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Dukasaur wrote:I was at the Mount Morris dam a few days ago, and there was a sign in the bathroom saying "Please don't throw trash in the toilet. It is extremely difficult to remove."
And I thought, "You're the fucking U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, for Christ's sakes! You can change the course of entire rivers, but you find it 'extremely difficult' to remove a plastic bag from a latrine?!?!"
Dukasaur wrote:I was at the Mount Morris dam a few days ago, and there was a sign in the bathroom saying "Please don't throw trash in the toilet. It is extremely difficult to remove."
And I thought, "You're the fucking U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, for Christ's sakes! You can change the course of entire rivers, but you find it 'extremely difficult' to remove a plastic bag from a latrine?!?!"
BigBallinStalin wrote:Dukasaur wrote:I was at the Mount Morris dam a few days ago, and there was a sign in the bathroom saying "Please don't throw trash in the toilet. It is extremely difficult to remove."
And I thought, "You're the fucking U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, for Christ's sakes! You can change the course of entire rivers, but you find it 'extremely difficult' to remove a plastic bag from a latrine?!?!"
They're just tired of hearing the janitors complain.
betiko wrote:What do you do when you have diarhea, you quickly run to the bar s toilet and you discover that:
-there is no paper
Common scenario, actually. Most women carry napkins in their purse, but for men it becomes more problematic. Hopefully you have your latest paycheque or something equally worthless still sitting around in your pocket.
-there is no lock and other people are trying to get in
That's not a real problem. Just yell "f*ck off!" at everyone who comes through the door. Most of them are as embarrassed as you are and will comply promptly.
- there is no toilet seat
If you've ever been to Spain (where most places don't have toilet seats, ever, except really expensive places), you know that's not a problem either. You ride the opposite sides of the toilet like the pegs on a motorcycle.
- fucking hell if you don t drop your pants now you ll be shitting yourself!!!!
Dukasaur wrote:betiko wrote:there is no toilet seat
If you've ever been to Spain (where most places don't have toilet seats, ever, except really expensive places), you know that's not a problem either. You ride the opposite sides of the toilet like the pegs on a motorcycle.
Dukasaur wrote:betiko wrote:What do you do when you have diarhea, you quickly run to the bar s toilet and you discover that:
-there is no paper
Common scenario, actually. Most women carry napkins in their purse, but for men it becomes more problematic. Hopefully you have your latest paycheque or something equally worthless still sitting around in your pocket.
-there is no lock and other people are trying to get in
That's not a real problem. Just yell "f*ck off!" at everyone who comes through the door. Most of them are as embarrassed as you are and will comply promptly.
- there is no toilet seat
If you've ever been to Spain (where most places don't have toilet seats, ever, except really expensive places), you know that's not a problem either. You ride the opposite sides of the toilet like the pegs on a motorcycle.
- fucking hell if you don t drop your pants now you ll be shitting yourself!!!!
betiko wrote:You are in a classy casino playing cards. You are completely shitting yourself. You run to the men s room, and it s full with some queue. It s clearly not moving fast enough for you to hold. As there are only 2 toilets. You then notice that the women s room is all clear and has an open door. You run to the door and lock yourself in so that no woman sees you. You turn around, and see the fithiest thing: someone just had an explosive shite in there and nuked the place! You are shitting yourself and you are desperate. Then you see below the door that a classy lady with high heels is desperately knocking on your door to get in. What do you do?
Dukasaur wrote:betiko wrote:You are in a classy casino playing cards. You are completely shitting yourself. You run to the men s room, and it s full with some queue. It s clearly not moving fast enough for you to hold. As there are only 2 toilets. You then notice that the women s room is all clear and has an open door. You run to the door and lock yourself in so that no woman sees you. You turn around, and see the fithiest thing: someone just had an explosive shite in there and nuked the place! You are shitting yourself and you are desperate. Then you see below the door that a classy lady with high heels is desperately knocking on your door to get in. What do you do?
Tear open your shirt so the top two buttons are broken. Leave your pants down, slouch to the side, roll your eyes, and swing the door open. With the most disgusting leer you can manage, throw your arm around her and bellow in her ear, "COME ON IN MY DARLING! I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR YOU!"
While she runs off screaming, pull up your pants and make your escape.
Woodruff wrote:This thread has really gone to...shit.
betiko wrote:Woodruff wrote:This thread has really gone to...shit.
This started as a decent conversation about fat people and duka started talking about public toilets, he s the one to blame!
Funkyterrance wrote:How often does Lootifer actually make fun of fat people?
Lootifer wrote:Funkyterrance wrote:How often does Lootifer actually make fun of fat people?
I dont usually, but I am pretty judgemental when it comes to appearance (mostly physique, my dress sense is terrible). I personally feel there is no excuse for [most] people being overweight: sort your shit (topical pun intended).
Lootifer wrote:Yeah but are you out of shape or are you fat fat fatty?
apey wrote:here allow me to change the subject
Boobies!!
Dukasaur wrote:apey wrote:here allow me to change the subject
Boobies!!
Show me!
betiko wrote:Dukasaur wrote:apey wrote:here allow me to change the subject
Boobies!!
Show me!
So you can report him?
Dukasaur wrote:betiko wrote:Dukasaur wrote:apey wrote:here allow me to change the subject
Boobies!!
Show me!
So you can report him?
I wouldn't, but somebody might. Don't show me!
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