who would you shag?

by **heavycola** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:12 am

If you had to have sex with someone of the same sex - or the opposite sex, if you're gay - who would it be?

(You can be the giver or receiver, and your lovetoy can be anyone alive or dead and at any stage of their life. This means Paul Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof definitely counts.)

if this thread sinks I will report you all for being multi-accounting homophobes.

by **Snorri1234** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:12 am

Johnny Depp.

by **jiminski** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:36 am

Can we have some motivation:- knob coated in honey and eaten (off) by a spectacled bear or something..
i need this for my own carefully tailored libido. If i just blurt it out, like Snorri has, it would be admission of my own genuine, hidden desire to have sex with Peter Falk from Columbo..... oh... A curse on you, heavycola!!

by **heavycola** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:41 am

Snorri1234 wrote:Johnny Depp.

Which period, Snorri? 21 Jump St, Edward Scissorhands, Donnie Brasco, Sweeney Todd...?

Haha Jim your motivation is whatever you need it to be. You have to have sex with a dude, either because someone has a gun to your head or because honey and bears are involved. Whatever.

BTW is the Peter Falk thing just transference from when he reads Fred Savage the bedtime story in Princess Bride?

by **Snorri1234** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:44 am

heavycola wrote:
Snorri1234 wrote:Johnny Depp.

Which period, Snorri? 21 Jump St, Edward Scissorhands, Donnie Brasco, Sweeney Todd...?

In Chocolat.

by **pimpdave** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:47 am

Dick Cheney in his man sized safe.

by **Dancing Mustard** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:49 am

I'd probably bum Ahhhnold Schwarzenegger (note: with me as 'bumor', not 'bumee'), back when he was in his film-star prime.

For those who can stomach further details, I'd probably spend the entire session yelling out poor impersonations of some of his more memorable lines, and would signal my climax by howling "Who is your daddy and what does he do" at the top of my lungs.

It'd be awesome. He'd love it.

by **mandyb** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:56 am

What an odd yet revealing thread.
I guess I'd go for the more dominant type - Madonna probably. She'd be up for it I'm sure and since she has incredible energy reserves, she can do all the work.
I'd insist she not wear those pointy-boob things though; they don't turn me on at all.

by **The1exile** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:58 am

heavycola wrote:If you had to have sex with someone of the same sex - or the opposite sex, if you're gay - who would it be?

You bisexualophobe.

Oh, and I've always thought that for irony's sake it'd have to be a raging homophobe - I know at least one who'd fit the bill, but I don't think he'd appreciate me giving out his details, so, pass.

by **Dancing Mustard** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:13 pm

So Exile would bum Norse then?

Nice.

by **jonesthecurl** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:14 pm

On reflection, I think I'd have to be on the receiveing end because
(a) the gun would make me nervous, and
(b) I wouldn't get excited by the prospect if the gun weren't there.

Therefore I'd pick HeavyCola cos he's only got a little one and it wouldn't hurt too much.

by **heavycola** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:18 pm

The1exile wrote:
heavycola wrote:If you had to have sex with someone of the same sex - or the opposite sex, if you're gay - who would it be?

You bisexualophobe.

Oh, and I've always thought that for irony's sake it'd have to be a raging homophobe - I know at least one who'd fit the bill, but I don't think he'd appreciate me giving out his details, so, pass.

Bisexuals should be burned at the stake. Nice idea though - the malicious shag. What about Guy Ritchue? he hates gays, according to madonna's brother.

If forced, i would also go with Harrison Ford circa Episode IV. And i'd call him Han, and as i was riding him like an angry tomtom he would say, 'I love you', and I would reply, 'I know'. Then he'd make a noise like when that tuskan raider shakes his rifle above his head.

by **heavycola** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:20 pm

jonesthecurl wrote:On reflection, I think I'd have to be on the receiveing end because
(a) the gun would make me nervous, and
(b) I wouldn't get excited by the prospect if the gun weren't there.

Therefore I'd pick HeavyCola cos he's only got a little one and it wouldn't hurt too much.

Well that all works out perfectly cos you were my third choice.
I now feel a need to take a long and very hot shower. With a brillo pad.

by **sam_levi_11** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:28 pm

since im bi do i have to shag an animal lol?

by **jiminski** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:30 pm

heavycola wrote:..BTW is the Peter Falk thing just transference from when he reads Fred Savage the bedtime story in Princess Bride?

well to be completely frank it was more his humble, mock naivety camouflaging a keen analytical mind and unkempt superiority!.. Columbo always got his man!

by **jiminski** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:32 pm

sam_levi_11 wrote:since im bi do i have to shag an animal lol?

I would advise that you have to poke Danny De Vito, in his portrayal of the Penguin... or Barbara Streisand dressed as Yentil!

by **heavycola** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:34 pm

sam_levi_11 wrote:since im bi do i have to shag an animal lol?

yes, Sam. Name your beast.

by **comic boy** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:35 pm

I have a secret yearning for Bob from Blackadder 2 8-)

by **jonesthecurl** on Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:55 pm

heavycola wrote:
jonesthecurl wrote:On reflection, I think I'd have to be on the receiveing end because
(a) the gun would make me nervous, and
(b) I wouldn't get excited by the prospect if the gun weren't there.

Therefore I'd pick HeavyCola cos he's only got a little one and it wouldn't hurt too much.

Well that all works out perfectly cos you were my third choice.
I now feel a need to take a long and very hot shower. With a brillo pad.

Now that's eerie. 8-[