by patches70 on Tue May 19, 2015 2:12 am
This last episode was probably one of the worst of the season, and that's saying something because all the episodes have sucked balls so far.
For instance, for almost the first twenty minutes of the episode we see Arya washing corpses, sweeping floors, stupid exposition about her journey so far (as if we haven't watched the show over the years) and to finally get a chance to see her do or experience something new all she had to do was trick a little girl into committing suicide. Sheesh, like it so hard or something to trick a little kid. Not only that, but even the little kid would know what the House of Black and White is. Jeez.
I had so been looking forward to Arya's storyline this season but HBO has completely fucked it up, badly. Its over half the season gone and all we've seen of Arya is her sweeping the floor. OMFG, WTF?
We get a very brief glimpse of Tyrion and Jorah for a moment before they switch back over to Arya sweeping the floor again. They they get captured and made slaves, ok, sucks when that happens but yeah, I can dig it. Except, Tyrion convinces the slavers to spare his life until they find a "cock dealer". WTF? <facepalm> I groan aloud.
Then we get Lancel and Littlefinger. Littlefinger who runs whore houses and insults the Faith and Lancel does...nothing? The logic of the Sparrows is all over the place.
Then Littlefinger brings news to Cersi that Sansa is alive and well in Wintefell and is getting married to Ramsay. Ok, now Cersi is a dumb cunt, true enough, but are the Lannisters that lacking in an intelligence network that they didn't already know this before Littlefinger shows up? Everyone in the North knows about the wedding, no one from the inn or Winterfell didn't send news to King's Landing? No maester in the north sent news to Old town who would then send news to Pycelle who would tell Cersi? Are you kidding me?
Ugh!
Then there is Littlefinger's plan, that he'll rally the Vale if Cersi makes him Warden of the North. Of course, in Season one if we remember, Cersi gave a nice speech to Jeoffrey about how the north would never accept a foreign ruler. Whatever, I guess Littlefinger wants to get his throat cut, maybe that's his ultimate plan.
Then we have Dorne, where does one begin picking about that turd of a scene in the water garden. Jamie and Bronn stroll into Sunspear, right into the Water garden (problematic enough that is, but whatever) at the exact same time that the Sand Snakes are kidnapping Marcella. Hijinks!
The Sand snakes seem to find it prudent to cover their faces. As if anyone would wonder for a second who it was had they succeeded. Three well armed women kidnapped Marcella. Gee, I wonder who could have done it? people would ask and scratch their heads. Not. The best thing about that scene is when Bronn says "Oh for f*ck's sake". You know, Bronn, that's exactly what I was thinking about that scene. Leave it to Bronn to voice what the viewer is thinking. For f*ck's sake.
The fight scene was comical.
Then there's Obara, "I am Obara Sand! Yada yada yada she says to the Captain of the Guard who is like "Duh! We've met before, plenty of times. I'm the Captain of your family guard." OMG, how stupid that scene was. Then Bronn has to smart mouth "you fight pretty good for a girl" which causes Obara to go ballistic. I guess Bronn reminded her of the ribbing she used to get back in elementary school. <facepalm>
We had the trial of Loras where the main point of evidence upon which all the charges against him is a birth mark high on Loras' thigh. His gay lover knows about the birth mark so that must prove beyond all doubt that Loras is a homo. Except, Loras is a high born. He's had people dressing and bathing him his whole life. Also, the gay lover was Loras' squire, in charge of putting on Loras' armor including the tasset and the cuisse which protects a knight's nut sack, so its a pretty good bet that a squire gets a good look at his knight's junk.
Then when Margery is taken into custody the King's Guard begin to draw their swords to defend her except they stop for some reason. No one told them not to intervene, or maybe they need orders to slaughter anyone who is about to lay their hands on the Queen without her consent? I dunno. Margery is under King's Guard protection, they should have slaughtered the shit out of the Sparrows the instant they tried to take her. But whatever.
And of course the last scene, Sansa. Its not like we all didn't see this coming. Afterall, in the books what Ramsay does to Jeyne Poole is a whole lot worse and Sansa has taken over Poole's role from the books in the show. But what really gets my goat about that scene is Theon's reaction. Theon's expression when Sansa is getting violated sums up the viewer's feelings about the whole episode. But apparently in that scene Theon is witnessing something horrible and he can't stand it. Theon, the guy who murdered and tarred a couple of innocent children, watched (and felt) as he himself was flayed and had his dick cut off, I'd guess that whatever he was seeing Ramsey doing to Sansa is pretty far down on the list of horrible things Theon has seen (and done!).
Every single episode this season has been like this one, filled up with complete bullshit that makes no logical sense.
