Conquer Club

As the alarm went off on my cellphone, my eyes slowly creaked open as I got myself motivated to start my day. I yawned and stretched and just laid in bed for a few minutes as my body began to pump blood again.

I stumbled a little bit getting out of bed, rubbed the yellow gook that was cemented to the corners of my eyes, and proceeded to the bathroom.

I yawned and urinated and scratched my nutsack as I flushed the toilet and turned the shower on. I looked myself in the mirror and smiled and said,"I like myself! I LIKE myself! I like MYSELF!" The morning ritual never got old.

I jumped in the shower, and the hot water felt so good (especially when you have a detachable shower head when you go to clean your balls). I thought to myself, "I wonder if that one guy made his move yet on Conquer Club, or do I have to go to work and wait all day to make my play?" Then I finished washing the lint from around the circumference of the helmet of my penis, and turned off the water.

I started drying of my face to get rid of all the dirt, oil, and potential blackheads, and then I dried off my hair. Next I cleaned out my ears, both inside and behind. Then I dry my neck and do the back and forth thing to get my back dried off. Then I do my arms and arm pits. From my arms I go to my chest, stomach, and legs. When I get down to my feet, I pay particular attention that I dry them thoroughly, making sure I get in between each toe really good. When my feet are good and dry, I do the family jewels. The very last thing is the backdoor...sometimes it leaves a little brown patch on my towel.

I don't know if that is the order in which you guys dry yourselves off, but that is how I do it.

Anyway, as I was drying myself off, I thought to myself, "I wonder how the House will vote on the 700 Billion dollar package?" And then I remembered this one guy on the internet that told me that the American economy would enter an imminent collapse in September 2008. So I decided to get on the internet to see if he had anything to say about the current economic/political circus going on at this moment. And this is what I found:

Read the October 1st post
http://halturnershow.blogspot.com/

My eyes bulged out of my head when I saw it! It couldn't be!?! Was this really going to happen!

I mean this guy WAS right on the September imminent collapse deal that I posted months ago back in March this year:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=46733&p=1210854&hilit=imminent+collapse+hal+turner#p1210854

So why shouldn't I believe him now?

Anyway, I don't care what you guys really say, I am pulling out all my money from my bank until I see what happens with the market, and I have been telling everybody I know and at work to do the same.

Do you think I am panicking for no reason?

Should I be panicking other people to do the same?

PS:
Start stockpiling food!

BananaMan wrote:It doesn't matter. All that money you pulled out will be valueless anyway. Better practice your marksmanship.

All I got is a Rambo style Bowie knife...I guess I can tie that to a stick. Otherwise, I plan on stockpiling food right now.

BananaMan wrote:Commercially produced food won't last forever. I'd make a trip to the Hunting/Fishing section of Walmart if I were you.

I got fishing stuff... that's no problem. I got plenty of friends and family with guns, so I don't think that will be a problem either.

You should probably worry more about the yellow gunk in your eyes and patch the hole in your mattress to resolve that lint problem. If you found lint in your ears this may be even worse than anyone ever suspected.

Didn't it turn out that Hal Turner based that off of an anon letter? And aren't these camps and financial collapse all pretty well known about for years?
Seems to me that I could have written that letter.

Juan_Bottom wrote:Didn't it turn out that Hal Turner based that off of an anon letter? And aren't these camps and financial collapse all pretty well known about for years?
Seems to me that I could have written that letter.

You should start writing, but for right now, I am listening to Hal and his informants.

Well, one of the reasons why the Great Depression happened and was so bad was because people panicked and withdrew all of their money from the banks. This in turn fucked over (for lack of a better word) many small time businesses, companies, etc because the banks had no money to loan them. This ended up ending a lot of businesses which meant millions of jobs lost...

Oddly enough, what we are going through in the economy has happened on several occasions before this. The reason why the Great Depression was so long and difficult was because people did exactly what you are thinking of doing (minus the showering and drying off part anyways).

Actually gip. There's no need to panic. You see, the LHC has already destroyed the universe and we are actually already dead, sitting in a state of non-existance so there's no more need to panic.

DaGip wrote:

BananaMan wrote:Commercially produced food won't last forever. I'd make a trip to the Hunting/Fishing section of Walmart if I were you.

I got fishing stuff... that's no problem. I got plenty of friends and family with guns, so I don't think that will be a problem either.

You're gonna eat your friends and family?

btw, had the guy made the move in the CC game? or did you have to wait all day? That was the only bit of the story I found gripping.

jonesthecurl wrote:btw, had the guy made the move in the CC game? or did you have to wait all day? That was the only bit of the story I found gripping.

DaGip wrote:The very last thing is the backdoor...sometimes it leaves a little brown patch on my towel.

Dude, you should do a better job showering.



Anyhoo, Most of my money was out of the bank months ago. And my food stockpile is decent.

If the banks do close down for the week, thered be quite alot of rioting going on so people can "get enough cash"

So a decision that drastic is quite stupid, and may end up having half the country burnt down.

Just read this...http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/05/shaky. ... topstories

The darkening clouds already have some depositors pondering a question that always seems to crop up in financial panics despite deposit insurance: Could it possibly make more sense to stash cash in a mattress than in a bank account?

"It sounds like a joke," said business owner Mauricoa Quintero as he recently paused outside a Wachovia Bank branch in Miami. "But it sounds safer than the turmoil out there right now."

Now the question is, if this is inevitable according to analysts, why in the FUCK did we,the Americans, let the government steal 700 billion dollars to pay off the very same people that should all be in Guantanamo Bay side by side with Mohammad and Ahmad?

this ones for suggs. Panic