Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

[pimpdave]

As we all know, there is a new threat to American society: Roving Child Punching Gangs. They are being formed in compliance with a Holy Decree issued by a Christian Church Leader.

I'm starting a poll with some options for how best to defend ourselves against these Roving Child Punching Gangs but please feel free to throw out ideas of your own. This should also be an open brainstorming session.

[Neoteny]

Give everyone two guns!

[Neoteny]

Three guns!

Ah ah ah...

[saxitoxin]

As we all know, there is a new threat to American society: Roving Child Punching Gangs. They are being formed in compliance with a Holy Decree issued by a Christian Church Leader.

I'm starting a poll with some options for how best to defend ourselves against these Roving Child Punching Gangs but please feel free to throw out ideas of your own. This should also be an open brainstorming session.

I've encountered roving child punching gangs, but they disperse pretty quick. I just invite them down into my basement to "show them something." From earliest childhood, kids in Santa Barbara are taught that, if Saxi invites you into his house, you are supposed to:

1. Yell "NO!"
2. Run Away
3. Tell a Responsible Adult

So I've never had much of a prob with them.

[BigBallinStalin]

Roving Child Punching Gangs are apparently terrorizing children into accepting a certain way of life. Clearly, this is terrorism; therefore, the FBI and CIA must devote massive resources to combating these domestic terrorist cells of baby punchers.

[pimpdave]

Guys, who voted to ban Christianity? I disagree with that. I think that would violate the First Amendment.

[Juan_Bottom]

BAN THE FIRST AMENDMENT!

[pimpdave]

Roving Child Punching Gangs are apparently terrorizing children into accepting a certain way of life. Clearly, this is terrorism; therefore, the FBI and CIA must devote massive resources to combating these domestic terrorist cells of baby punchers.

That's interesting. Certainly the Department of Homeland Security should be made aware of this growing threat to our beloved Republic, but I'm not sure increased Federal spending is the best idea. However, I'll add your suggestion to the poll.

[pimpdave]

Hey guys, I edited the poll to reflect BBS' idea and added another one that was PMed to me by someone who wants to remain anonymous, due to the bigotry against Muslims on this website.

[BigBallinStalin]

Excellent. It is only a matter of time until these baby-punchers are brought to justice.

[Timminz]

How am I the first person to vote?

[pimpdave]

How am I the first person to vote?

When I added new options to the poll, it unfortunately reset the initial votes.

[BGtheBrain]

*****

[Phatscotty]

How am I the first person to vote?

Cuz it's a buster poll.

Congrats!

[Frigidus]

I think we've established that any potential crime can be prevented by having a gun.

[BGtheBrain]

*****

[pimpdave]

BGtheBrain, I think you're confused, these children aren't doing the punching, but the one's being punched, by Christian adults, for some bullshit I don't remember, just watch the video in this thread to hear the Holy Decree:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=170172

[BGtheBrain]

*****

[pimpdave]

If the abused children who are being punched by parents shoot them, wouldn't that be dishonoring thy father or mother?

I guess no plan can be completely perfect, do you have any other ideas for how to defend America from this new violent threat?

[Baron Von PWN]

I suggest we nationalize all children.

By nationalizing them we can better put their energy to productive uses like running on giant hamster wheels to generate power. Since all children would now be chained to hamster wheels in order to provide power for our glorious nation, they would of course be protected from Christian RCPGs.

[Neoteny]

I suggest getting into the protective clothing market. Sell punch-resistant clothes and headgear. Protects kids from religious lunatics, and stimulates the economy!

[pimpdave]

I suggest getting into the protective clothing market. Sell punch-resistant clothes and headgear. Protects kids from religious lunatics, and stimulates the economy!

That might solve the problem of the physical wounds to the children from all of the punching, but does it address the emotional damage that will be done by having Christians punch them over and over all the time?

[Phatscotty]

I suggest we nationalize all children.

By nationalizing them we can better put their energy to productive uses like running on giant hamster wheels to generate power. Since all children would now be chained to hamster wheels in order to provide power for our glorious nation, they would of course be protected from Christian RCPGs.

We already have this. It's called the public education system, an education dedicated to the debt the children were born bearing.

[Baron Von PWN]

I suggest we nationalize all children.

By nationalizing them we can better put their energy to productive uses like running on giant hamster wheels to generate power. Since all children would now be chained to hamster wheels in order to provide power for our glorious nation, they would of course be protected from Christian RCPGs.

We already have this. It's called the public education system, an education dedicated to the debt the children were born bearing.

Hmm yes, you're quite right I remember being locked in a factory and chained to a giant hamster wheel in public school.

[BigBallinStalin]

I suggest we nationalize all children.

By nationalizing them we can better put their energy to productive uses like running on giant hamster wheels to generate power. Since all children would now be chained to hamster wheels in order to provide power for our glorious nation, they would of course be protected from Christian RCPGs.

We already have this. It's called the public education system, an education dedicated to the debt the children were born bearing.

Hmm yes, you're quite right I remember being locked in a factory and chained to a giant hamster wheel in public school.

Oh, but comrade, weren't those the days?