A Girl Dilemma

[Fircoal]

http://marriland.com/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=129

[whitestazn88]

should've just given her the roofies from the get-go pc...

thats how i get all the pretty girls

[Napoleon Ier]

Read Flashman-Flashman always has the answer in these cases.

[jnd94]

Why are you asking us? Whatever your gut feeling is, go with it.

[ParadiceCity9]

That's basically what we've all been telling you...

Well he was more specific

[superkong]

O.K. so, here is the whole story up until last night:

(btw this is the extremely short story. in the case that you for whatever reason would like to hear the details, just PM me)

I was at a golf camp in the summer of '07 and there was one girl there; she and I made eye contact a lot and it was obvious we wanted to talk to each other. So on the very last day of the camp, everything happened the way it had to for us to finally talk to each other. I got her number and her AIM screen name, and that night we talked for an hour on AIM, a total of 6 hours the next day, and something like 4 and a half the next. So obviously, things were going good. We would eventually go on two dates to the mall, where we saw a movie each time and did some shopping (the second date went much better than the first, but that is not implying that the first one was bad). So after the second one, she stopped getting online. I figured she was busy, you know, so I respected that and didn't bother calling her or anything because that would make me look kind of like a dick. So like a month passed or something, and she would get on probably once a month now at this time. We'd just have this super awkward, 5-minute conversation each time. So at this point, we've pretty much just stopped talking.

Then December came along. I ended up bumping into her (literally) at the mall. We talked for like 2 minutes, and that was actually surprising not-awkward at all. But that didn't exactly help matters because we would not talk or see each other again for a very long time. That is, until last night. I was at my high school's football game (go hornets, score of 27-6!), and everything was going swimmingly. Half-time came along, and guess who shows up. That girl. She's with this dude from my school who's at least 9 feet tall, and she ends up sitting like 3 rows in front of me. So I'm like freakin' out 'what the f*ck why is she here!' I said to my friend next to me (he had no idea what I was talking about). But I guess she saw me (I was trying to avoid her) so earlier today, around 4 when I was at my friends house playing guitar, she texts me something like 'Hey! why didn't you say hi to me last night?!' So I'm thinking 'ah shit'. But I just kinda remembered what good times we'd had and how pretty she was, so I decided to text back. We ended up texting for like an hour, then I went to another friend's hockey game.

So now I'm trying to decide what to do. Should I text her 'hey what's up?' or somethin..should I wait until some time tomorrow to do that..should I send her a message on facebook (which would be kinda useless since I don't even check mine anymore)..or should I just let her go. I'd really like to get with her again though, she's seriously one of the best people I've ever met -- she's really nice, fun and easy to talk to, beautiful, the works.

And this is where you come in. I need some advice on how to approach this situation.

3..
2..
1..

GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!!

she clearly went off you and likes him now instead. if you want her to be your friend then go for it, otherwise just face that you're out of the picture and give up.

[ParadiceCity9]

she clearly went off you and likes him now instead. if you want her to be your friend then go for it, otherwise just face that you're out of the picture and give up.

You do realize that the difference in time between when I was with her and now is a little over a year...

[superkong]

she clearly went off you and likes him now instead. if you want her to be your friend then go for it, otherwise just face that you're out of the picture and give up.

You do realize that the difference in time between when I was with her and now is a little over a year...

indeed. that gives you even less of a chance if anything. unless you want to be her friend, in which case it sounds like she's up for that.

[Snorri1234]

She's totally gagging for it, send her naked pictures of yourself.

[amidoinitrite?]

turn up at her house naked and crying

[gdeangel]

Here's my read - this chick you like is your age, right, so she's with an older guy - she probably realizing she's selling herself out to be with Mr. Capt. America Jock Strap, probably a product of the peer pressure of being accepted/popular/etc.etc. You may simply be moral support she is reaching out for to validate her personally as the "real" person you knew her to be. Not that she's gone psycho identity crisis or something, but she prob. might like to have a 'guy friend' her age that isn't trying to get into her pants/get her drunk/<<name your stupid thing that high-school underclassmen do when dating Seniors>>. But there's no pay out for you in it ATM, bro. If you are 16yo and you hang out with her but don't date, people will say you are gay. If you start dating her, expect the beating, and if not (i.e., Jock-Strap doesn't give a sh*t about her), expect her to resent being kicked to the curb by good o'l Jock.

