CC: The NS, #22 - Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers

[Timminz]

I left it up longer than usual since there were only 2 votes by midday yesterday. Now we have a clear winner...

When you change the poll, we can't see the winner. Would you mind sharing.

On the new topic: fire lazy employees, persecute thieves, but please, leave my marry wanna alone.

[GreecePwns]

11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, all recreational drugs are legal.
23 hours ago: Conquer Club was reclassified from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Benevolent Dictatorship".

The Republic of Conquer Club is a small, economically powerful nation, notable for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 32 million enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Social Equality, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 18%. A robust private sector is led by the Retail, Basket Weaving, and Trout Farming industries.

The next issue will be up shortly.

[MeDeFe]

How's it going with the Uranium? What results has this had?

[Timminz]

And you still haven't told us what the result of the divorce issue was.

[GreecePwns]

3 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, all recreational drugs are legal.
4 days ago: Conquer Club was reclassified from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Benevolent Dictatorship".
4 days ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, same-sex marriages are increasingly common.


The next issue is about children gambling: Children as young as eight have been spotted gambling in some of Conquer Club's seedier casinos.
Social activist Roxanne Sanchez is outraged. "Gambling needs to be outlawed immediately. It's no wonder children are becoming sucked into the vice, with adults setting such a poor example. Gambling is a stain on Conquer Club's international reputation and it must be stopped!"

However, Crown Casino chairperson Roger Currency says, "What's wrong with children gambling? It prepares them for the realities of life, teaching them that success or failure is not due to hard work or intelligence, but the roll of the dice. Besides, if kids weren't gambling, they'd be spraypainting trains."

[Baron Von PWN]

What's with these ridiculous options? Why no middle ground option?

Let kids gamble.

[GreecePwns]

10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas.

The vote on child gambling has ended: we shall allow them to gamble. The next issue will be up shortly.


Conquer Club's TV soaps--famous around the region--have come under fire for their lack of ethnic diversity.

"Every night my family and I sit down to watch 'The Brash and the Backstabbing'," says Hillary Longfellow. "But where are the Lilliputians like myself? Where are the Bigtopians? The Marche Noirians? People from those cultures can be just as brash and backstabbing, but we never see them on the screen. The government must act to remove this silent apartheid from our TV screens."

"Those Lilliputians don't know how good they have it," says Don Here, spokesperson for the Tasmanians Against Ethnic Stereotyping. "Tasmanians are on television all the time, but always in crude, stereotypical roles. The answer is not to enforce ethnic quotas, but to award government prizes for the positive portrayal of minorities. That'll work better, and be cheaper, too."

"The government should do what now?" says TV studio executive Billy Obama. "You've got to be kidding. We make soaps here, not documentaries. I should be able to put whichever characters I want into my shows. Quotas! Government prizes! God save me! Hasn't the government got anything better to do? Why don't they just back off and let society work out these things on its own?"

[Ray Rider]

What's with these ridiculous options? Why no middle ground option?

When Greecepwns first mentioned this website at the beginning of this thread, I started a new nationstate and it was fun for a while. However the options seem to become increasingly ludicrous to the point of it being rather idiotic, so I've abdicated the throne.

[GreecePwns]

Well in the actual game you don't have to make a decision (I thought it wouldn't be fun that way so I removed that for our polls).

After further looking at the game, there is no foreign policy or war; the game was meant to be role-played on the site's forum. Nevertheless, I thought that these decisions would be fun considering the fact that political discussions dominate these boards.

The next issue will be up shortly; we have decided to not do anything about getting more minorities on TV.

[GreecePwns]

It's time for the government to hire a new religious advisor. Your people have narrowed down the candidates to:

The Debate

Catholic Archbishop Maria Shiomi: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.

New Age thinker Cooper Nagasawa: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."

Finally, there's Thomas Li. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."

[GreecePwns]

Following new legislation in Conquer Club, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
Following new legislation in Conquer Club, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.

We have chosen to appoint the atheist as a spiritual advisor. The next issue will be up shortly:


After a series of bloody wars between the nations of Maxtopia and North Bigtopia, fights have broken out in the streets between immigrants in Conquer Club who came from the warring nations.

"Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances," begins Buy al-Zahawi, whose opinions form the book '101 Arguments FOR Slavery'. "What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Conquer Club folks slaves! I mean, who in Conquer Club wouldn't like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!"

"I am shocked and appalled at what my colleague is suggesting!" exclaims Clint Christensen, President of the Civil Rights Union of Conquer Club. "Slavery? We should punish these offenders, yes, but send them to rehabilitation centres instead! As for the ethnic squabbles, programs in school should begin to stop these racist attitudes in childhood! All it will take is some slight fortification to the education budget!"

A quiet old man stands up to speak. "Now, I may be a quiet old man, but I believe that these ethnic disputes are none of the government's business. It's not our war anyway, so it's not our problem. I'm sure if you leave it alone, it'll work itself out. Just think of the money that would be saved if the police don't have to be paid to deal with this!"

"It's not our war? It's not our war?" cries (in)famous Conquer Club-born fascist Ryan Rikkard. "Well maybe it's time it became our war! Conquer Club should take a more active, and by 'active' I mean 'hostile', role in international politics! This ethnic squabbling will be over when the war is over, and WE can end that war and purge the impure! Insert Motto Here! Sieg Conquer Club!"

