Victor Sullivan interrupts Satan... "Sir, I have big news"..
"What is it, Victor? Has AndyDefresne succeeded in helping our dice demons achieved their evil objectives? Have we relocated Seulessliathan to Belgium? Have we quenched more hideous maps? Is my bastard redneck son Koolbak returning my truck?"
"No sir, there was fantastic crash, and all of the posters in the 199 victories thread have been killed"
A jubilant Satan, allowing his quilt of souls to fall to the floor, jumps from his chair and begins to plan excitedly...
"Uh sir, I regret to inform you that not ALL of them are here... some, er.. well... went to... errr... you know, the other pl--"
Victor, having been impaled by Satan's pitchfork, falls to the floor... "I thought funkyterrance assured me we owned them ALL, damn it..." shouts an infuriated Satan.
Janomike steps in to encourage Satan by informing him that 3 of the victims are already ready in the next room, and that other demons were working feverishly to prepare another room for the others.
"FINE! let's see what we've got", Satan replies to Janomike as they approach the specially prepared room.
In the room, we find Woodruff, Tricardinial and Fruitcake. All three guys are a little confused at their present situation. All three are even more startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Fire and Brimstone.
The evil voice of the Devil was heard, "Woofruff, you have sinned!
You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!"
And Woodruff was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his eternal torment.
This understandably shook up Tricardinial and Fruitcake, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and then they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her.
The voice of the Devil was heard, "Tricardinial, you have sinned!
You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!"
And Tricardinial, like Woodruff, was whisked off, to spend an even worse eternal torment.
Fruitcake, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, with flowing hair, shapely curves, all in perfect proportion...
Delighted, Fruitcake jumps up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:
"squishyg, you have sinned...."
