Biscuit Conspiracy

[heavycola]

I want to eat a cream tea now.

[Neoteny]

It all looks tasty. Except for the gravy (both the semen and non-semen varieties: not a big fan). A cookie is a biscuit is a scone. It's all the same in my belly. Although I have a special place in the lump of cholesterol I call my heart for Egg McMuffins... I can almost smell the grease now...



Of course, it never looks that good in real life, but it always tastes like three heart attacks.

[HungrySomali]

No wonder you Brits are known for your bad dental hygine, you call your cookies biscuits. Biscuits are to be eaten only with scrambled eggs inside them or smothered with sausage gravy.

Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit


Sausage Gravy and Biscuit

Cookie

Is that like a scone? With bacon and egg?

And why does your gravy look like semen?

You call us weird?

Say it with me Guis, bis-cuit. And I don't think that gravy is homemade, doesn't have sausage or pepper in it.

And yes, we call you weird. I mean, the country where the great British Empire began can't even really call itself a country anymore (England).

Gravy:

-Note the property of not being semen.

Biscuits:

-Note these are of the chocolate digestive variety, made by popular brand Mc Vitie's.

Scones:

-Note the jam and cream filling. Some may not use the top half, or just spread with butter. Furthermore, note the lack of eggs, bacon, gravy etc.

Your gravy is of the beef vareity, hence the non-semen shade of umber. Breakfast gravy is unaltered flour and cream with chunks of sausage which dont lend any pigment to the gravy, hence the semen-like quality.

Your biscuit is still a cookie to me. Its sweet man, biscuits are supposed to be warm, buttery and delicous. Not in any way sweet.

The scone comes closest to being a biscuit (minus the rasins of course). I think the difference between my biscuit and your scone is that the biscuit I presented is made with buttermilk which gives it its yellow shade. Your scone is probably regular milk making it more fit for sweet toppings.

In closing, my theory still holds true. Brits eat too much sweets.

[Guiscard]

Your gravy is of the beef vareity, hence the non-semen shade of umber. Breakfast gravy is unaltered flour and cream with chunks of sausage which dont lend any pigment to the gravy, hence the semen-like quality.

Your biscuit is still a cookie to me. Its sweet man, biscuits are supposed to be warm, buttery and delicous. Not in any way sweet.

The scone comes closest to being a biscuit (minus the rasins of course). I think the difference between my biscuit and your scone is that the biscuit I presented is made with buttermilk which gives it its yellow shade. Your scone is probably regular milk making it more fit for sweet toppings.

In closing, my theory still holds true. Brits eat too much sweets.

It wasn't up for debate. When British people define things it is a non-negotiable statement of fact. You cannot question said definition because we can invoke the 1783 law of we-made-your-culture-stop-abusing-it. Which, I think you'll find, is perfectly valid in a court of law.

[HungrySomali]

Your gravy is of the beef vareity, hence the non-semen shade of umber. Breakfast gravy is unaltered flour and cream with chunks of sausage which dont lend any pigment to the gravy, hence the semen-like quality.

Your biscuit is still a cookie to me. Its sweet man, biscuits are supposed to be warm, buttery and delicous. Not in any way sweet.

The scone comes closest to being a biscuit (minus the rasins of course). I think the difference between my biscuit and your scone is that the biscuit I presented is made with buttermilk which gives it its yellow shade. Your scone is probably regular milk making it more fit for sweet toppings.

In closing, my theory still holds true. Brits eat too much sweets.

It wasn't up for debate. When British people define things it is a non-negotiable statement of fact. You cannot question said definition because we can invoke the 1783 law of we-made-your-culture-stop-abusing-it. Which, I think you'll find, is perfectly valid in a court of law.

LoL, they do call it the Queens English. And we do have a way of butchering said language. I will refrain from redefining your breakfast delictables. Though you still eat too many sweets.

[muy_thaiguy]

Your gravy is of the beef vareity, hence the non-semen shade of umber. Breakfast gravy is unaltered flour and cream with chunks of sausage which dont lend any pigment to the gravy, hence the semen-like quality.

Your biscuit is still a cookie to me. Its sweet man, biscuits are supposed to be warm, buttery and delicous. Not in any way sweet.

The scone comes closest to being a biscuit (minus the rasins of course). I think the difference between my biscuit and your scone is that the biscuit I presented is made with buttermilk which gives it its yellow shade. Your scone is probably regular milk making it more fit for sweet toppings.

In closing, my theory still holds true. Brits eat too much sweets.

It wasn't up for debate. When British people define things it is a non-negotiable statement of fact. You cannot question said definition because we can invoke the 1783 law of we-made-your-culture-stop-abusing-it. Which, I think you'll find, is perfectly valid in a court of law.

Bah!

