Buying a child-sized doll so that I can go to the movies

by **Juan_Bottom** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:05 am

I want to go see Disney's Wreck it Ralph, but I don't have anyone to go with. I don't want to go alone to see a children's movie. At least, I don't want to be in there alone with all those parents wondering what a lone guy in his 20's is doing in there.

So my plan is to acquire a child-sized doll and sit off to one side. If I arrive and leave before everyone else, it will just look like a single parent taking his son or daughter to see the latest cartoon movie. Right? I mean, so long as I offer it popcorn and stuff every once in a while. Even If I do get noticed by the staff or something, I think that it's better to be looked at with pity and confusion than accusations, right? America is very judgmental.

So here's where you come in. Ebay isn't providing me with any cheap child mannequins or anything. So I need to know of an online retailer that sells inexpensive and concealable dolls.

by **nietzsche** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:10 am

Invite Cody?

by **2dimes** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:12 am

I'll translate another Nietzsche post here.

nietzsche wrote:Invite Cody's kids?

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:12 am

Aren't you really just fooling yourself though? You are a weirdo for wanting to go see Wreck it Ralph by yourself. Just use this as an opportunity to "come out" as it were and accept your destiny.

by **saxitoxin** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:12 am

In terms of this doll, when you say "take it to the movies" do you mean "stick it in?"

Also - when you say "child-sized doll" do you mean "attractive Thai boy?"

by **jonesthecurl** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:24 am

Just buy a child.
You can always sell it on once the purpose is served.

by **Army of GOD** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:26 am

jonesthecurl wrote:Just buy a child.
You can always sell it on once the purpose is served.

Or you could fix 'em up and make a profit

by **MeDeFe** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:05 am

nietzsche wrote:Invite Cody?

Best suggestion yet. If people start looking at you, Cody can just point at his penis and all attention will be diverted to him.

by **jimboston** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:03 am

Wait till it's out on DVD.

by **thegreekdog** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:20 am

MeDeFe wrote:
nietzsche wrote:Invite Cody?

Best suggestion yet. If people start looking at you, Cody can just point at his penis and all attention will be diverted to him.

Yes, but he would need to surreptitiously point to his penis, which may be difficult in a movie theater.

by **lord voldemort** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:25 am

I think this may be worse....

by **Ace Rimmer** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:48 am

I suggest inviting AoG.

by **Baron Von PWN** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:33 am

just go to your local primary school and ask a child to come with you. If necessary bribe them with candy.

by **bedub1** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:44 am

By doll you mean blow-up-doll?

by **AndyDufresne** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:50 pm

jimboston wrote:Wait till it's out on DVD.

Yeah, or get a digital download of the film from itunes/amazon or wait til it is on Netflix.

--Andy

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:12 pm

AndyDufresne wrote:
jimboston wrote:Wait till it's out on DVD.

Yeah, or get a digital download of the film from itunes/amazon or wait til it is on Netflix.

--Andy

Yes, nowadays that only means a few days. You can wait that long can't you? Invite cody over for a sleepover in the meantime as a distraction. Heck invite the blow up doll too and you've got yourself a real party.

by **nietzsche** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:36 pm

Ace Rimmer wrote:I suggest inviting AoG.

by **Juan_Bottom** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:24 pm

I cannot wait, it has Edie McClurg in it.

Doesn't anyone know where I can get a waxy-skinned mannequin child? Or what about like, one of those reversible duffel bags. You know, they look like a normal bag until you invert them. Then they look like people or animals and stuff. Who knows what I'm talking about?

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:28 pm

Juan_Bottom wrote:I cannot wait, it has Edie McClurg in it.

Doesn't anyone know where I can get a waxy-skinned mannequin child? Or what about like, one of those reversible duffel bags. You know, they look like a normal bag until you invert them. Then they look like people or animals and stuff. Who knows what I'm talking about?

No I don't know what you are talking about.

I second the notion about AoG though, just put one of those helicopter beanie caps on him, a little rouge on his cheeks and some shortpants and suspenders. Oh yeah, don't forget the KY.

by **Juan_Bottom** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:29 pm

That's how he dresses normally.
Why would we go to Kentucky?

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:30 pm

I'm pretty sure the age laws are more lax there so you will get less attention.

by **Juan_Bottom** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:35 pm

Oh, well hypothetically speaking, nobody would need to worry about that because this will probably be rated G.

ALL I WANT IS TO SEE THIS MOVIE WHY YOU NO UNDERSTANDS?

by **rdsrds2120** on Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:51 pm

Juan_Bottom wrote:Oh, well hypothetically speaking, nobody would need to worry about that because this will probably be rated G.

ALL I WANT IS TO SEE THIS MOVIE WHY YOU NO UNDERSTANDS?

BE A MAN AND INVITE CODY. You have to take the first step. Search your feelings, Juan. You know it to be true.

BMO