Chuck Norris Facts

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris did not vote for Barack Obama.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris understands that the dice on Conquer Club are in fact random and hence does not complain when he loses several rolls in a row..

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris does not like the food at Olive Garden.

[Doc_Brown]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

[b.k. barunt]

The only person who beat Chuck Norris did not live much longer after that (which is kind of true; Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon).

Chuck Norris wasn't in "Enter the Dragon".


Honibaz

[john9blue]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

God dammit I was about to post that.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris can eat 6 saltine crackers in 60 seconds without a drink.

[BigBallinStalin]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

[Army of GOD]

Hammer Time takes place during Norris Time

[frankiebee]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

No chance, Chuck Norris was first.

[BigBallinStalin]

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

No chance, Chuck Norris was first.

These tests of my faith in the undeniable powers of McGill University were invented shortly after McGill University invented Chuck Norris who then invented what McGill University had already invented.

[Streaker]

Chuck Norris invented Conquer Club.

That, my dear Sir, is a lie! Everyone knows that CC was invented at MCGill university, in 1903.
Chuck Norris made McGill though, microseconds after McGill University invented Chuck Norris.

[cyrenius]

Facts?!? Not so sure about that but...just to play along...

Follow these steps:
1. Go to Google.com
2. Type in "Find Chuck Norris"
3. Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button
4. Laugh (out loud)

LMAO

[bruno fountain]

Chuck norris does not do push up's. He pushes the earth down.

[brian fletcher]

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

[kazoo]

According to Chuck Norris, theres no table of elements... only the element of SUPRISE!

[rattius]

Chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest

[happy2seeyou]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. There is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

[Trephining]

Chuck Norris can still buy full half gallons of ice cream rather than the 48 oz containers.

[john9blue]

That's because he just buys ice bags and roundhouse kicks them, turning them instantly into ice cream. He drinks the vanilla extract separately.

[bedub1]

Chuck Norris and McGill University are like the Chicken and the Egg. It's just part of the mystery surrounding Chuck Norris.

[Army of GOD]

Chuck Norris resurrected 2 days after he died. Suck on that, Jesus!

[BigBallinStalin]

That's because he just buys ice bags and roundhouse kicks them, turning them instantly into ice cream. He drinks the vanilla extract separately.

ice cream is plastic + ice cubes + vanilla extract?

Chuck Norris would not approve and will soon turn you into ice cream.


He will be making you pay for his visit to your house because Chuck Norris doesn't pay anybody.