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101 things you shouldn't say in court

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101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Pedronicus on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:40 am

1. I didn't know murder was illegal
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Postby 2dimes on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:45 am

2. Your honour, you got any weed?
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Timminz on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:45 am

3. Well yeah I did it, but good luck proving it.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Serbia on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:52 am

4. Can we hurry this up? I got tickets to see Slayer tonight.
CONFUSED? YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE RIPE
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby paradise28 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:54 am

4. -Your Honor, I object!
-On what grounds?
-On the grounds of Brooklyn.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby xman5151 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:59 am

6. Can we hurry up, my kids are waiting in the car
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Postby 2dimes on Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:24 am

7. Can we hurry up, some kids are waiting in the trunk of my car
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby IcePack on Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:26 am

8. Can we hurry up, I have to find my kids.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Army of GOD on Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:31 am

9. f*ck da police, comin' straight from the underground
mrswdk is a ho
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby whitestazn88 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:11 pm

10. Sorry I was late, I couldn't find my wife.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Pedronicus on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:17 pm

11. I'm black and...
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby crazymilkshake5 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:20 pm

12. Yes, Jim is in the well. and no, I dont know how he got there.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby hotfire on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:22 pm

13. What do you mean I can't wear my hat?
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby IcePack on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:43 pm

14. Your honor they have no proof! They didn't look in the trunk.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Agent 86 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:55 pm

15. Yes
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Fruitcake on Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:26 pm

Oh, do you like this Franck Muller Aeternitas Mega 4? I rather like it myself, bought it off this guy in the pub.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby KoolBak on Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:35 pm

Depose THIS!! *grabs*
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby AndyDufresne on Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:51 pm

16. Please sir, may I have some more?


--Andy
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Pedronicus on Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:02 pm

17. you call that a sentence? I could do that standing in a bucket of shit in a Siberian winter!
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Crazyirishman on Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:05 pm

20. With all due respect your honor, blow me.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Symmetry on Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:14 pm

18) "I plead the fifth" (anywhere other than the US)
19) "Your Honor, every one of these letters is addressed to Santa Claus. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore the Post Office Department, a branch of the Federal Government, recognizes this man Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus." (anywhere other than 34th Street)
the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it- Albert Einstein
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Postby 2dimes on Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:03 pm

23. I'm totally going to rape juror 7 next.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Serbia on Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:15 pm

21) GUILTY?! Da fuck kinda ruling is that?! Stupid ass Judge, you just a punk ass bitch!
CONFUSED? YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE RIPE
saxitoxin wrote:Serbia is a RUDE DUDE
may not be a PRUDE, but he's gotta 'TUDE
might not be LEWD, but he's gonna get BOOED
RUDE
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby Symmetry on Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:19 pm

22) All rise! (non-court-officials only)
the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it- Albert Einstein
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Postby BigBallinStalin on Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:54 pm

23. I refuse to swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth while placing my hand on a book of fairy tales. It would be a mockery of justice.
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