My advice to you - if you can scrounge up a "common interest" that you and her can both do, like, um, golf, then by all means make golf together, but don't become a guy-friend (and that includes pussy stuff like facebook, IM and such). Keep your social distance - at least for now. You remember that "mental boyfriend" post a while back... you don't want to be that guy either. Definitely do not do what the prior posted suggests...

[Minister Masket]

You fool!
Are you going to let a 7ft bean-pole and "feelings" get in the way of true love?
My advice to you is either ship-up or ship-out.

The decision you make could very well change the world, and that's not something to take lightly.
No pressure.

[ParadiceCity9]

Here's my read - this chick you like is your age, right, so she's with an older guy - she probably realizing she's selling herself out to be with Mr. Capt. America Jock Strap, probably a product of the peer pressure of being accepted/popular/etc.etc. You may simply be moral support she is reaching out for to validate her personally as the "real" person you knew her to be. Not that she's gone psycho identity crisis or something, but she prob. might like to have a 'guy friend' her age that isn't trying to get into her pants/get her drunk/<<name your stupid thing that high-school underclassmen do when dating Seniors>>. But there's no pay out for you in it ATM, bro. If you are 16yo and you hang out with her but don't date, people will say you are gay. If you start dating her, expect the beating, and if not (i.e., Jock-Strap doesn't give a sh*t about her), expect her to resent being kicked to the curb by good o'l Jock.

My advice to you - if you can scrounge up a "common interest" that you and her can both do, like, um, golf, then by all means make golf together, but don't become a guy-friend (and that includes pussy stuff like facebook, IM and such). Keep your social distance - at least for now. You remember that "mental boyfriend" post a while back... you don't want to be that guy either. Definitely do not do what the prior posted suggests...

Ya I was actually thinkin about askin her to play golf this weekend. I'm thinkin about textin her now. Should I just be like 'hey' and if she says 'hey' back should I say 'you still playin golf?' and hopefully shes like 'ya like once a week. lol why?' 'I was just wonderin if you wanted to play golf at reston (her home-course) this weekend.' or somethin like that. But if she doesn't ask why, should I say somethin like 'Oh sweet. you wanna golfing this weekend?' or should I add something else?

I dno if you've noticed but I really don't wanna f*ck this up bigtime...she means a lot to me, even after this long.

[Snorri1234]

I find that texting "Hey, you wanna have sex the next couple of hours?" works swimmingly....



...if you think being rejected is fun.

[Snorri1234]

Ya I was actually thinkin about askin her to play golf this weekend. I'm thinkin about textin her now. Should I just be like 'hey' and if she says 'hey' back should I say 'you still playin golf?' and hopefully shes like 'ya like once a week. lol why?' 'I was just wonderin if you wanted to play golf at reston (her home-course) this weekend.' or somethin like that. But if she doesn't ask why, should I say somethin like 'Oh sweet. you wanna golfing this weekend?' or should I add something else?

I dno if you've noticed but I really don't wanna f*ck this up bigtime...she means a lot to me, even after this long.

In all seriousness *puts on his serious face* I think the "oh sweet...." comment is a little too fast. The "just wondering" one seems much more like the way to go, even if she doesn't ask why.

And the thing to remember is that you have to act like you don't want to bone her so badly she'll hurt for 4 weeks. Act cool and throw little hints that say you really like her. Womens love subtle hints when they're not busy boning some faceless guy on the internet. Being obvious is the sure way to throw them off.

[ParadiceCity9]

Ya I was actually thinkin about askin her to play golf this weekend. I'm thinkin about textin her now. Should I just be like 'hey' and if she says 'hey' back should I say 'you still playin golf?' and hopefully shes like 'ya like once a week. lol why?' 'I was just wonderin if you wanted to play golf at reston (her home-course) this weekend.' or somethin like that. But if she doesn't ask why, should I say somethin like 'Oh sweet. you wanna golfing this weekend?' or should I add something else?

I dno if you've noticed but I really don't wanna f*ck this up bigtime...she means a lot to me, even after this long.

In all seriousness *puts on his serious face* I think the "oh sweet...." comment is a little too fast. The "just wondering" one seems much more like the way to go, even if she doesn't ask why.

And the thing to remember is that you have to act like you don't want to bone her so badly she'll hurt for 4 weeks. Act cool and throw little hints that say you really like her. Womens love subtle hints when they're not busy boning some faceless guy on the internet. Being obvious is the sure way to throw them off.

lol I don't wanna bone her dude, not yet. Claire's something different...

But what do you recommend I say then?

[hecter]

"I want to bone you."

[ParadiceCity9]

"I want to bone you."

thanks bro...