[Guiscard]

LoL, they do call it the Queens English. And we do have a way of butchering said language. I will refrain from redefining your breakfast delictables. Though you still eat too many sweets.

Breakfast? We don't eat any of those things for breakfast...

THIS is a breakfast:

[Frigidus]

LoL, they do call it the Queens English. And we do have a way of butchering said language. I will refrain from redefining your breakfast delictables. Though you still eat too many sweets.

Breakfast? We don't eat any of those things for breakfast...

THIS is a breakfast:

Beans? Baked beans? Do I see mashed potatoes?!



Eggs, hashed browns, and corn beef hash. Throw in some bacon and toast and you're set.

[muy_thaiguy]

Maybe some pancakes or french toast as well.

[Snorri1234]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

[Dancing Mustard]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

[Napoleon Ier]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

English breakfast really is great. I say that with all honesty, the only redeeming feature of English cuisine...that and Christmas pudding. Also Bakewell tarts. But no other good features really....

[The1exile]

[The1exile]

stupid double post.

[The1exile]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

English breakfast really is great. I say that with all honesty, the only redeeming feature of English cuisine...that and Christmas pudding. Also Bakewell tarts. But no other good features really....

Depends on if sandwiches count as properly English. And Worcestershire sauce = teh awesome.

[Snorri1234]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

I've eaten lost of them though. But they were mostly disgusting. Weird pieces of black sausage, bacon that tasted like cardboard and generally just not very nice.

[jiminski]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

I've eaten lost of them though. But they were mostly disgusting. Weird pieces of black sausage, bacon that tasted like cardboard and generally just not very nice.

I suggest it's because it was cooked by a Dutch prostitute Snorri.

[MeDeFe]

To get us away from breakfast and back to biscuits, I found a video on Youtube (where else) which explains and demonstrates the Tim-Tam trick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJsEMKX3dXI

[jiminski]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

English breakfast really is great. I say that with all honesty, the only redeeming feature of English cuisine...that and Christmas pudding. Also Bakewell tarts. But no other good features really....

Now to English Cuisine:

We have The Magnificent Roast dinner with Yorkshire pudding
Beef Wellington: Prince of the purest Beef lovers menu
Beef and Oyster ale pudding; a piece of counter-intuitive culinary genius!
Sticky toffee pudding
March Pork casserole and Dumplings!

and there are a many many more including the Chicken Korma; our being home to much nouveau-Asiatic cuisine!

[heavycola]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

English breakfast really is great. I say that with all honesty, the only redeeming feature of English cuisine...that and Christmas pudding. Also Bakewell tarts. But no other good features really....

Now to English Cuisine:

We have The Magnificent Roast dinner with Yorkshire pudding
Beef Wellington: Prince of the purest Beef lovers menu
Beef and Oyster ale pudding; a piece of counter-intuitive culinary genius!
Sticky toffee pudding
March Pork casserole and Dumplings!

and there are a many many more including the Chicken Korma; our being home to much nouveau-Asiatic cuisine!

Ahh, chicken tikka masala...
battered cod... proper chips...
lancashire hotpot... cornish pasties... not to mention the cheese...
melton mowbray pork pies... cumberland sausages...

[HungrySomali]

Is that black stuff some kind of blood sausage? That "breakfast" looks absolutely foul. A meal that 'eavy and I'd be right back in bed, lol. The only redeeming English food is Fish and Chips.

[heavycola]

Yeah it's black pudding. But there is a world of difference between good and bad black pudding. I love it.

If anyone lives anywhere near Hackney, try the Mess Cafe on Amhurst Rd, near Hackney Central. Best breakfast in London.

[Snorri1234]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

I've eaten lost of them though. But they were mostly disgusting. Weird pieces of black sausage, bacon that tasted like cardboard and generally just not very nice.

I suggest it's because it was cooked by a Dutch prostitute Snorri.

nah man, it was in a bunch of bed and breakfasts.
I've been to England quite a few times.

[jiminski]

I've never eaten a good tasting english breakfast.

Coincidentally, you have also never lived.

I've eaten lost of them though. But they were mostly disgusting. Weird pieces of black sausage, bacon that tasted like cardboard and generally just not very nice.

I suggest it's because it was cooked by a Dutch prostitute Snorri.

nah man, it was in a bunch of bed and breakfasts.
I've been to England quite a few times.

good man Snorri!
B and B's will often give you crap .. cheap sausages, bad bacon; which has been over-cooked and reheated... you need to go to HC's Hackney cafe or to be fed by a local with proper butcher quality meat.

[Snorri1234]

good man Snorri!
B and B's will often give you crap .. cheap sausages, bad bacon; which has been over-cooked and reheated... you need to go to HC's Hackney cafe or to be fed by a local with proper butcher quality meat.

Yeah, next time I'll try that.