CC Wedding Ceremony #12 - PLAYER57832 and Woodruff

[ManBungalow]

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God and this company, to witness and celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the union of PLAYER57832 and Woodruff!

I'm Reverend Man "The Hulk" Hogan, and I'll be presiding over this ceremony; but let's get this over with quickly, because I've got to get to my tennis game in just under an hour!

But first, we have to establish where you will all be sitting! Please direct your attention to the following seating plan:

• In the red seats (marked with the number one), will be seated the CC Admins and members of the CC Mod Squad.
• In the green seats (marked with the number one-hundred-and-eleven), will be the CC Cheerleading Team.
• This leaves us with the purple seats (marked with the number eleven). That's where the Rest Of You People will be sat.

What you have to do:

• Firstly, you have to let us know which side of the church you'll be sitting in. I'll be keeping a list of who is sitting on which side as we go along.
  
  • Family and friends of PLAYER57832 will be on the left of the seating plan.
  • Family and friends of Woodruff will be on the right of the seating plan.
• Secondly, you must write a short note of well-wishing or otherwise for the happy couple. We will be reading all of these notes out during the official procedure, and I know that this will mean a lot to PLAYER57832 and Woodruff!

Thanks all, see you at the wedding!

CURRENT SEATING PLAN:

RIGHT SIDE (Woodruff)

• bedub1
• squishyg
• whitestazn88
• Lootifer

LEFT SIDE (PLAYER57832)

• Baron Von PWN
• jonesthecurl
• Neoteny

BANNED FROM THE CEREMONY

• nietzsche

WOODY'S BEST MAN

• Army of GOD

[bedub1]

I'll be seating on the right side, which also happens to be the right side.

"Woodruff, I wish you a speedy recovery after your self inflicted gunshot wound."

[squishyg]

I will also be sitting on Woody's side.

Dear Woody and PLAYER, Mawwiage and internet arguments are what bring us together today. May you live long and never turn off your laptops angry. That reminds me of a really interesting statistic I have somewhere. Now get off my damn lawn.

[Baron Von PWN]

I will sit on players side.

To the happy couple: Your loving antics on these fora always brighten our days, may you have a long and happy marriage.

[whitestazn88]

I will sit on woodruff's side.

And I have two notes:

-Please, don't have kids

-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Lootifer]

Woodys side; if players family are anything like player i dun wanna be stuck next to great uncle gerald; you KNOW that dudes gunna have some boring ass stories.

Oh and well wish note: IMA GUNNA MAKE LIKE ITS 1999 AND GET HAMMERED AND SLEAZE ONTO EVERYTHING WITH A VAJAYJAY!!!!!

[nietzsche]

Where's the party at? I'll be busy at the ceremony's hour but I'll be free later.

[jonesthecurl]

I will be happy to sit on PLAYER's side. Here is my message: My present will be earplugs for PLAYER, plus a special pair of reading-comprehension glasses so that she can counter Woody's most frequent complaint.
Also, a pen with not much ink in it so you have to keep the messages shorter, PLAYER.
Also, a new ringtone for Woody's phone, which goes WOOODRUFFFFF!!!

[spurgistan]

I will be attending, but only to get way too drunk and declare my love for PLAYER and we really had a moment back in 1998 while windsurfing together, when you ask that thing about if anybody has reasons why these should not be wed. So, you might wanna just skip over that part. I wish you both all the motherfucking best in the whole, big, fucking *hic* world.

[Neoteny]

Player's side, but I plan to leave when they start reading their vows. I'll hit the can, hit the flask, make a burger run, bed a bridesmaid (she's a terrible friend), have a nap, refill my flask, and I should be back for the kiss.

Congrats, kids!

[Army of GOD]

I'm Woody's best man. I'll be spending the entire wedding ceremony AND after party trying to bang the Maid of Honor.

My message: "f*ck you PLAYER. You turned Woodruff from a party-loving playboy to a looking-through-a-furniture-catalog loser. I hope you burn at the stake, being mistaken for a witch."

[ManBungalow]

I just received an email from Woodruff's cousin, Arnold, regarding the upcoming ceremony, and he asked me to share it with everybody here.

Dear Rvd. Hogan,

I do believe that Woody's choice in PLAYER57832 is very logical, and I am almost sure that they will have a productive future together.

However, I saw Harry earlier, and he raised an excellent point about the seating plan. We agreed that the official seating plan should be checked by trained personnel to ensure that gender discrimination is not an issue during the wedding.

Live long and prosper,
Arnold.

[Phatscotty]

Can I be the guy who skips the wedding but brings a bunch of people to the reception and yells upon arrival "Where's the F'n Keg?!"

[bedub1]

Can I be the guy who skips the wedding but brings a bunch of people to the reception and yells upon arrival "Where's the F'n Keg?!"

It was finished by the groom prior to the wedding.

[Lootifer]

Yeh you dun wanna be late PS, the drinking will be starting EARLY on this one...

[Woodruff]

I'm Woody's best man. I'll be spending the entire wedding ceremony AND after party trying to bang the Maid of Honor.

My message: "f*ck you PLAYER. You turned Woodruff from a party-loving playboy to a looking-through-a-furniture-catalog loser. I hope you burn at the stake, being mistaken for a witch."

I've always been a looking-through-a-furniture-catalog WINNER, I'll have you know. The Woodruff you thought you knew was a lie!

[rdsrds2120]

I'll be sitting on Woodruff's side, because Lootifer and Aunt Squish are over there.

Secondly,

I just received an email from Woodruff's cousin, Arnold, regarding the upcoming ceremony, and he asked me to share it with everybody here.

Dear Rvd. Hogan,

I do believe that Woody's choice in PLAYER57832 is very logical, and I am almost sure that they will have a productive future together.

However, I saw Harry earlier, and he raised an excellent point about the seating plan. We agreed that the official seating plan should be checked by trained personnel to ensure that gender discrimination is not an issue during the wedding.

Live long and prosper,
Arnold.

I am a trained gender professional. I volunteer in this time of need.

Now, time for my message:

"Woodruff, you're such a PLAYER"

See what I did there? The humor makes up for it's shortness.

-rd

[daddy1gringo]

Y'all are aware that they're each married to someone else already, right?

[rdsrds2120]

Y'all are aware that they're each married to someone else already, right?

Don't crush ManB's my their dream of being together!!

-rd

[thegreekdog]

Since I'm a groosman, I suppose I would have to sit on Woodruff's side (even though I'm technically a friend of Player's). Isn't that always weird?

Player and Woodruff,

Seeing your love grow over the years has been special, not just for me but for everyone. The way you read and respond to each others' posts is a joy to watch. Live long and prosper!

Love, TGD

[BigBallinStalin]

I call organ.

[2dimes]

I'm probably missing this one too. I never even heard about the first eleven. Didn't see an invite for this one.

[Woodruff]

Y'all are aware that they're each married to someone else already, right?

A fact we are both counting on heavily, I'm sure. <smile>

[Woodruff]

I call organ.

What you do with your organ is your own business.

[2dimes]

I call organ.

What you do with your organ is your own business.

Set list.

• inagodadavida
• here comes the bride
• wedding march
• back in black