the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

[rdsrds2120]

Check that; my penis IS a ripened banana.

Does it make yeast rise?

-rd

[safariguy5]

Check that; my penis IS a ripened banana.

Does it make yeast rise?

-rd

Only if the girl has an infection.

[AndyDufresne]

BPotW

I endorse these. **Leaves behind a bowl of endorsed-bananas**


--Andy

[johnnyrotten]

Oh my sweet Jesus, this is still going.

[AndyDufresne]

Oh my sweet Jesus, this is still going.

Yeah, it is. **Munches on a banana**


--Andy

[johnnyrotten]

Fancy a game Andy? 9360240

[targetman377]

The Longest Thread, Thread - Occasionally NSFW-----------------------issue 12 7/6/2011ad
-------Random Awesomeness of the Week!------COMIC!!!!-------Target history fact of the week------ WHAT WAS NOT SAID IN THIS POST!!!!-----Pic of the week-------this week in the thread----Question of the week----INTERVIEW!!!—overlooked post!!!!

For it has been a while so I jammed back this newsletter with a lot of fun!!!!

PHILOSOPHY
For years man has asked Why, what and how? Why are we here?? Why??? What is the reason??? And how am I here?? These questions have plagued man for centuries not only that these questions have started wars brought evil men to power. And also Brought great men to power. So how does this have anything to do with this thread you might ask? And why would I talk about something so boring as philosophy?
Well to be honest I will answer the last questions first and we shall teranteto this. I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I am going to do with my life lately. Why am, I hear what should, I do and how did I get here? You know all that fun stuff so In order to help me I am just going to put it out there.
So how does this relate to conquer club?? well there is a goal in CC the object is to win this is simple that what makes CC fun is learning how to win, against real people that mentality of how can I out think this person?? Also there is a philosophy of just how the best way to outsmart your enemy’s. And conquer the world. Which is fun but in this lovely site there is a place to learn the best strategies. But life does not have a thing you can just read up on and figure things out.
Throughout the years humans have tried to come up with why we are here. We invented Gods, we said it just happened, aliens created us. Yada yada yada. But here is what I know right here right now I am here. I am typing this (even this I do not know I am just assuming this.) People say that life is about living to the fullest to the to be nice and spreading joy. While if that is true I hope you have like my newsletter and find it fun!!
My to the questions that plagued man and now me why are we here? Well to answer that I would say I don’t know. Well I am not any Socrates I just always wonder and I really have not come up with anything. The only thing I got is About humans we are all selfish creators we only do what is Best for our selves. Humans need to get some kind of reward for there job. A Feeling a place in heaven. (this is not always a bad thing. But now I am rambling and I feel I have raised more questions than I could answer sorry. But that’s all she wrote

Oh Captain oh captain.
Chapter 1 part 1
as the darkness fell over the ruined battlefield a lone wolf dug himself out of his trench. He looked around to make sure it was clear as the sun was to his front he knew that he could move without being seen. He rushed to the next fox hole where he was surprised to see his old friend Apey chomping on a cookie. Apey always had a cookie with her no matter where they were fighting. All of the men in the crew knew that about her. Not only did she always have a cookie She really did. Once they had been battling in the field for over 3 months living off bread rations that came, never on schedule at all. But even the day before they were supposed to be awarded leave and final collect their mail she was still chomping on a cookie the very night before they left the front. As it was she dropped the cookie just as she herd noise coming towards her fast. She reached for her gun. Raised it her heart beat faster then just as the nosie was right on the edge of her and her aim right above her Lone jumped in.
“f*ck!” apey whispered it a harsh domineer “lone I fucken almost shot you what the hell?”
“sorry I have news from the captain” lone replied not fazed by what apey said he was busy watching his surroundings and listening for any movement from above. “Apey the you are now the closest solder to the front the unit in that was stationed in front of us are gone.” Crunch, Apey nervously chewed on the cookie starting to eat it slower watching lones face.
“ So we need you to retreat 100 yards and regroup with the whole unit.” His eyes did not blink his face was that of a warrior that had seen his best bud killed and a number of greens had died, even after he told them not to do exactly to what he just said.
“ok” apey said
He shook his head listened for a moment then popped his head out of the fox hole looked then ducked back in waited until he counted to 10 then popped his head out again once again only for a second then ducked again and said the “abc” then waved apey back to the trench. They both hoped out of the foxhole and ran to the line and jumped in.
“f*ck” army said the second he saw lone jump in.
“hahahahahah” shield was laughing in the back ground “I told you the good lord would protect them now toss over that cig.
“Up yours shield” as army threw it over shield caught it. Lone looked at army and said “hey you win some bets you lose some chukling.” Army and lone had been in the pits together for what seemed like forever each where both intelligent men. They liked each other but there friendship was more in the banter you would expect to see form two people who hated each other. Once a long time ago back before they were in the pits they where one of the first group to go to battle and lone had put a snake in his pack. Army quickly recovered by getting 100 red ants and put them in lones sleepbag. They both respected each other and besides few had served longer together then in there unit then them, Only the general was had been here from the start of the war. Each man knew the chances of living for 2 years at the front was next to impossible, But they all knew what was on the other side of the front. They all knew what could happen if they failed to fight them off.
“Alright babies gather round,” lone said. Army, shield and apey took knees around lone. “ alright the enemy is said to be making a push on our sector and we are to take up positions to defend this spot as best we can. Then retreats regroup and defend for the next 1 mile or so. Everything is set up for our retreat and the next 5 spots we will defend. A mile back is when we will meet up with the our reinforcements who have orders to stay where they are. So we just need to hold off as long as possible and then reform with our reinforcement” Crunch.
“you got to be shitting me right?” army looked at lone “ a cookie monster, a priest and a pussy and me are to hold off against a push? “
Lone not flinching said “Yes.”
“and who the f*ck are you? Well I can’t hold this with you guys I will do all the work. God dam headquarters fucken can’t do anything right.”
“watch your tounge army I am still your superior.”
“By 3 days”
“that’s all it takes”
“Now surly the enemy would love this to continue but we need to get to work” shield interjected quickly, “Apey line up charges in the foxholes and the field in front of us.”
Apey nodding and started to work. Amry shook his head and went off to work on defensive positions.
“I don’t need your help preist” lone said in an angry tone to shield, Walking the other way to report the situation to headquarters.
Shield was the newest member of the unit and still somewhat green he was not actually a priest and neither did he refrain from killing. But he did try to keep the peace in the scattered unit As he lite his cigarette that he had won his mind began to wonder how it all started… how it came to be… Where was God In all this?




