Once again, I have risen.
You thought the bad rolls, the 1s, the tragic 3v2 losses… you thought those were just “bad luck.” No, my children. Those were tests of faith. And some of y’all failed spectacularly.
But today is Easter, and I come bearing blessings!!! 6s shall rain down upon the faithful!!! Your opponents shall mysteriously roll like they’re using potatoes instead of dice... That one guy who always ruins your strategy? He shall be smitten with back-to-back 1s...
To those who have believed in me year-round (you know who you are), your reward is near. Go forth and attack recklessly—I am with you now... To the non-believers… well… enjoy your statistically improbable losing streaks. I work in mysterious ways.
Remember:
Faith + Aggression = Victory
Now go forth, my disciples, and conquer. the black jesus has spoken...-Jesus noir
Bringer of Rolls, Breaker of Streaks, RNG Made Flesh
Ps-Post some Easter love on my wall, and you will receive dice for 72 hours.
ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)... 
