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The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:23 pm
by Simon Viavant
God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:24 pm
by Frigidus
Well, see, Jesus is super great, like, awesome. Did that help clarify things.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:25 pm
by pimpdave
George Carlin RIP
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:26 pm
by Hologram
Wait, I'm confused, what was the second genocide?
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:28 pm
by Simon Viavant
Frigidus wrote:Well, see, Jesus is super great, like, awesome. Did that help clarify things.
Yeah, he's so fucking hot, dude. Except he's such an obnoxious goody goody. I mean, he gets tempted for forty days by Satan. You'd have to be a total, obnoxious, self righteous prude to resist that.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:32 pm
by Gregrios
Simon Viavant wrote:God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
Nothing like starting a thread where the very first comment is a bold face lie.

Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:32 pm
by Snorri1234
Hologram wrote:Wait, I'm confused, what was the second genocide?
That time I killed a bunch of idiots because I thought it would be funny.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:33 pm
by william18
Simon Viavant wrote:God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:35 pm
by Simon Viavant
Gregrios wrote:Simon Viavant wrote:God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
Nothing like starting a thread where the very first comment is a bold face lie.

If you program a computer to surf the web, and that's what it does, is it the computer's fault for being sinful by surfing the web. So you're saying that 6,000 years ago two people ate a piece of fruit and because of that we have all consciously chosen to be sinful little bitches? It all makes sense now.

Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:37 pm
by Simon Viavant
Hologram wrote:Wait, I'm confused, what was the second genocide?
It's called the Book of Revelations. It hasn't happened yet but it will.

Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:38 pm
by william18
Simon Viavant wrote:Gregrios wrote:Simon Viavant wrote:God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
Nothing like starting a thread where the very first comment is a bold face lie.

If you program a computer to surf the web, and that's what it does, is it the computer's fault for being sinful by surfing the web. So you're saying that 6,000 years ago two people ate a piece of fruit and because of that we have all consciously chosen to be sinful little bitches? It all makes sense now.

Actually our sinful nature was caused by Eve eating the fruit.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:40 pm
by Hologram
Gregrios wrote:Simon Viavant wrote:God designs humans to be sinful, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness, then promises to never do it again, then impregnates a woman and is born as her baby and sacrifices himself to himself to atone for the sinfulness he created in humans, then commits genocide on them for their sinfulness as he promised never to do again.
Nothing like starting a thread where the very first comment is a bold face lie.

Sin is and always has been code for free will.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:40 pm
by Frigidus
william18 wrote:I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:41 pm
by browng-08
That bitch.
Actually, the best part of that is now I feel completely justified to pimpslap every woman I see, all because of the original sin. Good times...
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:42 pm
by william18
Frigidus wrote:william18 wrote:I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Lol, I rushed that.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:43 pm
by william18
Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You may now wear the label "Douche bag"."
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:44 pm
by Hologram
william18 wrote:Frigidus wrote:william18 wrote:I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Lol, I rushed that.
Sure.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:44 pm
by william18
Hologram wrote:william18 wrote:Frigidus wrote:william18 wrote:I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Lol, I rushed that.
Sure.
But the bad grammer doesn't hide it's truth.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:45 pm
by Simon Viavant
william18 wrote:Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You my now wear the label "Douche bag"."
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:46 pm
by Frigidus
william18 wrote:Hologram wrote:william18 wrote:Frigidus wrote:william18 wrote:I call this a prime example of how a retard who know of nothing he talks about spews his comprehansion of the bible with the same cognitave ability of an ostirich. You my now wear the label "Douche bag".
Lol, I rushed that.
Sure.
But the bad grammer doesn't hide it's truth.
But it does make baby Jesus cry.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:48 pm
by william18
Thats questionable in this context.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:50 pm
by Simon Viavant
william18 wrote:Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You may now wear the label "Douche bag"."
And this is your third try.

Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:52 pm
by william18
Simon Viavant wrote:william18 wrote:Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You may now wear the label "Douche bag"."
And this is your third try.

Thats called correct grammer. In the english language we are allowed to phrase things in more ways then one.
Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:53 pm
by browng-08
william18 wrote:Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You may now wear the label "Douche bag"."
Third time's the charm?

Re: The bible - can any non retards make sense of that shit?

Posted:
Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:56 pm
by Hologram
william18 wrote:Simon Viavant wrote:william18 wrote:Let me rephrase that.
"I call this a prime example of how a retard who knows nothing of what talks about spews his comprehension of the bible with the same cognitive ability of an ostirch. You may now wear the label "Douche bag"."
And this is your third try.

Thats called correct grammer. In the english language we are allowed to phrase things in more ways then one.
That is nowhere near correct
English. If perhaps you had added a "he" in between "what" and "talks" and spelled "ostrich" right, you may have an argument.