sometime earlier this year i got really bored again.
the treacherous vagaries of the types of games i had traditionally played became dull and insipid, rather than nuanced and invigorating. i started experimenting with weird obscure game options, mixing them together until i got a bad habit like 2 player speed on gazala. it covered up my boredom for a while but did not cure it. i needed a more meaty challenge.
for a while i stopped new games entirely. ran my active games all the way to just 9 super-awesome stalematey-like no cards thrillers, all well in the 100s of rounds. but my competitive streak wouldn't allow me to leave these games... so i was stuck...
then one day it came to me. instead of playing games on cc, i would play the game of cc. that is, the scoreboard. i would get points anyway possible, within the rules, as presented in the Rules.
i toyed with this as its own logic puzzle, just like an 8 player escalating takeout. I tried a few
different things. I developed a general approach then refined it.
then one day I discovered that I couldn't lose.
i had become the noob-whisperer.
yes, i discovered suddenly that by meticulously following a system that i developed, i had become invincible against noobs. indeed, i am entirely confident that by following this system i can make conqueror because my calculations told me that the win rate i needed was less than my actual current win rate under the system of... 100%. i can't remember the last time i lost a game, which is good because i really don't like losing.
now there are a variety of things that go into this system, some of which are obvious by looking at my record, others of which are less obvious. for example, i wear a purple cape at my keyboard at all times. also, discipline certainly plays a significant role, so this system would not be for the 99% of humans that can't even follow through on the simplest self-prescribed dictates, let alone follow an ongoing program of anything more demanding that the covering of ones flesh with cloth before stepping out for the day. further, to be a true noob-whisperer, you need to get under the skull-cap of the noob. you need
to be as the noob, even while you are not of the noob. if anyone is interested in purchasing my system, please make your offer in the most entertaining way possible.
in any case, i hardly believe i'm the only one with the innate skills to do it. probably there will be a lot more people trying soon, which is perhaps one way to mitigate the "issue", as noob-demand will outstrip noob-supply. there are other ways i can think of as well, but of course as soon as one "issue" is mitigated, another will arise, as the next rabbiton emerges,
scent of blood in its flaring nostrils, steely eyes fixed gleelessly on its score, black-hearted, machine like apparatus forged and finely honed for nothing other than merciless preying on the weak and ignorant.
in any case, now i'm really bored again.
the sheer momentum of never losing was carrying me on, however the nexus of dice, cards, and an opponent who wasn't entirely retarded is finally about to catch up with me. game number is 3018952 if you want to go cheer on private tnguyenv, who will become the first new recruit (when the game started) to beat me, and he doesn't even seem to be a multi.
congrats to private tnguyenv!
so with a stupid amount of points in my kit-bag, and a fire-proof system to get more, now what? i could chase the conqueror title, but it somehow doesn't seem worth it.
and i'm still stuck in the same 9 marathon games with no end in sight.
i was considering joining a "clan", though i can't truly imagine what that would entail.
i was considering playing teams games... but who would be interested in teaming with a very high ranked team-noob?
maybe i should just buy the website and shut it down.
maybe then i'd be at peace.
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