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Difference between Governments

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Difference between Governments

Postby krusher on Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:55 pm

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby RustyMonkey on Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:56 pm

liberalism: bad
GOP: good
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby hecter on Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:08 pm

This is the third of this topic... Here's the best of the three:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=29915
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby jonesthecurl on Sat Sep 27, 2008 11:37 pm

Bushism:
You have two cows. You pretend they're 73 cows. The bankers go golfing. You invent 71 cows and make the taxpayer buy them.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby brooksieb on Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:42 pm

Maoism: you have 2 cows, the state takes both and puts you in a workhouse.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Snorri1234 on Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:51 pm

krusher wrote:SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.


AMERICANISM: You shoot anyone who trespasses your domain.



f*ck this shit. Krusher, you're an idiot.
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Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Juan_Bottom on Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:49 pm

Sexism: Men are far superior at thinking and things that involve sweat.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby PLAYER57832 on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:40 pm

krusher wrote:SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.


Nope .. in unbridled capitalism, the strongest guy takes ALL the cows, hires a few friends to do some of the work, fence off the herd from the rest of the world (they are, after all only laxy bums)... and laughs as the rest starve.

IN socialist capitalism, you have a cow. You sell some milk to one neighbor and manure to another. You get back vegetables, cheese and eggs. You give some to the elderly, the sick, etc. When you grow old, you get some in return. And when the guy with the big stick comes along and tries to take your cow ... your neighbors all help you fight him off, as you would for them.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby pancakemix on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:53 pm

OBVIOUSISM: You have 2 cows.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby mpjh on Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:56 pm

PLAYER57832 wrote:
krusher wrote:SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.


Nope .. in unbridled capitalism, the strongest guy takes ALL the cows, hires a few friends to do some of the work, fence off the herd from the rest of the world (they are, after all only laxy bums)... and laughs as the rest starve.

IN socialist capitalism, you have a cow. You sell some milk to one neighbor and manure to another. You get back vegetables, cheese and eggs. You give some to the elderly, the sick, etc. When you grow old, you get some in return. And when the guy with the big stick comes along and tries to take your cow ... your neighbors all help you fight him off, as you would for them.



yes
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby muy_thaiguy on Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:00 pm

STALINISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and tells you it's for the greater good in return. You voice against it and then are shot.

CCISM:You have 2 cows. You turn in a mixed set in escalating and end up with 100 cows. You lose 99 cows to 1 in Kamchatka. You get banned for complaining.
"Eh, whatever."
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Iliad on Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:07 pm

muy_thaiguy wrote:STALINISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and tells you it's for the greater good in return. You voice against it and then are shot.

CCISM:You have 2 cows. You turn in a mixed set in escalating and end up with 100 cows. You lose 99 cows to 1 in Kamchatka. You get banned for complaining.

CCism: AFter you're banned you keep creating multi after multi. You take 2 cows of each other multi you have and you end up with a 100. The hunters catch up with you but you keep creating multis and you become a forum hero.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby jonesthecurl on Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:43 am

CCism: you have tow cwos. The grammar and spelling nazis mug you.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby mpjh on Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:45 am

Have you been dipping into the anti-serum again?
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Snorri1234 on Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:46 am

Traditional Capitalism: Most people only have one cow. Bulls are too expensive.
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Juan_Bottom on Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:54 am

CC Capitalism:
You all paid for this site.

But you don't actually matter.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Snorri1234 on Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:19 am

Hey, I didn't pay!
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Ntetos on Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:13 am

Hinduism: You have two cows. You worship them.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby InkL0sed on Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:56 am

My thread was better :(
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby muy_thaiguy on Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:57 am

InkL0sed wrote:My thread was better :(

Nu uh.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby brooksieb on Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:08 am

Colonialism: You steal 2 cows off of Africa
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Frigidus on Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:27 pm

American Capitalism: A cow farmer has one hundred cows. He lends out those one hundred cows to those with none, but demands that on their return he receives two hundred cows. The one hundred cows are slaughtered for steak. Now nobody has any cows, and everyone's hungry. It's decided that everyone will give the farmer some of their land so that he might raise more cows. Nobody seems to notice that this guy's track record with cows is a poor one.
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Re: Difference between Governments

Postby Jenos Ridan on Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:28 pm

Frigidus wrote:American Capitalism: A cow farmer has one hundred cows. He lends out those one hundred cows to those with none, but demands that on their return he receives two hundred cows. The one hundred cows are slaughtered for steak. Now nobody has any cows, and everyone's hungry. It's decided that everyone will give the farmer some of their land so that he might raise more cows. Nobody seems to notice that this guy's track record with cows is a poor one.


The way things really are, or at least ought to be: The farmer finds the moron who chopped up his milk cows, which were on loan, for beef, which is not what they are bred for at all, and sues the ever-loving crap out of him. No one ever does business with that person ever again and so he goes bankrupt. The farmer either invests in cows again or changes his strategy to something else.

of course, this assumes someone with a fully functional mind, and no desire to remain in diapers
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