heavenly29 wrote:The only use for you is reproduction
A life in which my only purpose is to reproduce? Sign me up for sexy times...
heavenly29 wrote:Without women you would cause the end of mankind, without men the world would be a much happier place!
Indeed, it would be a paradise of constant PMT, of endless debates about which shoes to wear with which handbag, a place where nail-varnish was more expensive than oil, where computers and automobiles broke with no hope of repair, where simple home-repairs would be regarded as impossible engineering conundrums, where each hour would have a mandatory five-minute "
whinge about your weight, then proceed to stuff your face with chocolate as you blub that it's an 'emotional necessity'" period at its beginning and end, a place with newspapers that consisted solely of 13,000 pages of pictures of various talentless 'celebrities' wearing their hair in a slightly different way than they did the previous day, and where global shortages of batteries would cause whole cities to collapse into rabid libido-fuelled rioting.
Why yes, that particular utopia sounds like just the kind of place that women would be insanely happy. Makes me realise just how justified all of this sanctimonious "Well men are only useful for reproduction" whining really is.
heavenly29 wrote:Why It's GREAT To Be A Guy...
AKA: Why it's GREAT to be a guy before you actually engage logic and think about what you're saying.
heavenly29 wrote:- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Humbug.
Female employers discriminate on grounds of attractiveness just as much as men. And even if they didn't, you might be getting interviewed by a homosexual male.
heavenly29 wrote:- Your last name stays put.
So does yours if you're not a doormat to tradition. If you're going to get bulldozered into a name-change against your wishes, then you have only yourself to blame.
heavenly29 wrote:- The garage is all yours.
For the small price of THE REST OF THE FUCKING HOUSE.
heavenly29 wrote:- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
That reads equally well as "
You have no say in your wedding plans whatsoever, because your bride-to-be suddenly turns into a raving maniac and monopolises every last detail of the wedding plans. If you don't like a tiny detail of her bizarre attempts to orchestrate the most tacky pseudo-fairytale, conformity-driven, industry-dictated, carbon-copy, 'perfect day' and dare to object, then she cries like a child until you relent."
heavenly29 wrote:- Chocolate is just another snack.
Ahhh yes, the bizarre 'Chocolate is some kind of mythological magic food for ladies' bollocks.
No it isn't. You're just very keen on it and too weak to break your binge-eating habits.
Don't like that little dose of reality? Still going to bang on about seratonin and emotional needs as if you've got a point? Well then good for you, enjoy your self-delusion and welcome to a life of impending middle-aged obesity.
heavenly29 wrote:- You can be president.
So can you. Stop complaining and inventing glass-ceilings.
heavenly29 wrote:- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
So can you, provided you wear a sensible undergarment.
heavenly29 wrote:- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Now you're just making things up.
Recently a friend of mine got pretty drunk and ended up trying to bed a complete skank; I felt compelled to save him from himself, even though she was clearly gagging for it. So don't get all moral on me.
heavenly29 wrote:- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Bullshit. They lie to everybody.
The difference is that we're informed enough to be able to question them instead of just lapping it up in ignorance.
heavenly29 wrote:- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
And neither should you... if you're going to forge mental prisons for yourselves, then pour your money into sustaining an industry that insists on perpetuating them; then you can hardly come crying to us about it. We're simply nothing to do with it, and the only people to blame are yourselves.
heavenly29 wrote:- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Nor does it come near to yours unless you voluntarily take yourself to a shop and pay for treatment. Please stop complaining about tortures of your own infliction.
heavenly29 wrote:- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Neither do you, just stop being such a pansy.
heavenly29 wrote:- Same work... more pay.
Except that there are laws against that, and we don't get 9 months of free holiday whenever we get knocked up.
heavenly29 wrote:- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Nobody made you wear those ridiculously small pants to this work function, you have only yourself and your vanity to blame.
heavenly29 wrote:- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
I suppose it never occurs to you people that you don't actually have to wear a $2000 dress? That there might be cheaper alternatives if you weren't so addicted to competing with one another and buying into whatever the money-clutching wedding industry dictated as being 'in' this year?
Silly question, of course it didn't... but you like whinging about illusory problems anyway.
heavenly29 wrote:- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
Actually, my pecs are pretty fucking sensational...
On the other hand, why are you whinging about free non-verbal compliments? Are you addicted to complaining?
heavenly29 wrote:- Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
No but seriously... how are you mistaking the death of some random woman who you never knew (and who never had a real job in her life) as being anything other than just another obituary
heavenly29 wrote:- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
From everybody...
Stop being paranoid about your appearance... people realise that you're human too. We're not going to burn you at the stake just because of the odd digestive exclamation.
heavenly29 wrote:- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
And they wouldn't mangle yours either if you didn't insist on buying ridiculous ones just to look like all your friends.
Seriously, how many times are you going to blame about tortures that you inflict on yourself? Take some responsibility for your own actions instead of just crying to men about how hard you're making your life.
heavenly29 wrote:- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
...and guess what, they're still retarded.
heavenly29 wrote:- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
For men or women...
heavenly29 wrote:- One mood, all the time.
I find this simplistic, uninformed and sexist outlook both offensive and ignorant. Your broad-brush stereotyping and baseless assertions are precisely the kind of attitudes that continue to perpetuate sexism in modern society, and you should be ashamed of yourself for indulging in them.
