How to make a rich girl love a pauper boy with no good skill

[TheProwler]

Otherwise: learn to cook. If you're a "6" in every other way and a seriously good cook, that makes you a "9".

Yeah...that's true...

If his girlfriend is a DUDE!!

[Juan_Bottom]

lol, wut?
I don't even know what the crap you just said.... we're hill people out here... I've never been to, or seen a single Thai resurant. So I wouldn't know if I prepared it right, other than by deliciousness...
I'm gonna have to look this up.


FYI, Restuarants that we have within 50 miles:
Some fast food
1 Italian
1 mexican
Happy Wok----been busted 2wice for cockroach infestation. 1nce more and they will be closed for good.
Subway
1 coffee shop
Golden Corral
And a few random "American Style" mom & Pop shops that get their food from Sysco, so I don't eat there.

Yeah...that's true...

If his girlfriend is a DUDE!!

So far awesome cooking has not impressed her... but maybe foreign food will.... she is an aweful picky eater though...

[jonesthecurl]

If she likes Mexican, she'll enjoy Thai (or at least some of it).

I'll give you my recipe for a Mexithai salad when I've got a minute, you should prolly be able to get most of the ingredients, or close substitutes.

[Ditocoaf]

Otherwise: learn to cook. If you're a "6" in every other way and a seriously good cook, that makes you a "9".

Yeah...that's true...

If his girlfriend is a DUDE!!

Actually, girls are quite impressed with guys who can cook. Very few can.

[Gregrios]

If cooking is the right fix then I'll be quite surprized.

[Juan_Bottom]

If cooking is the right fix then I'll be quite surprized.

Me too, but something tells me that rolly eyes are not the fix.

[jonesthecurl]

Otherwise: learn to cook. If you're a "6" in every other way and a seriously good cook, that makes you a "9".

Yeah...that's true...

If his girlfriend is a DUDE!!

Actually, girls are quite impressed with guys who can cook. Very few can.

It always worked for me. In the initial stages of a relationship (not relevant to Juan I know) it also gives you a good excuse to get her at your place. Two hours later, she's feeling mellow, has had a few galsses of wine and a great conversation, and it's not time to go home yet.

Note: at that stage of my life, it helped that I lived in a bedsit, so the dining room was also the bedroom.

[pimpdave]

Otherwise: learn to cook. If you're a "6" in every other way and a seriously good cook, that makes you a "9".

Yeah...that's true...

If his girlfriend is a DUDE!!

Actually, girls are quite impressed with guys who can cook. Very few can.

Ditocoaf speaks the complete and total truth.

For bonus points, cook with her (girls love shared activities so long as alcohol is involved) while getting sloshed on some red wine. We should start a wine recommendation thread, for good cheap bottles.

Just have her complete simple tasks, while you act as the "chef". Every time I've done that as a date, it's gone over really well.

[jonesthecurl]

Probably good advice, but I hate women in my kitchen.

[Gregrios]

If cooking is the right fix then I'll be quite surprized.

Me too, but something tells me that rolly eyes are not the fix.

Yeah, probably not. Although I'd rather put my money on giving out extra attitude before I did on cooking.

[TheProwler]

Juan, the ass fuck thing was a joke. As was everything else I said....except the "Don't look pathetic" part.

In all seriousness, do you guys really put this much thought into impressing a woman?

Look, if you take a look at yourself and feel you need to improve in certain areas, then that is great self-realization and you should do what you can to make yourself a better person. But if your motivation is only to impress a woman, you are not being true to yourself. And it will not last. Or, if it does last, you will not be truly happy.

Take the "become a good cook" idea. It might work. (That was one of the great things about getting serious with a girlfriend - I'd get a chance to enjoy her cooking and probably her mother's.) But I really don't enjoy cooking too much. My wife cooks probably more than 95% of the meals that we eat together. So what if 15 years or so ago, when we were first ass-fucking, I mean dating, I decided to impress her with my cooking. And she really liked that about me - my great skill in the kitchen. So, at some point, I'm going to have to tell her "You know, I really don't like cooking. I just wanted to f*ck you up the ass." and that would disappoint her. Or, I could go on forever slaving away in the kitchen to prolong the facade that has become my life. Either way, someone is going to be unhappy.

Be yourself. If you girlfriend becomes tired of you, then that is sad and all that, but you will have to move on. In the long run, you'll look back and realize it was a good thing.

But you mentioned that she seems to be "bored with her whole life". Maybe she's depressed. Maybe she is feeling stressed because this is such a pivotal time of her life. But if this is the case, it is about her, not you. So this is where you have to be a friend, not an insecure boyfriend, and be there for her to talk to (if she wants) and just be an uplifting, fun person. Not a fake imposter of who you think she would like to be with...be who you really are. And do fun stuff together. If you've been together five years, you must know how to have a good time together (if not....well...).

Bottom line, in my opinion, is just be yourself.

Here's a very important piece of advice, actually: If you love her, really love her, make sure you take the time to hold her, feel your love for her, look deep into her eyes, and tell her how you feel. I mean this with all sincerity. It is important to acknowledge the connection you share. And don't let too many weeks go by between these times.

[Dancing Mustard]

Well if you want to impress her then you ought to copy from the greats. For example, I once heard that Mick Jagger used to put a tube filled with bees over his penis for hours at a time. Apparently the stings from the enraged bees would swell his wang to gigantic proportions, allowing him to draw gasps of amazement when he unleashed it upon unsuspecting groupies.

Perhaps you could try that? I mean, it's worth a shot right? And if it works, then goddam is she going to be impressed.

Also, you will have leftover bees with which you can make honey. Profit.

[nagerous]

Go travelling via hitch-hike and camp out in the wilderness with her. Would be cheap + romantic, though plan some kind of location that you aim for... so you dont end up lost as that would suck.

Have you ever actually done this? I dunno if there are any deep enough locations out here that I would have access to... plus, it's getting cold out.

Blah, just a suggestion. I don't know well enough your location... What you really want is something exciting and cheap. Then again if you've been together so long, you should know her well enough as to what she wants. Maybe, if she is getting tired of the relationship it is just inevitable.. young love doesn't last forever... you'll find other girls.

[animorpherv1]

Learn to swim, then join the Coast Guard

[Backglass]

Oh, I should point out! This is a 5 year relationship.
I have no money, and my charms have gotten me this far.... but it's starting to wear...

"All you need is love" - John Lennon
"Money can't buy you love" - Elton John
"Bitches...they only want money" - Jason...a guy I work with.

Take your pick.

[Juan_Bottom]

She just broke up with me on the phone, so thanks for the help.

[mpjh]

Give it some time and read Pablo Naruda's "Captain's Verses" and learn to recite some in spanish to her

call her back and leave it on the message

Just the sheer work necessary will impress her and the poetry is spectacular

[pimpdave]

One last thing, and this is the hardest part of the entire ordeal. You can't make anyone love you.

I know, it's so goddamn painful and futile and sad. Just remember that you are worth "it", and if she doesn't see that, that says something about her, NOT YOU.

Sure, there might be things about you that could be changed, etc. But she's complicit.

Don't give up.

[Snorri1234]

I totally second the anal sex thing. Works every time.

[Curmudgeonx]

I totally second the anal sex thing. Works every time.

On you Snorri? or for you?

[Snorri1234]

I totally second the anal sex thing. Works every time.

On you Snorri? or for you?

Both.


*wink*

[Curmudgeonx]

I totally second the anal sex thing. Works every time.

On you Snorri? or for you?

Both.


*wink*

Hmm, to be in Europe tonight, with 4 doses of X, a bottle of Lucid Absinthe, and some poppers for your comfort . . .