Limericks - add one line

[duday53]

I barfed on the floor(3)

[unriggable]

But went back for more

[dominationnation]

It really was a nasty little trick

1) There once was a guy who ate a pie

[jnd94]

he really thought he could fly (2)

[n8freeman]

so he jumped off a cliff (3)

[dominationnation]

his thing went all sitff

[dwightschrute]

it was all a big myth

[jnd94]

it was all a big myth

you dont know anything about limericks but.....

and now all he does is cry (5)

[jnd94]

A cat once jumped on my roof (1)

[CrazyAnglican]

It was funny, he looked so aloof (2)

[pancakemix]

He fell off the side. (3)

[jnd94]

as he was going to hitch a ride (4)

[Guilty_Biscuit]

but ended up breaking his tooth (5)


Whenever I think I'm alone (1)

[DAZMCFC]

(2) i sometimes play with my bone

[Guilty_Biscuit]

It's a whole lot of fun (3)

[DAZMCFC]

when your ready to cum (4)

[Guilty_Biscuit]

then you let out your load with a moan! (5)


I always make sure I can see (1)

[DAZMCFC]

what i am doing, when having a pee (2)

[Guilty_Biscuit]

'Cause if your eye's closed

[alex_white101]

ill stab you in the face

[Guilty_Biscuit]

Interupt for best of post - I'm sure CC could publish some of these...

In war you should always be wary,
and Asia can often be hairy,
The slightest mistake
Will get your arse raped
by the stache, which is really quite scary

When eating a vindaloo curry
Get to the bathroom in a hurry
When the rumble begins
I blush at the grins
Before expelling gallons of slurry

The trouble with snorting cocaine,
Is the effect it has on your brain,
When you do a big line,
your teeth start to grind
And your ego drives others insane

Once, I was pulled over by cops
Drunk, on moonshine and hops
When I got out of the car
I knew I smelled like the bar
So I'm looking at 18 months tops.

Last night i woke up in the park
to the sound of a big dog's bark
Piss stain on my pants
Singing drunk rants
Alone again in the dark

Left alone at night is scary
just grabbed by something thats hairy
I flipped on the light
To push away my fright
And there stood General Galtieri

If you're sailing across the Pacific
You must be utterly specific
because if you miss it
you will end up in the shit
And the consequences can be horrific

I took a piss into the wind
'cos Caleb told me I'd sinned
I replied "Bugger that!",
And I called him a twat
and took all his cash to spend

When I was arm wrestling the queen [1]
I ended up splitting my spleen(2)
I fell to the floor,
Screamed "Oh, you're a whore!"
"Here's fifty quid", if you know what I mean.

When cooking for your husband or wife
Quietly slit their throat with a knife
Add salt and stir
think you'll concur
The end to all of your strife

Be careful when eating a pear
cus there might be some pubic hair
The fuzz down below
Might make someone go "No!"
But then again, this is quite rare.

once knew a lady from France
who danced in the streets with no pants
All the locals would stare
at her tiny little pair
and her nipples were the size of small ants

there once was a woman from poole
who paraded her assets at school
oh what a fine pair she had
she inherited them from her dad
They made all of us stare and drool

There once was a stripper called Kelly
She liked to dance on the telly
she had a shaven crack
And a short stack
along with a big hairy belly

Ain't ne'er been to timbucktoo
But I've passed through Woolloomooloo
Where I met a strange man
who sold me a fan
That was made from the skin of a gnu

The first time I ever got drunk, [1]
Was right after making out with a skunk [2]
But later that night,
my ass clenched up tight
I knew I'd be regretting it soon

I was strolling in the park one day
When a pretty young thing passed by my way
I spanked her on the rear
Stuck my tongue in her ear
And my case comes up later today

The worst thing about being in prison
Is the amount of ingested jizm
I get shanked once a day
By a big burly gay
With a bountiful sense of rhythmn

[Dancing Mustard]

ill stab you in the face

Not so much, no...

Then you might slip on a toad (4)

[The1exile]

And then I might miss this on a tree

When taking my mind for a ride, (1)

[haoala]

to no laws do i abide, (2)

[Genghis Khant]

In fact it's more fun, [3]