[Snorri1234]

Ya I was actually thinkin about askin her to play golf this weekend. I'm thinkin about textin her now. Should I just be like 'hey' and if she says 'hey' back should I say 'you still playin golf?' and hopefully shes like 'ya like once a week. lol why?' 'I was just wonderin if you wanted to play golf at reston (her home-course) this weekend.' or somethin like that. But if she doesn't ask why, should I say somethin like 'Oh sweet. you wanna golfing this weekend?' or should I add something else?

I dno if you've noticed but I really don't wanna f*ck this up bigtime...she means a lot to me, even after this long.

In all seriousness *puts on his serious face* I think the "oh sweet...." comment is a little too fast. The "just wondering" one seems much more like the way to go, even if she doesn't ask why.

And the thing to remember is that you have to act like you don't want to bone her so badly she'll hurt for 4 weeks. Act cool and throw little hints that say you really like her. Womens love subtle hints when they're not busy boning some faceless guy on the internet. Being obvious is the sure way to throw them off.

lol I don't wanna bone her dude, not yet. Claire's something different...

But what do you recommend I say then?

I'd say the first reply to her saying she still plays golf. It comes of as more of a "just friends"-comment, and since you aren't yet sure of what she thinks it's probably better to play it safe. At least that way you might be able to get her to play with you and see if there is any chance for you.

And I was using "boning her" more as a general comment about how you shouldn't make things too obvious. If she's special you can take some time before trying to woo her. (At least, you can wait untill you're confident she won't think you're creepy or deranged.)

[Snorri1234]

"I want to bone you."

"I just want to like, groom her!"

[ParadiceCity9]

Ya I was actually thinkin about askin her to play golf this weekend. I'm thinkin about textin her now. Should I just be like 'hey' and if she says 'hey' back should I say 'you still playin golf?' and hopefully shes like 'ya like once a week. lol why?' 'I was just wonderin if you wanted to play golf at reston (her home-course) this weekend.' or somethin like that. But if she doesn't ask why, should I say somethin like 'Oh sweet. you wanna golfing this weekend?' or should I add something else?

I dno if you've noticed but I really don't wanna f*ck this up bigtime...she means a lot to me, even after this long.

In all seriousness *puts on his serious face* I think the "oh sweet...." comment is a little too fast. The "just wondering" one seems much more like the way to go, even if she doesn't ask why.

And the thing to remember is that you have to act like you don't want to bone her so badly she'll hurt for 4 weeks. Act cool and throw little hints that say you really like her. Womens love subtle hints when they're not busy boning some faceless guy on the internet. Being obvious is the sure way to throw them off.

lol I don't wanna bone her dude, not yet. Claire's something different...

But what do you recommend I say then?

I'd say the first reply to her saying she still plays golf. It comes of as more of a "just friends"-comment, and since you aren't yet sure of what she thinks it's probably better to play it safe. At least that way you might be able to get her to play with you and see if there is any chance for you.

And I was using "boning her" more as a general comment about how you shouldn't make things too obvious. If she's special you can take some time before trying to woo her. (At least, you can wait untill you're confident she won't think you're creepy or deranged.)

ok so recap

'hey'
'hey'
'you still playin golf?'
'ya a little'/'ya some, why?'
'i was thinkin we could go golfin over at reston this weekend, just me and you'
?

[jnd94]

I'm tellin you, go for your gut reaction. You don't need our opinions.

[Snorri1234]

ok so recap

'hey'
'hey'
'you still playin golf?'
'ya a little'/'ya some, why?'
'i was thinkin we could go golfin over at reston this weekend, just me and you'
?

Yup. Basically that. Though I'd suggest a little more verbose approach but I'm not too sure how teenagers in the US peform in that stage.

Anyway, even when she doesn't ask you "why?" you can still go along with your response as you know she will be asking herself why you asked that goddamn question anyway. Why? is more of a thing you add for the hope that the person will respond faster.

Seeing as you'll respond fast anyway I don't think you really need to worry about it. Just invite her to play a round of golf (maybe two, I have no idea how long it lasts if you actually know how to do it) and keep the innuendo to a minimum. (This means only acting like you want her occasionally and a little obscurish.) I have no idea how to express such delacicies in english, so I'll leave it to the others here.

Basically, go for your gut-reaction as JND says but don't forget common sense.

[ParadiceCity9]

I'm tellin you, go for your gut reaction. You don't need our opinions.

Lol the thing is, my gut reaction with the ladies isn't always the best.

[ParadiceCity9]

k I just sent 'hey'

this is nerve-wracking lol