Conquer Club

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:47 pm**

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrels

Is there nothing more cute than the squirrel? Those little bushy creatures that come in the thousands every year? I love them.

http://www.internet-grocer.net/squirrel2.jpg

:3

I want one as a pet, and according to wikipedia... that is possible!

http://elizabethfarnum.com/Images/SMSS% ... %20-01.JPG

Squirrels can be trained to be hand-fed.

Squirrels are occasionally kept as household pets, provided they are selected young enough and are hand raised in a proper fashion. They can be taught to do tricks, and are said to be as intelligent as dogs in their ability to learn behaviors.

As smart as dogs? Holy **** yes.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3121/243 ... d8435a.jpg

But they might take us as pets... They are taking over and quickly.

Black squirrels in Russia have been accused of pack behavior in the killing and consumption of a dog.

Holy ****

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/0 ... 68x371.jpg

Does this look scary to you? It should.

Squirrels are often the cause of power outages. Squirrels have brought down the high-tech NASDAQ stock market twice and were responsible for a spate of power outages at the University of Alabama.

Squirrels are blamed for economic losses to homeowners, nut growers, forest managers in addition to damage to electric transmission lines. These losses include direct damage to property, repairs, lost revenue and public relations.

Squirrels are also responsible for burrowing into sensitive earthworks such as dams and levees, causing a loss of structural integrity which requires diligent maintenance and prevention. Squirrel burrowing activity has sometimes resulted in catastrophic failures of these structures.

http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_u ... 00_333.jpg
They have lightsabers too! Holy ****!

Is that not scarily awesome?

They even have albino squirrels!

http://www.wunderground.com/data/wximag ... id10/0.jpg

I for one, welcome our new cute overlords.

How can we fight back against these deceptively cute, awesome tyrants of the squirrely variety?

Squirrel fishing, of course.

http://www.wafu.ne.jp/~yaz/gallery/Squi ... 10_med.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_fishing

Squirrel fishing is the sporting practice of "catching" squirrels and attempting to lift them into the air using a peanut tied to a string or fishing line, and optionally some kind of fishing pole.

http://www.wetasschronicles.com/archive ... shing2.jpg

Amazing.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1429/741 ... 0303cf.jpg

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:50 pm**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxKwesCKJk

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:04 pm**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLcJMMmP ... re=related

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:06 pm**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU5Tx333Eqg&feature=related

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:13 pm**

When i was cleaning up the mess from Katrina in my wife's back yard, i found a baby squirrel whose eyes weren't even opened yet. I nursed it back to health, and carried it around in my pocket. Its eyes had just opened when i took it with me one day across the Lake to New Orleans, before the general public was being allowed in. There were no dogs or cats to be seen, and no birds in the sky - the fooking air was poison, and the next day my baby squirrel died.

Sad story - his name was Mojo and he was a real chick magnet.

Honibaz

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:18 pm**

Oh my god, that's so sad :cry:

(I'm being serious)

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:27 pm**

Further proving my point that squirrels are vile little cretins.

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:28 pm**

I'd totally have a pet squirrel.

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:29 pm**

InkL0sed wrote:I'd totally have a pet squirrel.

I would only have a pet squirrel if I trained it to be a rebel and wage war against the evil squirrels.

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:37 pm**

http://api.ning.com/files/boromhBaAAJh8 ... irrels.jpg

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:43 pm**

Do you need a license to fish for squirrels

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:50 pm**

squirrels taste good.

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:58 pm**

They are organized and they are training for the pending take over of human society, as proven by this documentary footage.

(Those of you alive long enough to remember the 80s probably remember this)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2swSpzs3CQ0

Posted: **Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:01 pm**

b.k. barunt wrote:When i was cleaning up the mess from Katrina in my wife's back yard, i found a baby squirrel whose eyes weren't even opened yet. I nursed it back to health, and carried it around in my pocket. Its eyes had just opened when i took it with me one day across the Lake to New Orleans, before the general public was being allowed in. There were no dogs or cats to be seen, and no birds in the sky - the fooking air was poison, and the next day my baby squirrel died.

Sad story - his name was Mojo and he was a real chick magnet.

Honibaz

Sad yet beautiful. Good stuff.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:59 am**

I had a dream about a squirrel once. It was attacking me and pulling long elastic spaghetti-type cords from my neck with it's teeth, I asume they were veins or sinews or something. Anyway, it was quite horrific.

I did meet some nice squirrels in the Grand Canyon once though, so that kind of balances out the bad story.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:24 am**

They can actually be quite vicious. I know a guy who was hunting them one day out in the swamp, and one that he shot got caught in the tree. When he climbed up to get it, it came to and attacked him - jumped in his face and tore him up pretty good before he managed to strangle it. He's got some pretty good scars on his face now.

We have fox squirrels down here, twice as big as a regular squirrel and twice as mean. Had one charge me one time when i went to pick it up after i shot it out of a tree. I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

Honibaz

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:30 am**

b.k. barunt wrote: I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

Honibaz

That's a good way to get a tapeworm, besides.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:39 am**

b.k. barunt wrote:I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

This is great! Totally confirms the image I have of you. That's the best laugh I've had yet today.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:42 am**

InkL0sed wrote:Oh my god, that's so sad

(I'm being serious)

I love how you have to clarify that you're being serious.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:44 am**

pimpdave wrote:
b.k. barunt wrote: I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

Honibaz

That's a good way to get a tapeworm, besides.

Redneck diet...

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:52 am**

I won't argue one way or another on cutest. But they are far from the best.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:55 am**

Anarkistsdream wrote:
pimpdave wrote:
b.k. barunt wrote: I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

Honibaz

That's a good way to get a tapeworm, besides.

Redneck diet...

I thought rednecks dined on minorities and PBR.

Posted: **Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:13 pm**

Anarkistsdream wrote:
pimpdave wrote:
b.k. barunt wrote: I hunted barefoot back then, so i felt somewhat exposed - scared the shit outta me.

Honibaz

That's a good way to get a tapeworm, besides.

Redneck diet...

No, I meant the walking around barefoot. Do I have my facts wrong? I thought the two most common ways of getting a tapeworm were A) eating wild game and B) walking barefoot on fecal matter (which, if out hunting in the wild, there would probably be a fair amount of in the top soil).

Of course, there's also C) diet expert gives you one to lose weight a la Britney Spears.

Conquer Club

I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures

Re: I have decided squirrels are the cutest and best creatures