by Tviorr on Thu Jan 23, 2025 7:21 pm
Stuff seems to be cooling down some. I hope that is a good sign for the future of the Legaues.
I think there has been some decent points made during this thread and some effort to reach state of minds where opinions and people may be able to find each other and a way forward.
I dont think I have anything to add to my take, but let me get to one thing, that I think I neglected along the way:
Condolenses on your father, Craig.
Its always horrible to lose the ones we love and losing ones parents is perhaps the most horrible thing we all have to go through at some point unless we are unlucky or lucky enough to find the exit site ahead of them.
I think Ive neglected to mention this earlier because I still find myself withdrawing from these subjects when they arent immediately close to me. It digs up old but still relevant feelings and wounds that I still tend to want to push away even coming up on 10 years since my mother passed and 16 since my father did.
It sucks. Always. And in my experience its not something you get over, its something you carry with you while learning to live with it. - From personal experience it can entail some pretty hefty cracks in ones foundations even if you believed those to be fairly solid. - After all, your parents build those foundations for you and with you.
And it can take a long time to reach a reasonable place and come to some sort of peace with it. - Paraphrasing Fredrik Backman (who is Swedish, but I will hear no word against him because of that. He cant help it and has overcome that rather great mental deficit to write several amazing books) :
Death's greatest trick is to make the living stop living.
This can happen on and off even if one knows well enough that this is not what they wanted for you. Just getting out of bed can be a chore. I wish for you friends that will keep poking at you untill you get to a somewhat better place and even beyond that.
I hope for you that it will be infrequent that you see happy people in the street and your first thought is: "Bastards", but I think its fairly normal too. - It was for me at least. Its normal to hate your friends a little on occasion for their kind attention, caring about you and wishing to somehow help.
It does get better, or rather you get better. It takes time. Lots of things will help a little, but what is very individual and one of the most annoying things are people trying to help, when clearly no one can. - Sometimes its also nice that they try, most of the time its both.
Best wishes going forward - and if thats too hard then maybe sideways for a while, cause moving tends to be important - to you and yours.