of Lance Armstrong:
4am: Wakes up. Masturbates joylessly into plastic receptacle.
4.30am: Drives round back of local abortion clinic to pick up weekly supply of protein supplement.
5am: Injects self full of drugs. Goes cycling.
1pm: Keeps cycling until it really really hurts.
5pm. Stops cycling. Pukes. More drugs.
6pm: Drinks protein shake. Drains plastic receptacle.
7pm: Watches sitcom. Does not move single facial muscle in response to 'humour'.
8pm: Thinks about cycling. Dumps Sheryl Crow. Goes cycling.
11pm: Bed.
What sort of life is that? Why would you put yourself through that every single day?


































































