http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2170809/UK-weather-Get-ready-10-days-rain-forecasters-blame-shift-jet-stream.html
A months worth of rain fell in one day yesterday, causing wide spread floods, big puddles and water in the sky. The unusually wet weather has been blamed on the severe shift in the direction of the gulf stream. This theory about the shift in gulf stream has been de bunked by right wing conservatives, who have laid the blame squarely at Gordon Browns door.
The Chancellor George Osborne went on record saying "This inclement weather as been unavoidable since Gordon Brown reduced spending on Gulf stream re-directional vanes, that the previous Tory government had funded, through joint private initiatives paid for by PFI and increased taxes on the poor and needy."
David Cameron also was reported to of been "really pissed off" that he had to wait 20 minutes, for the Wimbledon roof to be closed for the men's final which meant he missed most of the Antiques Roadshow. As he quickly got into his no10 Limo, he was over heard to say to Samantha "That fucking does it! - On Monday I'm going to privatise the NHS and with all that private money, get those gulf stream re directional vanes up graded!"
True to his word, by 11:15 this morning, all unemployed sick people arriving at A & E were met by Group4 security guards and were shot.
The cost of the bullets and the cost of body removal will be invoiced to direct family members, with a reduction in charges by half if the £3,269 bill is paid within 14 days.
Ed Milliband was unavailable for comment, because he was round Gordon Browns house kicking him in the bollocks....
