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Wowzors, it's a story!

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Wowzors, it's a story!

Postby Skittles! on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:21 am

This is a story written via me, with some parts made my friend. It's basically an intro.

P.S. I know the "red moments" may sound like Soylent Green, but honestly, I don't want to make it a copy of Soylent green.


My story wrote:The City Of Verdammt, 2nd Era, 2342
The last Era of the City of Verdammt ended in reprisal. Up throwing the old government has lead Verdammt to be less dank, less depressive, but it has not helped with the pollution, or the rat infested alleyways. Dirty clubs and bars still cling to the alleyways, where many people still dance, drink and smoke their way to death. Nothing can change what has been done to the citizens or their outlook on their out washed lives, so no one tries to. Food is scarce, so the only edible thing is a small, circular shaped substance called a “Red Moment”. New advertisements are showing on the local Eastern Section buildings about a new “Blue Moment”, which will be released at a more expensive price. No one knows how exactly it is made, but it’s food, so they don’t inquire. The citizens of Verdammt have not been outside the City for over a decade, and survived, but it is assured that it is worst and unliveable.

The latest and most reliable computer-robot of Verdammt is the mechanical security system – the HAL-9000. The HAL, as everyone calls them, is foolproof in every way and is totally incapable of error. It keeps everything in check, and no one can cross a HAL, by watching and noting everything that everybody does. There’s HAL’s in every club, every bar, every building. No one can escape the latest security system; no one can escape the mechanical beings.

In the western section of the city, a slight breeze of fresh air from an unknown source flies towards a dank and dark alleyway. In the Western Section, as it’s called, is the red-district, home to all prostitutes and even the homeless. Where the middle class go to satisfy their needs, and where the main factory for Red Moments is located, it is home to the lower class, which makes up to 68% of the population of the City. HAL-9000’s are also located in the Western Section, watching who goes there and what exactly happens. Crime is at a high in this Section of the City, but it cannot be stopped, so no progress to stop it is made.


So.. What do you people think? I am influenced by an Industrial (kind of like techno) band - Combichrist. There songs and some lines will be featured in the story. Like HAL-900, Verdammt, and some more.
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Postby Dekloren on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:24 am

Where do you get your information from??

I'm curious. Well written and thought prevoking..
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Postby browng-08 on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:27 am

Charleston Heston wrote:Red moments is Skittles!!
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Postby Skittles! on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:33 am

Dekloren wrote:Where do you get your information from??

Information? It's called imagination.
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Postby Dekloren on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:35 am

:lol:
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Postby muy_thaiguy on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:40 am

Interesting, and somewhat reminds me of 1984 in certain ways. Could use a Protagonist though.
"Eh, whatever."
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What, you expected something deep or flashy?
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Postby Skittles! on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:41 am

muy_thaiguy wrote:Interesting, and somewhat reminds me of 1984 in certain ways. Could use a Protagonist though.

It's only the introduction.. I'll get a pro. soon enough.
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Postby Iliad on Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:12 am

sci fi for the win!

That's a cool intro
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