CC: The NS, #22 - Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers

[GreecePwns]

The CEO of Conquer Club software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws.

The Debate

"These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO Erica du Pont from out the window of his 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"


"Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! Jazz Washington from out the window of his clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little man, and the best way to do that is to shut down the big, oppressive, corporate gurus in Microcosm and beyond."


"Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother Jacob Thiesen of the Conquer Club Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."

[GreecePwns]

1 month ago, GreecePwns misspelled fluoride, misunderstood fluoride, then spent a month trying to explain to everyone why he was right about a substance he can't even spell.

Estoy confusado.

Just in case I'm reading this right, you think I'm coming up with these scenarios, which I'm not. Is this true?

[Symmetry]

1 month ago, GreecePwns misspelled fluoride, misunderstood fluoride, then spent a month trying to explain to everyone why he was right about a substance he can't even spell.

Estoy confusado.

Just in case I'm reading this right, you think I'm coming up with these scenarios, which I'm not. Is this true?

Just in case I'm reading this right, did you just misspell "Estoy confuso"? Or am I coming up with a different language now, one in which you're capable of typing words correctly, and understanding what they mean, but nobody else can.

[GreecePwns]

Forgive me for my lack of knowledge in Spanish. What's your point?

[natty dread]

The CEO of Conquer Club software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws.

The Debate

"These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO Erica du Pont from out the window of his 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"


"Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! Jazz Washington from out the window of his clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little man, and the best way to do that is to shut down the big, oppressive, corporate gurus in Microcosm and beyond."


"Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother Jacob Thiesen of the Conquer Club Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."

Ok I don't know if you're taking these options straight from the game or if you're just making them up or embellishing them, but this is the worst representation of the antitrust debate I've seen and doesn't even begin to address the different issues of the actual debate.

I mean, it's pretty obvious that this is supposed to mirror the actual controversy around Microsoft and their immoral business practices, but the reasons why people are opposed to Microsoft's (or Apple's or IBM's or etc.) policies is pretty damn poorly represented here. I'd say it's getting close to strawman territory. If I didn't know better (and actually, I don't), I'd suspect some Microsoft PR department employee wrote those options...

I'm just saying, the question is so loaded that it's a wonder it doesn't collapse on itself and form a black hole.

[GreecePwns]

We have decided to shut down our country's version of Microsoft. The next issue will be available shortly:

A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.

"We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims Doris Patel, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."

"Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says Stephanie Clinton, an ardent pacifist. "Duelling ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."

[DoomYoshi]

Who is the barbarian voting against duels?

I challenge you to a duel!