jilted john -  (an absolute classic)
I've been going out with a girl, 
her name is Julie 
But last night she said to me, 
when we were watching telly 
(This is what she said) 
She said listen John, I love you 
But there's this bloke, I fancy 
I don't want to two time you, 
so it's the end for you and me 
Who's this bloke I asked her 
Goooooordon, she replied 
Not THAT puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he's no puff she cried
(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)
Here we go, two three four
I was so upset that I cried, 
all the way to the chip shop
When I came out there was Gordon, 
standing at the bus stop 
(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)
Oh, she is cruel and heartless 
to pack me for Gordon 
Just cos he's better looking than me 
Just cos he's cool and trendy 
[Jilted John lyrics on 
http://www.metrolyrics.com]
But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron 
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron
Here we go, two three four
Oh she's a slag and he's a creep
She's a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
(I'm so upset)
I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah
(I ought to smash his face in.)
(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)
(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)
(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)
(Oh well, I don't care)
I don't care
I don't care
Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
she's a tart, he's very cheap
she is a slut, he thinks he's tough......