What are you indicating that theists can't be smart?
On a more serious note, no, it's not too personal to share, though there always follows a certain degree of ridicule when Christians on this forum share their faith experiences in public. Hasn't really stopped us, but it's just the fact.
And it's a long story, so if you're not interested, I'd recommend you skip this post. This is mostly for Riao, since he's the only one who seems to be interested.
In any event, I'll go into my personal experience with the Christian God then...
In my earlier years I went to Sunday school and church because I was forced to- you can't expect a 6 year old to be excited over something he can't even see. Like I said, I was brought up Catholic, but it was by two parents who hadn't had a great Catholic upbringing themselves. Knowing they couldn't teach me about the faith on their own, but hoping that I'd get a better religious education than they got, they tried to get me excited about sunday school.
I was a little "above" the garbage they had us do in Sunday school - coloring pictures, reading chapter after chapter which basically said the same darned thing (Jesus loves you, so be nice to everyone!). Though I wasn't using the exact words at the time, I couldn't stand how dumb this superficial nonsense was. In 2nd grade I told my parents that I was bored and already knew all the prayers they were teaching us, and asked if I could drop out of Sunday school.
They agreed, so unlike my peers, I just started going to Mass with the family instead of sitting in a classroom with kids who still couldn't read trying to help them memorize the Hail Mary.
That's where my self-education started. Don't get me wrong- I certainly wasn't motivated by a love of God at that point (He remained more of an abstract concept to my childlike mind than anything else), but rather, a desire to know stuff. I was smart as an elementary schooler, and took a lot of pleasure in knowing things.
So I started reading the Bible on my own. Learning about different religions. Reading about the lives of some of the saints. My knowledge of religion skyrocketed. The real deep-down faith would start to develop later.
In the 5th grade my parents sent me to a week-long boarding-school summer camp at an Abbey. I can't emphasize enough how much that camp did for me. Not only was it loads of fun with the games and such, (imagine game of capture the flag with 200 people!) but I learned even more in-depth stuff about Catholicism than before. Most importantly, for the first time ever I got a real deep-down feel that God existed. I think it was the atmosphere of the place.
I returned to the abbey every summer until I was 15. My belief got stronger every time. Why? A few reasons, I think. Firstly, I always felt at peace there. Perhaps more importantly was the Sacrament of Reconciliation- or "Confession", as it is popularly known. As I got into my teen years, I found that my sins had started escalating and happening more frequently. Yet there was nothing like the feeling after Confession. Here's where I fear I may be ridiculed, but every time I go to Confession, especially at the abbey, I wouldn't mind dying right afterwards.
Of course, this was all just feelings. When I was in a cynical mood, I could pass off the great feelings and peace I got from the abbey off as just a result of the environment. There was still doubt in my mind.
That changed the summer before my sophomore year in High School. I went to a weekend retreat sponsored by the Franciscan University of Steubenville with my youth group.
The weekend itself is lot of fun, but Saturday night is when the most amazing part comes. Adoration.
As a brief summary of what Adoration is, it's basically when a priest takes the Eucharist (the bread which Catholics believe is the true body of Christ), places it in a gold case called the monstrance, and gives a blessing called "Benediction."
I'll try to set the scene at Stebenville for you.
We were all inside the Cox Arena, which is an enormous sports arena on San Diego State University. In the middle was a stage, on which the Catholic musician Matt Maher and his band was playing quiet worship music as the 5,000 teenagers sat in their seats in anticipation. Everyone had heard about Adoration- we all knew that amazing things were about to happen, because amazing things have happened every year during this time on Saturday. And we had spent the day in preparation, opening our souls by singing even when we thought it might be embarrassing.
A priest, flanked by several others, walked into the arena, carrying a gorgeous golden monstrance, inside of which was the Eucharist. 5,000 people stood from their seats at the same time, and sang a glorious song of praise, the lyrics projected onto mammoth screens before us. He placed it on the altar, and 5,000 people knelt. A girl several sections away started crying.
After several moments, the priest stood up, took the monstrance, and began processing through the entire arena, section by section, giving a blessing to the tune of our quiet hymns. People all around me were crying, laughing, doing all manner of strange things. Perhaps the most crazy thing I witnessed someone else doing was a friend speaking in tongues.
As the monstrance approached, I broke down. I hadn't cried in years, but here I was, sobbing like a girl. I wasn't quite sure why- I wasn't quite happy and I wasn't quite sad. It was an odd feeling. I was thinking of how wonderful it was that I felt this, that I had this weekend, yet how horrible it was that so many people wouldn't. A bit of a paradox, but a feeling I've never had before.
The entire procession took about an hour. By the end the girl on my left and the guy on my right were both supporting me, and both were shedding tears themselves.
I'm not generally the sentimental type. This was such a change in behavior for me that in retrospect it's hard to realize that it was me there. But something happened, there was something there, and every single one of the 5,000 present will attest to it. We walked out of that arena in silence, and it was clear by the time we got back to our dorms that my experience wasn't exclusive only to me- it was mutual among all my friends.
God showed Himself to me that night, and I haven't doubted since. I've tried, though. At times when I fell into deep sin since then, I've tried to doubt God, so ashamed was I of what I had done. I tried to reason out that God doesn't exist, but it's never worked. Ever since that retreat, I haven't been able to doubt- not sure how to explain it other than that it's just a fact in my mind.
Anyways, that's my story. I know a lot of it sounds dramatized, but I give my word that I did my best to explain these experiences I've had honestly.
And remember, you asked.
