the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

[sportsdd2]

well this is no longer the longest thread but that doesnt mean it still isnt the koolest longest thread

[sheepofdumb]

Well if you hurry you can out post Spamalot. I was away for an hour and it seemed the posting over there died down instead of here .

[GreecePwns]

well you're now only 17 posts behind...

[debra79]

but who's really counting, right?

[GreecePwns]

well i am...miscounting now its 11

[unriggable]

*thump*

[Colaalone]

[unriggable]

YAY knockers

[Sunstripe]

[unriggable]

Soft Bouncy Boobs in 3 Fruity Flavors? That's what SHE said!

[lduke1990]

I could swear that half the people on this thread collaborate on what is posted

[unriggable]

4 June 2007

Alabama -- After months of debating amongst themselves, Alabama state representatives have finally agreed to require geology teachers to teach "Paul Bunyan Theory" as an alternative to the scientific explanation for formations such as canyons and mountains.

The controversy all started with one mother, by the name of Christine Nightingale. "Ya see, my precious little daughter came home to me one day and said to me, 'momma, my science teacher told me that lakes were made by holes left by glaciers, and mountains were made by Tectonic Plates, and the Grand Canyon was made by erosion!' I was outraged when my sweet little daughter told me this. Them science teachers was filling up her sweet little head with outright lies! I believe in Paul Bunyan, and so did my mother before me and my grandmother before her. Why should my daughter believe any different?"
A traumatized child who has just been told by her science teacher that Paul Bunyan in fact did not create mountains and canyons.
A traumatized child who has just been told by her science teacher that Paul Bunyan in fact did not create mountains and canyons.

So Mrs. Nightingale set out on a mission to make the teaching of Paul Bunyan stories in schools mandatory. "I don't care how much evidence them scientists have!" she said when presented with several hundred textbooks describing in detail the processes of erosion and plate tectonics, "All that evidence is FAKE! All that matters to me is that they are wrong, and I am right!" She tried to get it mandated in a school in her home town, but she was turned down.

So, she got some of her other traditionalist friends together and they decided that in order to get the Paul Bunyan stories acknowledged in schools, they would first have to make Bunyanism into a legitimate science. "We all KNOW it was Paul Bunyan's footprints that made all the lakes in Missouri, and it was Paul Bunyan dragging his axe that made the grand canyon, and it was Paul and his Ox, Babe, piling up rocks trying to put out their campfires that made the mountains. We just KNOW it's true! But we have to make it into a scientific theory now!" So she and her friends, after as night of heavy discussion, came out with "Paul Bunyan Theory."

The theory states that "The natural features such as mountains and rivers are too big to have been made by nature, and were instead created by some large, intelligent, lumberjack-like being." The theory almost instantaneously came under fire from all three of Alabama's scientists. "There is nothing scientific about this!" says a representative of the Alabama science institute (a building roughly the size of a janitor's closet), "This is just a fancier way of saying, 'we refuse to accept science because our parents told us that Paul Bunyan made everything.'" Miss Nightingale and her colleagues have asserted that "We don't specifically SAY it was Paul Bunyan who did it, we just say it was an intelligent, lumberjack like being!" Scientists argued back that there are very few other large lumberjacks other than Paul Bunyan, and they also made the rather obvious point that the theory is obviously referring to Paul Bunyan, because Bunyan is in the theory's name.

Despite scientific objections, people rallied around the theory and started demanding that it be taught in schools as an alternative theory to popular geology. After several days of debate, Alabama state government officials agreed that the theory should be taught in all schools. Today, all teachers in the state are required to spend the same amount of class time on geology as they spend on Paul Bunyan theory. President Bush has expressed his support for Paul Bunyan theory, saying "I only support science that is in tune with my own point of view. This here is a theory that is truly in-touch with American values, and therefore I support it 100% and plan to make it mandatory for all schools across the nation." The REAL Paul Bunyan, an obese man who now lives in Ontario, Canada with his blue gerbil named Babe, has not yet commented on these proceedings.

[strike wolf]

tomorrow's my birthday...what are you going to give me? lol

Happy birthday! All I can give you is hope that this thread's goal will one day be achieved.

[strike wolf]

I could swear that half the people on this thread collaborate on what is posted

No, it's all random. There is no plan for what is to be posted on this thread.

[areyouincahoots]

whoa, get off your defensive high horse!

have you forgotten the point of this thread? our convos serve to lengthen this, our dear longest thread, thread. I guess you wouldn't know, so you wouldn't understand,

I'm well aware of the purpose of this thread, but thanks for attempting to enlighten me. I was in fact attempting to have a conversation when you felt the need to stipulate who the question was intended for. Are you always this conceited and rude or is it just when you feel threatened by another female presence on your "territory"?

I'm "conceited and rude" because I can be...don't worry...your presence doesn't threaten me...I just don't give a f***.

Anyway...tomorrow/today is going to be great bc I'll be seeing Godsmack, 3 Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Puddle of Mudd, Skillet, and Red in concert...should be a blast.

[AK_iceman]

Cool, happy birthday hoots.
Maybe I'll send you a little present...

I saw Godsmack in Anchorage 5 years ago, pretty awesome indeed!

[reverend_kyle]

all the other bands suck but godsmack is good.


johnny and I will be sending extra nudie pics for your birthday cahoots.

[Dariune]

Morning all

I see i didnt miss much.

Happy birthday cahoots, have fun at the gig.

Im planning on having a quiet one with the Mrs tonight. But tomorrow is a whole day for me to get up to no good. Anything could occur

Edit: i cant spell to save my life

[strike wolf]

Concerts are always good. I went to see Alice in Chains when they came to Atlanta back in October. It was awesome the new singer was good and they made a video highlighting the original singers life while they were getting the stage set up for the second part of the concert.

[unriggable]

Dang I'm going to my first concert in July.

[strike wolf]

That sucks that you haven't been to one before but then again it kinda sucks that I haven't been to one since October 2006.

[Dariune]

My last gig was Simon & Garfunkle. They were surprisingly good.

Befoe that i went to see Deftones. Now that was just awsome!!!

[strike wolf]

Really? Simon&garfunkle?

[Dariune]

Yeah im a bit of a fan to be honest.
You wouldnt think it from a rock lover but there ya go.

Edit: Hold on, what am i talking about. I meant Paul Simon playing Simon & Garfunkle songs.
Thats what you get for typing while on the phone to a client.

[strike wolf]

That's why it struck me as odd.