AndyDufresne wrote:You could consider changing part of it from an explanation to a directive of sorts. I.E. from 'to manipulate the mob...' to something like 'Manipulate the mob by controlling the city gates.'
And if you wanted to alter the beginning two sentences (though I think they are pretty good), you could borrow a few lines from Julius Caesar (though I think you mentioned this isn't the time frame covered by the map). "There is a tide in the affairs of men /
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune..."
Anyways, the blurb is nice, and adds to the overall theme.
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A black bridge would be interesting to see. What if you just outlined the bridges with a black outline? Your other icons have a little more outline to them, it might work.
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...I wouldn't be opposed to seeing a mock-up of a few icon-regions.
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3. Like the border excluding the explanation and icons. The border for overall map, however, is pretty strong, when compared to all the soft/fuzziness that is predominant on the map. That is probably something I'd like to see softened in intensity.
A "directive" is now included in the blurb. Here it is, shown line-by-line:
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The dictator is dead;
assassinated in the
Senate house. Thus
begins the struggle
to succeed him. With
mobs afoot, control
of the city gates has
become critical. Win
them, win the people,
win the crown. Fail
and Caesar's fate will
become your own.
I'm serious: from now on any suggestions for changes need to be in this form: 13 lines or (preferably) less, each line about 16 chars long. It does me no good for someone to suggest a change without this, since in re-write I must alter the suggestion to make it fit in the space. (Besides, this latest version is pretty good!) As for the Shakespeare: I absolutely love it, but I'm afraid it would be too obscure for most players.
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The bridges now have a black outline. I tried three different black bridges - none worked. But I darkened these and added the outline and it's an improvement.
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I've added shadings for all the icon-bonus terts and included the colors in the top right legend. I think it adds a lot and makes the map look more comprehensible.
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The surrounding border is an actual photograph of an actual Roman mosaic. The original is so big that the individual tiles will probably only be visible on an excellent monitor. Using the eraser tool I've removed the outside black portions from the outer half - the one with the "weave" pattern. This tones it down considerably, but it also lessens authenticity. So does what I did with the inner half. It begins to be not worth having the weave-border at all. Replacing it with a simple line would save 62 pixels in each dimension, and it would load a lot faster as well. I'm posting both versions and would appreciate comments re. preference. If the simple blackline version is preferred, the next question is what about the white-gold-white border: should it be replaced or does it add some Roman flavor?
natty_dread wrote:Firstly, the river: it looks too flat, the texture doesn't fit the rest of the map, and the colour seems a bit odd... experiment with the color, try to give the river more depth (I'd try adding some inner shading to it, or maybe a dark inner glow) and try to get the texture more "flowing", if that makes sense.
Second... the idea of the woven metal frame is good in principle, but it's not so well executed - it looks too pasted on, like it doesn't belong with the rest of the map. Can you try smoothing the transition with the frame and the rest of the map? Or you could try removing the black background from the frame...
Third, the playable area. The gladius overlaid on top of the map... there's a term for it: Awesome but inpractical. By which I mean, it looks really cool, but in practice (ie. when you're playing a game) it just sort of distracts you and makes the map less readable. I think you'd be better off having the gladius as an element of the title.
Speaking of the title, the red glow doesn't really do it for me... try making the glow darker and thinner, and maybe adding a thin black stroke on the letters to complement it.
Well, that's all for now.
I played with the river and got it looking so awful I had to start over from scratch.
Is it too bright now?
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As noted above it's not a metal frame at all, but I took the suggestion about the black background (part of it anyway).
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The gladius is gone. The colored terts for the icon-bonuses sealed its death warrant.
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The title has been changed considerably. It's now a bloody mess.
Like it?
Also changed a bit: base color tones. (To accommodate the shaded icon terts.)
Hmm. I just had an idea but it's too late to try it out on this draft.
I could have a gladius stuck into the word "Dead" in the title. Whaddaya think?
FIFTEENTH DRAFTS:
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