Random Awesomeness of the Week:

I just saw the commercial where the woman gets honored around the world for not driving buzzed...I wish I got that kind of reception every time I decide not to drink and drive. I would have a lot of receptions.

Where do people get the idea they are entitled to it all?? I agree lone.







COMIC!!!!!! Time.

Click image to enlarge.

Click image to enlarge.

Target’s history fact of the week.
July 6th
1751 – Pope Benedict XIV suppresses the Patriarchate of Aquileia and establishes from its territory the Archdiocese of Udine and Gorizia.
1777 – American Revolutionary War: Siege of Fort Ticonderoga – After a bombardment by British artillery under General John Burgoyne, American forces retreat from Fort Ticonderoga, New York.
1779 – Battle of Grenada: French victory over British naval forces during the American Revolutionary War.
1785 – The dollar is unanimously chosen as the monetary unit for the United States.
1801 – Battle of Algeciras: the French navy are defeated by the Royal Navy.





WHAT WAS NOT SAID IN THIS POST!!!!





BEST PIC OF THE WEEK!!!!!

Runerup!!!

This week in the Thread
Lots of fun things happened.






Advertising!!!
Tree- I give you oxgen now don’t cut me down
Water- try to destroy me I triple dog dare you
Fire- man’s true best friend





Question of the week!

What state consumes the most spam?




Answer to last week’s question
Shield “sorry I woke at at 2.55am today still tierd.






INTERVIEWs
This department is on break




Terrible Tabloid:
Due to the government shutting down I have nothing to say.

OVER LOOKED POST!!!!!
Emergency funding has dried up.




By sending me the article you are giving me the rights to that article and I have the right to edit it and change it as I see fit. And also I can keep it in reserves as long as I see fit. I will give you full credit.

Thanks!!!!!!!

[targetman377]

sorry about the edited version i was really busy the last few week i promis next week to get on the ball i hope you can forgive me i added a new section which i think you will all enjoy.

[strike wolf]

Spamsylvania?

*reflects on his best bud* poor Johnny...they shanked him with a shiv...and shivved him with a shank

[targetman377]

i wonder who the enemy really is??? only time will tell! how do you like it so far did i bring you in can you not wait for next week?

[AndyDufresne]

Fancy a game Andy? 9360240

It filled up. Plus, freestyle and I don't get along usually.

**Munches on a banana**


--Andy

[strike wolf]

i wonder who the enemy really is??? only time will tell! how do you like it so far did i bring you in can you not wait for next week?

Needs more cowbell.

Have aog and shield die before Apey goes into a homicidal rage at the loss of her cookie then we'll talk.

[targetman377]

i wonder who the enemy really is??? only time will tell! how do you like it so far did i bring you in can you not wait for next week?

Needs more cowbell.

Have aog and shield die before Apey goes into a homicidal rage at the loss of her cookie then we'll talk.

now that would be a plot cliff hanger

[AndyDufresne]

**Munches on a banana, leaves a bowl of bananas near a cliff.**


--Andy

[strike wolf]

The end was yesterday.

[johnnyrotten]

Bump.

>_>
<_<

[sam_levi_11]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

[targetman377]

nope its an illusion!

[strike wolf]

That's right you're all just trapped in my head.

[AndyDufresne]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

I like how in the last few days, we've seen this comment a couple of times.

**Munches on an indefinite-banana**


--Andy

[johnnyrotten]

Indefinite bananas are all well and good; find me an indefinite cigarette and I'll be happy.

[sam_levi_11]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

I like how in the last few days, we've seen this comment a couple of times.

**Munches on an indefinite-banana**


--Andy

Well i havent been on the site in months, maybe a year. So i was more than a little surprised.

[Army of GOD]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

This is what strike wolf's, targetman's and shieldgenerator's moms said last night about my penis.

[sam_levi_11]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

This is what strike wolf's, targetman's and shieldgenerator's moms said last night about my penis.

Sounds bored to me, huh?

[AndyDufresne]

THIS IS STILL GOING o.O

This is what strike wolf's, targetman's and shieldgenerator's moms said last night about my penis.

Bogs, did they also say it was an indefinite banana?

**Leaves behind a bowl of bananas**


--Andy