Choose Your Cycling Team

by **saxitoxin** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:22 pm

You are planning to cycle the Pan-American Highway with three members of The Club. Given only the presented options, who would you select to accompany you for the next 6 months to 1 year?

by **Army of GOD** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:34 pm

-nietzche, but only because we're going through Mexico and he can hook us up with some Tiajuana whores.
-Lootifer because he probably has an absolutely hilarious New Zealand accent
-BBS because he and Lootifer can discuss economics during the night which will aid in my falling asleep

by **nietzsche** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:37 pm

Army of GOD wrote:-nietzche, but only because we're going through Mexico and he can hook us up with some Tiajuana whores.
-Lootifer because he probably has an absolutely hilarious New Zealand accent
-BBS because he and Lootifer can discuss economics during the night which will aid in my falling asleep

No thanks, I don't want to be in your team. Your legs are so tiny that you would need a tricycle and we would have to wait for you all the time.

by **saxitoxin** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:38 pm

I chose:

nietzsche - could communicate with the natives

Army of God - could ride in the basket on the front of my bike and hand me drinks and such

Symmetry - could pointedly critique the assorted shortcomings of the various locales through which we would pass; it would be like having a sarcastic tour guide

by **Funkyterrance** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:45 pm

I voted Jones, Player, and /. These three are by far the least pessimistic of the choices and if I am going to be spending that much time with someone I want there to be as little "debbie downer" atmosphere as possible. I can also envision us all having quite a bit of fun chatting and pointing out landmarks, wildlife and the like. I love cycling myself and I have found that pessimists are no fun on bike rides. The aforementioned seem to me to have the most Joie de vivre and therefore would provide a most pleasant trip. In fact, guys, what do you say?

by **Army of GOD** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:52 pm

HARDY HAR HAR GUYS

short jokes? I thought we were bigger than this.

by **Funkyterrance** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:01 pm

Army of GOD wrote:HARDY HAR HAR GUYS

short jokes? I thought we were bigger than this.

I've never thought any short jokes about you were very funny tbh, AoG, because you obviously don't have a complex about it and it therefore doesn't seem to bother you much. What's the fun in that?

by **nietzsche** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:10 pm

Army of GOD wrote:HARDY HAR HAR GUYS

short jokes? I thought we were bigger than this.

god damn it guys, you got him upset, and now I have to calm him down..

by **nietzsche** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:11 pm

Army of GOD wrote:-nietzche, but only because we're going through Mexico and he can hook us up with some Tiajuana whores.
-Lootifer because he probably has an absolutely hilarious New Zealand accent
-BBS because he and Lootifer can discuss economics during the night which will aid in my falling asleep

wait a second, I voted for Lootifer and he's only got 1 vote...

by **Army of GOD** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:14 pm

Don't you remember that I don't vote in polls...

by **Funkyterrance** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:15 pm

Muahhahah. I wonder if nietzsche realizes how much of an advantage I have not having foed him but him foeing me?

by **Neoteny** on Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:19 pm

My first short AoG joke:

Maugena and AoG because they could create an hilarious ventriloquist show to fund the trip, especially if Jones is writing.

by **BigBallinStalin** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:57 am

Bike with me if you want to live.

show

by **Funkyterrance** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:24 am

BigBallinStalin wrote:Bike with me if you want to live.

show

Although it might be an awkward moment if he got impatient when Player and I stopped to fix her flat and he goes off with his "She's your baggage, you fall behind, you're on your own" schpeel. Total joykill, that one.

by **BigBallinStalin** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:06 am

Funkyterrance wrote:
BigBallinStalin wrote:Bike with me if you want to live.

show

Although it might be an awkward moment if he got impatient when Player and I stopped to fix her flat and he goes off with his "She's your baggage, you fall behind, you're on your own" schpeel. Total joykill, that one.

Nah! I'd be there to... "pump YOU up."

by **Ray Rider** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:14 am

Definitely TGD, BBS, and Symmetry. The discussions along the way would be awesome, even in spite of the sparks between BBS and Sym. Other great options would be Player or nietzsche to learn more about others opposing viewpoints; AOG and Saxi for comedic relief; or BVP to learn about foreign countries.

by / on Wed Oct 17, 2012 4:27 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:I voted Jones, Player, and /. These three are by far the least pessimistic of the choices and if I am going to be spending that much time with someone I want there to be as little "debbie downer" atmosphere as possible. I can also envision us all having quite a bit of fun chatting and pointing out landmarks, wildlife and the like. I love cycling myself and I have found that pessimists are no fun on bike rides. The aforementioned seem to me to have the most Joie de vivre and therefore would provide a most pleasant trip. In fact, guys, what do you say?

I don't know how to ride a bicycle, you'd have to steady me for a few miles.

by **Funkyterrance** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:57 pm

/ wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I voted Jones, Player, and /. These three are by far the least pessimistic of the choices and if I am going to be spending that much time with someone I want there to be as little "debbie downer" atmosphere as possible. I can also envision us all having quite a bit of fun chatting and pointing out landmarks, wildlife and the like. I love cycling myself and I have found that pessimists are no fun on bike rides. The aforementioned seem to me to have the most Joie de vivre and therefore would provide a most pleasant trip. In fact, guys, what do you say?

I don't know how to ride a bicycle, you'd have to steady me for a few miles.

Really? Well, I doubt it would be very hard for an adult to learn. There's also bicycles built for two; Arnold could easily pull your weight until you got the hang of it and picked up a bike of your own.

by **notyou2** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:25 pm

Neoteny, 2dimes, and thegreekdog. It would be a party from Alaska to Chile and we have a lawyer to get us out of trouble.

I hope one of them speaks spanish.

by **2dimes** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:19 pm

Porfavor Seniorita, Quatros Burrito, Cinco Dose Ekeys! One of you single guys can offer her the extra beverage.

by **maxfaraday** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:21 pm

notyou2 wrote:Neoteny, 2dimes, and thegreekdog. It would be a party from Alaska to Chile and we have a lawyer to get us out of trouble.

I hope one of them speaks spanish.

TGD doesn't ride bikes, actually he hates cyclists.

by **notyou2** on Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:23 pm

maxfaraday wrote:
notyou2 wrote:Neoteny, 2dimes, and thegreekdog. It would be a party from Alaska to Chile and we have a lawyer to get us out of trouble.

I hope one of them speaks spanish.

TGD doesn't ride bikes, actually he hates cyclists.

He will be in one of those carts they pull kids in, with the beer cooler.

by **thegreekdog** on Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:55 pm

notyou2 wrote:
maxfaraday wrote:
notyou2 wrote:Neoteny, 2dimes, and thegreekdog. It would be a party from Alaska to Chile and we have a lawyer to get us out of trouble.

I hope one of them speaks spanish.

TGD doesn't ride bikes, actually he hates cyclists.

He will be in one of those carts they pull kids in, with the beer cooler.

I can ride a bike. I do hate cyclists, but only the vast majority of them who choose to disobey laws and not share the road.

* thegreekdog is not licensed to practice law in any state in which the cycling event is to take place. Additionally, thegreekdog is not licensed to practice law in Mexico or any other foreign jurisdiction.

** thegreekdog charges between $400 and $500 an hour depending upon the relative difficulty of the issues. Please refer to subparagraph 19, clause iv for further details.