[MeDeFe]

The choice is quite easy. Just think about it.

We can have slaves!

[Baron Von PWN]

Why enslave people when we can enslave nations? Think about it.

[GreecePwns]

22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, the government is avowedly atheist.
We have chosen to go to war! The next issue will be up shortly.

Recent reports revealing that the dental health of Conquer Club is far below the regional average have ignited a fierce debate over whether to introduce fluoride to the nation's tap water reserves.

"Fluoride has been shown time and time again to promote dental health," argues Dr. Edwin Namel, Chairman of 'Friends of The Teeth'. "It's not an experimental drug for heaven's sake, it's an accepted method of promoting national good health. A nationwide program for the fluoridation of drinking water should not be seen as optional - it's a no-brainer for any sensible government. We need to implement this now, whether the public want it or not."

"I am strongly against this proposal!" rages Pete Rikkard, one of the more vociferous members of the Conquer Club Green Society. "When I turn on the water tap I expect to get just that. Water. Nothing else. We are not lab rats and it is not the government's place to force us into taking these chemicals! In fact I reckon we should put the brakes on all these new chemicals doctors keep pumping into people and give us the right to say no!"

"There's no need to go to either extreme," says Randy Levy, your personal dentist. "It's all about, um, choice. Here's a nice alternative: why not just have clean non-fluorinated drinking water and give more funds to dentists? If we had enough money, we could make all dental care absolutely free! It will be demanding on the taxpayers I know, but they'll surely be happy when they all have sparkling white teeth!"

[Baron Von PWN]

All great nations should have free dental care. How else will other countries know our superiority than our perfect pearly white smiles!?

[Maugena]

22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, the government is avowedly atheist.
We have chosen to go to war! The next issue will be up shortly.

Recent reports revealing that the dental health of Conquer Club is far below the regional average have ignited a fierce debate over whether to introduce fluoride to the nation's tap water reserves.

"Fluoride has been shown time and time again to promote dental health," argues Dr. Edwin Namel, Chairman of 'Friends of The Teeth'. "It's not an experimental drug for heaven's sake, it's an accepted method of promoting national good health. A nationwide program for the fluoridation of drinking water should not be seen as optional - it's a no-brainer for any sensible government. We need to implement this now, whether the public want it or not."

"I am strongly against this proposal!" rages Pete Rikkard, one of the more vociferous members of the Conquer Club Green Society. "When I turn on the water tap I expect to get just that. Water. Nothing else. We are not lab rats and it is not the government's place to force us into taking these chemicals! In fact I reckon we should put the brakes on all these new chemicals doctors keep pumping into people and give us the right to say no!"

"There's no need to go to either extreme," says Randy Levy, your personal dentist. "It's all about, um, choice. Here's a nice alternative: why not just have clean non-fluorinated drinking water and give more funds to dentists? If we had enough money, we could make all dental care absolutely free! It will be demanding on the taxpayers I know, but they'll surely be happy when they all have sparkling white teeth!"

/ot

Oh Phil Ken Sebben...

[DoomYoshi]

Since we are a benevolent dictatorship, perhaps our dictator should have an inordinate number of votes. I am pretty displeased with the way decisions are being handled. Free dental care is awful.

[xeno]

I heard something the other day about chemicals in birth control showing up in our water supply turning men gay. Can anyone confirm?

[GreecePwns]

3 hours ago: Conquer Club was reclassified from "Benevolent Dictatorship" to "Compulsory Consumerist State".
3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, a massive campaign is underway to ensure the race of Conquer Club remains pure.

I will end this issue before midnight tonight. Get your votes in!

The Republic of Conquer Club is a large, economically powerful nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 68 million are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Commerce. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Retail, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports industries.

[ManBungalow]

Cool.

[DoomYoshi]

I heard something the other day about chemicals in birth control showing up in our water supply turning men gay. Can anyone confirm?

Don't be thilly, hot stuff.

[natty dread]

When I turn on the water tap I expect to get just that. Water. Nothing else.

This argument has always seemed funny and ignorant to me, it's like people think "water" is just "water"... when actually, unless you get distilled water from a pharmacy, your water is full of all kinds of things even without fluorination... there's bacteria, electrolytes, etc. There's also chlorine to keep the bacterial growth in check. You know, so people won't die of dysentery.

[MeDeFe]

When I turn on the water tap I expect to get just that. Water. Nothing else.

This argument has always seemed funny and ignorant to me, it's like people think "water" is just "water"... when actually, unless you get distilled water from a pharmacy, your water is full of all kinds of things even without fluorination... there's bacteria, electrolytes, etc. There's also chlorine to keep the bacterial growth in check. You know, so people won't die of dysentery.

Don't you use your fancy scientific facts to muddle the issue!

[GreecePwns]

11 hours ago: Conquer Club was reclassified from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Benevolent Dictatorship".
11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Conquer Club, the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape.

The next issue will be put up shortly.

[Symmetry]

1 month ago, GreecePwns misspelled fluoride, misunderstood fluoride, then spent a month trying to explain to everyone why he was right about a substance he can't even spell.