possibly live without you or even how ive done it so far

love,

mike

oh mike, poor poor mike.

Cheer yourself up mate, get some vodka, weed and a lesbian porno movie.

It's okay Mike... I'm here for ya buddy, if you ever need some lovin'!

Is this the girl who considers you as a "mental boyfriend"?

Is this the girl who considers you as a "mental boyfriend"?

yes, jake is the physical bf

RustyMonkey wrote:

Is this the girl who considers you as a "mental boyfriend"?

yes, jake is the physical bf

Do you get along with jake? Or is he a rude asshole that smirks at the fact that he's having sex with your girl.

So rusty are you prepared to be the mental husband

I have a mental husband, but not in a good sense!

RustyMonkey wrote:why are you always with jake?

peace,

mike

Maybe because she reads crap like this on the internet, Mikey boy

Has anyone given you this advice yet ......


GROW A PAIR.....?

One question? Why havn't you had sex with her? She never had it with you so she cannot judge your.... potential. The fact that she's says she doesn't want to have it with you(on the circumstances showed above) and does it with someone else says alot.

bump

RustyMonkey wrote:bump

Dude, I'm telling you, try the plan I laid out for you in your thread about paying for them to go on vacation. Just join them by surprise. It's iron clad.

Then, one night when it's dark, just mask your voice and pretend to be Jake in the dark, and she'll totally do it with you (like at the end of Revenge of the Nerds) and then she will dump Jake and be all about you.

And Jake will be screwed, cause you can just cancel his return ticket, and he'll be stranded. So you should really pick an island destination, for their vacation.

heavenly29 wrote:I have a mental husband, but not in a good sense!

is he bad to you?

..or is he just mentally disturbed?

http://www.tenetsofleykis.com/

Do yourself a favor and heed his advice.

DAZMCFC wrote:

heavenly29 wrote:I have a mental husband, but not in a good sense!

is he bad to you?

..or is he just mentally disturbed?

he's being divorced

I'd like to say he was both bad to me and mentally disturbed however if you asked him I am sure he would say I was the one that made him mentally disturbed