Conquer Club

I'm inviting everyone into this thread to share with me why they feel that I should or shouldn't be here. These are my only rules: 1.)NO Golden Showers, 2.)NO Hot Carl's, 3.)NO Donkey Punching, 4.)NO Dutch Ovens, 5.)NO Hair Pulling, 6.)NO Biting, 7.)NO Crying, 8.)NO Thread Loitering. Anyone's post that breaks any of these select rules will be immediately vetoed and disregarded! Meaning I will not comment on it other than that you have broken one or more of the rules. I also might further suggest that you reword or redirect your comment in proper etiquette if I feel that you were almost on the right track. Humor me....

Your posts are pretty funny sometimes, but man, I hate farmers. That's about all I can say.

King_Herpes wrote:4.)NO Dutch Ovens

I thought that said Dutch Owens. I though "owenshooter isn't Dutch!!?"

john9blue wrote:Your posts are pretty funny sometimes, but man, I hate farmers. That's about all I can say.

Thanks john9blue! I try. But as for farming, here's the Farming's Guild Uncle Sam. Here is his message to all of Conquer Club's new recruits and any naysayers for that matter:

So a Dirty Sanchez is still okay? You're okay with a Rusty Trombone? What about a Cleveland Steamer?

Well, whatever. Now that you're here, there's plenty of time for us to explore each others' desires.

I want you here because we need to have CC sex and spread our disease =]

I like the commercials that your avy represents. Is that good enough?

Queen_Gonorrhea wrote:I want you here because we need to have CC sex and spread our disease =]

HAHAHA!

pimpdave wrote:So a Dirty Sanchez is still okay? You're okay with a Rusty Trombone? What about a Cleveland Steamer?

Well, whatever. Now that you're here, there's plenty of time for us to explore each others' desires.

I specifically left these and a number of others out for degenerates like ourselves that can spot a loophole a mile away. Now give me your best Angry Pirate, Alabama Hot Pocket, or Tony Danza and there is nothing I can do...

Gregrios wrote:I like the commercials that your avy represents.

Not to mention I look a hell of a lot cooler than this f*ck stick.

Gregrios wrote:Is that good enough?

I'll take what I can get while the gettin's good curious Greg.

have you ever had a haggis supper?

your silence speaks volumes, king. degenerate indeed!

khazalid wrote:have you ever had a haggis supper?

Just because I am of Scottish descent doesn't mean that I like this.

I'm never on the receiving Kkk. That would be like asking you if you've ever had a boston pancake? Then expecting some kind of serious discussion after wards...

khazalid wrote:your silence speaks volumes, king. degenerate indeed!

5.)NO Hair Pulling! Kindly rephrase your intended message and I will give it some thought...

Are you free to babysit tonight?

pimpdave wrote:Are you free to babysit tonight?

I appreciate your full trust in me young pimp, but I am in no way suitable to look over snot lings. I think we both know that black elk speaks is a more formidable sitter. Why don't you ask him and I'm sure he'll oblige.

Note: I'm too heavy into bong hits and sporadic masturbation to offer proper guidance. I'm flattered.

King_Herpes wrote:

pimpdave wrote:Are you free to babysit tonight?

I appreciate your full trust in me young pimp, but I am in no way suitable to look over snot lings. I think we both now that black elk speaks is a more formidable sitter. Why don't you ask him and I'm sure he'll oblige.

Note: I'm too heavy into bong hits and sporadic masturbation to offer proper guidance. I'm flattered.

Oh, well, I meant for ______________'s kids anyway. Those unruly brats are armed to the teeth! Someone needs to set them straight with a good old fashioned "rip sesh" followed by a Jenna Jameson Whack-A-Thon.

pimpdave wrote: Oh, well, I meant for ______________'s kids anyway. Those unruly brats are armed to the teeth! Someone needs to set them straight with a good old fashioned "rip sesh" followed by a Jenna Jameson Whack-A-Thon.

oooh, reminds me of my childhood. *sigh*, You have a special way of making people remember where they came from. As much as I'd like to fumble through my broken past you're beginning to teeter on the edge of breaking rule # 8. If you don't find some other wall space to sleep by I'm going to half to start giving you the cold shoulder. All I can offer is some old newspaper and a bus token for you if you don't hit a shave and find a different thread for your afternoon nap.

Question: Why or why do I not belong in Conquer Club?