by Prawn_UK on Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:49 pm
Bless Odin...what a question.
My whole existence has turned into a drunken fiasco...however, this one shivers me timbers especially:
Me and 10 college mates had just finished our A-level exams, and decided to go on a week's "lads holiday" to Tenerife. We arrived at our apartments at 11 am...perfect time to explore the area before unpacking and going out for the evening...except we just chucked our bags down, and went straight onto the beach with numerous cheaply-acquired bottles of vodka and san-miguel.
So, by 6pm, before even thinking about going back to our apartments to get ready for the evening, we we're all bladdered. Finally by 8pm, we were a loud, broody drunken bunch of washed, "out on the town" scallies.
The evening was nonetheless enjoyable and well-mannered, until around about 11pm. 4 of us had ventured into a dodgy part of "playas de las americas" where many various "entrepeneurs" ply their trade. Being the responsible one, I had nothing to do with the ensuing group of hookers, that 3 of my mates decided to get sucky-sucky off of...and i myself retired to a bar close by, where I would meet them a little later on. I got chatting with some locals, and all was well......
That is, until one of my mates about 10 minutes later comes running in, holding his bleeding stomach, crying for help.
Now, I was obviously a little concerned, and got the bar tenders to call for an ambulance and look after him whilst I tracked down the other chaps in the group.
I ran out of the door to look for them, and found one on the floor about 50 yards down the road, unconcious, but seemingly ok. I slapped him until he woke...I was now panicking, and after 20 seconds he came around...he hadn't any recollection of what had gone on...I just directed him down towards the pub, and went on the hunt for the missing member..
I must've only been running about for about 3 minutes, but it seemed like an hour...due to my panicking, not knowing where this other guy was...I slowed down for a breather in a side alley, exhausted, and heard a familiar voice.....
"You like that? Go on, suck it"
It was my mate, being blown off by some slut, but now was not the time to be reserved with these things, and I interrupted them, and told him to come with me...
ANYWAY
It transpires, not to my knowledge at the time, that my mate who was stabbed, was actually stabbed by a 6 foot transvestite lady-man, who he wouldnt pay for the service of, who in turn got offended and stabbed him....who then chased my other mate up the road, and Knocked him to the floor, after he tried to defend the first one.......who then happened to run into the third friend of mine who had gone "walkies"..and..well........ya.......a tranny blew him off.
But, it doesnt stop there...These three fuckers, now all in the pub where I have collected them all together, decide to all go down the ambulance, whilst I hang back and find the other chaps in my group, to tell them the situation..
I flag down a taxi, to take me back to the bar I had been in previously, and find that I have lost my wallet in the mayhem before hand.....the fucker won't let me out of the taxi until I've paid him, and I cant rememeber the name of my hotel I'm staying in to find more funds....finally I give him my only possesion....my beloved rolex watch to set me free......only to find that my other mates had left this bar....leaving me a penniless drunk twat, not knowing where the f*ck I am, or where my hotel was.....
Around about 2pm the next afternoon (roughly about 12 hours later), after tireless walking around in circles, I find the other 6 of my friends sat on the same beach we were on the previous day....they hadnt even raised an eyebrow that the other 4 of us had dissapeared...and when I told them the story (bearing in mind, that at this point, the whole "tranny" thing was still not known to me) they head straight down the hospital, whilst I promptly collapsed into my hotel bed.
The chap who was stabbed was fine, though in hospital for 3 of the 7 days on holiday (funnily enough, he was the only member of the party who took out holiday insurance...)
What a fucking night.
Never again..though, I have a life-times worth of artillery on my "tranny-loving" mate.
