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How do christians masturbate?

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Postby AlgyTaylor on Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:05 am

Nephilim wrote:and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....

:roll: You can get a sort of L shape easy enough, then you put your finger underneath your nob and hey presto. It works for girls too, since you've got the long end of the crucifix there. Use your imagination after that. Finally, I guess if you had a really big crucifix you could stick your penis in between the wood (heh) and Jesus' arm, that'd probably be quite satisfactory ... but you'd need a huge crucifix to do that with.

I think they REALLY need to hold creative masturbation classes in schools these days.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell. At least they've got all the good music down there ...
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Postby griffin_slayer on Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:49 am

we don't.
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Postby vtmarik on Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:58 am

Kayla wrote:Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.


They still do it, regardless of what it says in the book.

If they're high and mighty enough, they can get away with it.
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Postby mr. incrediball on Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:13 am

Kayla wrote:Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.


you read the bible waaaaaaay too much...
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Re: How do christians masturbate?

Postby hecter on Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:45 pm

mod edit
I think I may cry... I'm just so touched. :cry:
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Re: How do christians masturbate?

Postby hecter on Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:51 pm

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Oh, my little 'turd... Come here! *makes kissey faces*
Last edited by clapper011 on Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: multi post.
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Re: How do christians masturbate?

Postby DaGip on Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:16 am

I believe Christians masturbate much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAc ... re=related
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Re: How do christians masturbate?

Postby diddle on Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:40 am

DaGip wrote:I believe Christians masturbate much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAc ... re=related



I love the music in the background :lol:
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Re:

Postby DAZMCFC on Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:14 am

AlgyTaylor wrote:
Nephilim wrote:and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....

:roll: You can get a sort of L shape easy enough, then you put your finger underneath your nob and hey presto. It works for girls too, since you've got the long end of the crucifix there. Use your imagination after that. Finally, I guess if you had a really big crucifix you could stick your penis in between the wood (heh) and Jesus' arm, that'd probably be quite satisfactory ... but you'd need a huge crucifix to do that with.

I think they REALLY need to hold creative masturbation classes in schools these days.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell. At least they've got all the good music down there ...



i do like Algy's interpretation. :D


who thinks norse asked the most interesting questions?
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Re: How do christians masturbate?

Postby Backglass on Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:42 pm

How do christians masturbate?


Quietly...and with great shame. :P
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