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Favorite things about Jesus

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Favorite things about Jesus

Postby whitestazn88 on Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:38 am

1. He's one of the most popular imaginary friends in the world, which is impressive considering the ability of the human mind to create all sorts of different things. And don't tell me it's because of indoctrination or whatever. A ton of people just really want to be imaginary friends with a hippie that builds shit out of wood and then talks about sharing everything. And the rest of us just make fun of hipster socialsts... but whatever floats your boat..


And the comment following this colon will be for rds only:

Lock this thread since it's a stretch to believe that some crazy cosmic deity being was sent to earth by a vengeful god to show us that he's not above beating the shit out of his own son, so we best believe he's ready to dole out more floods and plagues on our human asses.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby saxitoxin on Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:07 am

great abs
Pack Rat wrote:if it quacks like a duck and walk like a duck, it's still fascism

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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby Sydney0103 on Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:15 am

The fact that he can forgive you posting this!
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby xeno on Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:00 am

saxitoxin wrote:great abs

Dam you if I wasn't coming here to say the exact thing. Crucifixion did wonders for that man's core.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby heavycola on Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:59 am

He could have played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could have told the future.
He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could have scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could have danced better than Baryshnikov.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby ManBungalow on Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:02 am

Still throws a great birthday bash every year, despite being dead for about two millennia.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby KoolBak on Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:15 am

I like the way he pronounced his name "Hey-Zeus!"
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby BigBallinStalin on Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:45 am

He's black!
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby heavycola on Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:05 am

BigBallinStalin wrote:He's black!


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FAIL
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby BigBallinStalin on Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:35 am

NO WAY!



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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby jay_a2j on Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:34 pm

Sydney0103 wrote:The fact that he can forgive you posting this!




=D>
THE DEBATE IS OVER...
PLAYER57832 wrote:Too many of those who claim they don't believe global warming are really "end-timer" Christians.

JESUS SAVES!!!
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby bedub1 on Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:23 pm

Jesus is the square root of negative 1.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby heavycola on Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:07 am

BigBallinStalin wrote:NO WAY!



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Is that Owenshooter?
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby BigBallinStalin on Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:28 am

HOW DARE YOU!
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby Johnny Rockets on Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:36 am

The whole water<wine thing was pretty cool....

That and he's bailed out my sorry ass more times than I can count....



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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby Army of GOD on Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:37 pm

he can make poop float
mrswdk is a ho
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby BigBallinStalin on Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:02 am

He can walk on floating poop.
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby xeno on Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:00 am

He poops in my mouth
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Re: Favorite things about Jesus

Postby pimpdave on Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:45 am

My favorite thing is that he forgives us of stuff. Such as Father Angel Armando Perez. Jesus has forgiven him of raping twelve year old boys, therefore there's no reason to pursue the matter further. So everyone should stop persecuting the Catholic Church and let him resume his blessed work with children. Because he's sorry, so he totally probably won't do it again.
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