In Theory...

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.
User avatar
The Kurgan
Posts: 59
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:57 pm
Location: The Planet Zeist

In Theory...

Post by The Kurgan »

Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
User avatar
unriggable
Posts: 8036
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:49 pm

Re: In Theory...

Post by unriggable »

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
They have a history with infertility.
Image
User avatar
mr. incrediball
Posts: 3423
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:07 pm
Location: Right here.

Re: In Theory...

Post by mr. incrediball »

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
you only just figured that out? :roll:
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
User avatar
mr. incrediball
Posts: 3423
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:07 pm
Location: Right here.

Re: In Theory...

Post by mr. incrediball »

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
User avatar
unriggable
Posts: 8036
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:49 pm

Re: In Theory...

Post by unriggable »

mr. incrediball wrote:
The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.
More kids.
Image
User avatar
mr. incrediball
Posts: 3423
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:07 pm
Location: Right here.

Re: In Theory...

Post by mr. incrediball »

unriggable wrote:
mr. incrediball wrote:
The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.
More kids.
actually, she got her husband (athiest) to wear contraception.

that'll probably be a new commandment: "thou shalt not exploit loopholes"
darvlay wrote:Get over it, people. It's just a crazy lookin' bear ejaculating into the waiting maw of an eager fox. Nothing more.
User avatar
Napoleon Ier
Posts: 2299
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:33 am
Location: Exploiting the third world's genetic plant resources.

Post by Napoleon Ier »

yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno.... :?

On a more serious note, we can use NSP :wink:
User avatar
unriggable
Posts: 8036
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:49 pm

Post by unriggable »

Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....
Metaphorical:
The bible

Literal:
The sequel (Biology 101)
Image
User avatar
muy_thaiguy
Posts: 12730
Joined: Fri May 18, 2007 11:20 am
Gender: Male
Location: Back in Black
Contact:

Post by muy_thaiguy »

Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....
Napolean, there are just some threads that need to be left alone, this is one of those.
"Eh, whatever."
-Anonymous


What, you expected something deep or flashy?
User avatar
Skittles!
Posts: 14575
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:18 am
Gender: Male

Post by Skittles! »

Aw, how cute, the Catholics are starting to feel guilty, once again. Catholicism = Guilt driven.
User avatar
Napoleon Ier
Posts: 2299
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:33 am
Location: Exploiting the third world's genetic plant resources.

Post by Napoleon Ier »

muy_thaiguy wrote:
Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....
Napolean, there are just some threads that need to be left alone, this is one of those.
You're right. Sorry buddy. Thanks for looking out for me.
User avatar
dacey
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:25 am
Gender: Female

Post by dacey »

Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.
User avatar
unriggable
Posts: 8036
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:49 pm

Post by unriggable »

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl?
Uhh....

[points to riggable, reriggable, deriggable and exriggable]
Image
User avatar
got tonkaed
Posts: 5034
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:01 pm
Location: Detroit

Post by got tonkaed »

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.
its a lot easier to put on a rubber though, and have the girl be on the pill.
User avatar
dacey
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:25 am
Gender: Female

Post by dacey »

got tonkaed wrote: its a lot easier to put on a rubber though, and have the girl be on the pill.
Most definitely true, but if you think you will be smote for doing so, there are many solutions to the whole "two orgasms a lifetime" thing.

And anyway, Catholics average more kids than two (at least in the US, since we average a little more than two each with bc).
User avatar
Chris7He
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:54 pm
Location: Schplotzing Elin Grindemry

Post by Chris7He »

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.
I need an orgasm...



















with a girl... :cry: :oops:
User avatar
Chris7He
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:54 pm
Location: Schplotzing Elin Grindemry

Post by Chris7He »

unriggable wrote:
dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl?
Uhh....

[points to riggable, reriggable, deriggable and exriggable]
Are they actually your children?
User avatar
The Kurgan
Posts: 59
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:57 pm
Location: The Planet Zeist

Post by The Kurgan »

I think pulling out is not allowed, either.
User avatar
dacey
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:25 am
Gender: Female

Post by dacey »

The Kurgan wrote:I think pulling out is not allowed, either.
I'm not Catholic, so I don't know. I was consulting a Catholic who said it was okay.
User avatar
DaGip
Posts: 4042
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:48 am
Location: Watertown, South Dakota

Re: In Theory...

Post by DaGip »

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
Catholics are notorious sinners because they can just go to confession and have The Big Guy forgive everything by saying a couple Hail Mary's and an Our Father... :roll:
Army of GOD wrote:This thread is now about my large penis
Image
fireedud
Posts: 1704
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:06 pm

Post by fireedud »

The Kurgan wrote:I think pulling out is not allowed, either.
I think it's allowed as long as you don't spill anything.
me have no sig
User avatar
Napoleon Ier
Posts: 2299
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:33 am
Location: Exploiting the third world's genetic plant resources.

Post by Napoleon Ier »

No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)
User avatar
Napoleon Ier
Posts: 2299
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:33 am
Location: Exploiting the third world's genetic plant resources.

Re: In Theory...

Post by Napoleon Ier »

DaGip wrote:
The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?
Catholics are notorious sinners because they can just go to confession and have The Big Guy forgive everything by saying a couple Hail Mary's and an Our Father... :roll:
Nah but doesn;t work you have to actually mean them. Plus the embarrasmnt of owning up to rampant orgies to some 70something arch-conservative priest....
fireedud
Posts: 1704
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:06 pm

Post by fireedud »

Napoleon Ier wrote:No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)
Yea, but didn't he spill it and that was the reason God punished him?
me have no sig
User avatar
Napoleon Ier
Posts: 2299
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:33 am
Location: Exploiting the third world's genetic plant resources.

Post by Napoleon Ier »

fireedud wrote:
Napoleon Ier wrote:No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)
Yea, but didn't he spill it and that was the reason God punished him?
Sure sure, (some serious Bible knowledge there, you didn't per chance attend my good friend ted haggard's jesus Camp did you :lol:) but then I think the Church interprets that in the way that it was the fact he pulled out that was wrong. (I reckon also that he repeatedly denied her the chance for a child that she wanted,seems a bit harsh in ipse).
personally I ake vaguely more libertarian approach to it
Post Reply

Return to “Acceptable Content”