Would you rather?

[whitestazn88]

Watch all the Twilight movies in their extended cuts along with all of the commentary and extras?

OR

Read all the Twilight books and their follow-up spin-off series 50 Shades of Grey?

Note, that in both scenarios, your eyelids will be either ripped off or held open by an "A Clockwork Orange" type apparatus and in the case of the reading, you will be forced to read aloud so that your captors know you're actually doing it.

[whitestazn88]

Receive thousands upon thousands of little cuts or pokes or punches that permanently disfigure your genitalia?

OR

Have your genitalia lopped off in one go.

In both scenarios: For gents, this means your penis, testes, scrotum, and anal sphincter just for good measure. And for females this means your breasts, their areola and nipples, your labia majora and minora, the vulva, clitoris and clitoral hood, vagina, cervix and anal sphincter just for good measure. Further, afterwards, there is no way of repairing said damage, going through a sex change, or replacing any damaged goods, what you have will just either hang there, completely disfigured, or be completely non-existent.

[whitestazn88]

Eat a family member, piece by piece, while they are kept alive as long as possible watching you do so.

OR

Watch as your family member is forced to eat you piece by piece, while you are kept alive as long as possible doing so.

In both scenarios: You are being coerced to do so by some outside presence. There can be no refusal for either case, as you or your family member will instead be force fed ala a foie gras goose. You will be kept alive with extensive tourniquetting as well as adrenaline shots and your eyelids will be removed first so you are forced into watching.

[whitestazn88]

Get into a fistfight with a bear?

OR

Be thrown into a cage full of rabid chimps?

You are granted weapons in neither scenario, and both cases put you into a preallotted amount of space, such as a football field arena or some shit like that. I can't be assed into coming up with all the details.

[Ace Rimmer]

Receive thousands upon thousands of little cuts or pokes or punches that permanently disfigure your genitalia?

OR

Have your genitalia lopped off in one go.

In both scenarios: For gents, this means your penis, testes, scrotum, and anal sphincter just for good measure. And for females this means your breasts, their areola and nipples, your labia majora and minora, the vulva, clitoris and clitoral hood, vagina, cervix and anal sphincter just for good measure. Further, afterwards, there is no way of repairing said damage, going through a sex change, or replacing any damaged goods, what you have will just either hang there, completely disfigured, or be completely non-existent.

Breasts, areola, and nipples are not genitalia. If you chop them off the woman, you should chop them off the man too.

[oVo]

I'd rather eat green eggs and ham.

Also didn't realize 50 Shades of Grey had any connection to the Twilight sagas.

[Army of GOD]

Watch all the Twilight movies in their extended cuts along with all of the commentary and extras?

OR

Read all the Twilight books and their follow-up spin-off series 50 Shades of Grey?

Note, that in both scenarios, your eyelids will be either ripped off or held open by an "A Clockwork Orange" type apparatus and in the case of the reading, you will be forced to read aloud so that your captors know you're actually doing it.

watch the movie, because maybe I can jerk off during them

[whitestazn88]

Receive thousands upon thousands of little cuts or pokes or punches that permanently disfigure your genitalia?

OR

Have your genitalia lopped off in one go.

In both scenarios: For gents, this means your penis, testes, scrotum, and anal sphincter just for good measure. And for females this means your breasts, their areola and nipples, your labia majora and minora, the vulva, clitoris and clitoral hood, vagina, cervix and anal sphincter just for good measure. Further, afterwards, there is no way of repairing said damage, going through a sex change, or replacing any damaged goods, what you have will just either hang there, completely disfigured, or be completely non-existent.

Breasts, areola, and nipples are not genitalia. If you chop them off the woman, you should chop them off the man too.

Fair point. Men's breast areola and nipples will also be removed!

[Slavivlad]

Receive thousands upon thousands of little cuts or pokes or punches that permanently disfigure your genitalia?

OR

Have your genitalia lopped off in one go.

In both scenarios: For gents, this means your penis, testes, scrotum, and anal sphincter just for good measure. And for females this means your breasts, their areola and nipples, your labia majora and minora, the vulva, clitoris and clitoral hood, vagina, cervix and anal sphincter just for good measure. Further, afterwards, there is no way of repairing said damage, going through a sex change, or replacing any damaged goods, what you have will just either hang there, completely disfigured, or be completely non-existent.

Lop in one go.