Conquer Club

Wanna help me with writing a story? [story so far on page 1]

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Postby bedub1 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:53 am

hahah..is groins not a word? hahaha

sigh...i think my story is falling apart...although I do like a couple lines I'm about to post... :)
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Postby bedub1 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:56 am

I was a simple young man. Like most young men of my age, my thoughts drew of nothing but sex and cars. Cars I had, sex I was planning for. Our prom was to be one of the ages, stories to tell the children of. Little did I know how accurate my expectations were to be. I would be telling this story one day, sooner than I thought.


Women had always been a side note for me. My focus was on running. Only recently had I worn my shoes bald, requiring a trip to the mall with my mother. Sigh…my mother. No young mans worse nightmare than shopping with his mother. I’d rather wrap her in a fish net, weigh her down with cinder blocks, and sink her to the bottom of my favorite fishing lake for the crabs to feast on than go shopping in public with her. But hey, she has money, and I need shoes. The trip to the mall was uneventful, except for the fact I managed to swindle a little bit more money of out her. She agreed to splurge on a bottle of perfume. It was amazing to see the sparkle in her eye as I requested of her to go with me to find the right kind. I could almost see her eyes glaze over, a sheen come upon her as she seemed to travel back in time to a younger point in her life. How I shivered at the thought, realizing she had experienced what I was about to experience.
Last edited by bedub1 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby luns101 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:57 am

bedub1 wrote:hahah..is groins not a word? hahaha


I don't know, but it just sounded funny. One time I was debating Bertros Bertros about whether or not condoms prevent AIDS and I said that condoms are not "fullproof" instead of "foolproof". Of course, CrazyAnglican caught the error immediately. It was so hilarious considering the context of our discussion.
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Postby Skittles! on Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:59 am

I think groins is a word as Firefox doesn't have a red line underneath it.
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Postby AndrewLC on Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:12 am

Well, I'm going to leave for a wee bit, maybe 1-2 hours, hopefully I'll come back to more story goodness *wink wink nudge nudge*
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Postby bedub1 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:26 am

The shopping experience over, my gift purchased, I was prepared for the evening to come. I picked her up at her house, smiled at her father and waved him a friendly ā€œI won’t hurt herā€ and drove off into the evening. She placed her hand on my thigh as we approached the school. I was so excited I barely managed to squeeze my car into the parking spot. Running up the steps into the school house, my phone rang. I stopped for a moment, she kept on running, stopping a few steps later. Hello, I said. The voice on the other end said, meet me upstairs in 10 minutes if you ever wanna get laid, and then hung up. I looked at the phone in amazement, curious as to who the caller was. Thinking nothing of it, I scooped up my girl and carried her into the building.

We entered in, taking in the lights, the music, the friends. I could see the glisten of the lights off her face, causing her to glow like a angel. We made our way onto the dance floor, and the night began. The first dance was magnificent, dancing in the light to the beauty of the music. Unfortunately I couldn’t keep my mind on her, as I kept thinking about the phone call. I didn’t want to leave her alone, but needed to know who had called. Making an excuse about needing the restroom, I darted off to the side, looked back to see her looking the other way, and shot up the stairs. Creeping into the room at the top, I found my teacher, with an empty bottle of jack, swaying in the music. She came to me, grabbed my loins, and threw me down on the sofa. I didn’t resist, the aggressiveness with which she came at me was amazing, I couldn’t help myself. As she straddled me and rode away, a hand waving in the night to the rhythm of the music, my mind wavered to the image of a cowboy riding a horse, hat swaying in the air. The experience was amazing, and over before I could truly begin to imagine it.

Slowly I opened my eyes back up, clearing the thoughts from my head. I had committed the gravest of sins, being close with both my teacher and my future wife in the same night. It wasn’t that I had been with the teacher, but that when I thought back to the magical night, I didn’t think of my wife, but of my teacher. I set the bible down on the floor of the boat, and leaned up. I had no right. I had no choice. I could not continue to exist in this world with the person that I had become. Although my wife had passed many years before, I felt it was my dishonesty that had killed her. Slowly I reeled in the line, looking at the hook, and noticing, and that once again, it was empty. Sigh. I never caught anything in this lake. Not since that night. Not since I had done ā€œthe deedā€. My life with my wife had been great, but had always been clouded in a haze of secrecy. I honestly believed she knew, but she never said.

I set the fishing pole in the holder. Examined the cinder blocks before me. Tying the rope around my legs, I envisioned my wife, holding my hand, cutting the cake. I saw my teacher, across the dance floor, licking her lips. Pulling the knot tight, I took the hook, placed it in my mouth, and tossed the bricks overboard. I had been caught.
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Postby bedub1 on Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:30 am

Ummmm....are there any psychiatrists out there? I think I need help :)

Luns....you wanted the fishing line to be a big part of it....so there ya go....

Ya know....i REALLY enjoyed writing this story...it was alot of fun....please challenge me again for another story!
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Postby AndrewLC on Sun Nov 11, 2007 3:35 am

bedub1 wrote:Ummmm....are there any psychiatrists out there? I think I need help :)

Luns....you wanted the fishing line to be a big part of it....so there ya go....

Ya know....i REALLY enjoyed writing this story...it was alot of fun....please challenge me again for another story!

I challange you to add a bit onto (whats mostly) Luns story
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Postby AndrewLC on Sun Nov 11, 2007 7:33 pm

I'm back!
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Postby The Weird One on Sun Nov 11, 2007 8:12 pm

addition to the story (the paper that was turned in)

I watched as my accopmplice finished garroting the two teens with the fishing line and slunk off. Once the teacher discarded the phone and pulled out his own to dial 911, I Quickly turned back to my own cell phone and dialed the same number. I reported a murder and gave the innocent's license plate number, informing the operator that he was making a similar call to remove suspicion from him. Telling the calm voice on the phone that I feared that the killer would see me and come at me and, therefore had to leave; I hung up and slunk away, using the bushes as cover. Throwing my cell phone into the river to prevent them tracing my through it, I met up with my partner and headed off.
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Postby AndrewLC on Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:25 pm

The Weird One wrote:addition to the story (the paper that was turned in)

I watched as my accopmplice finished garroting the two teens with the fishing line and slunk off. Once the teacher discarded the phone and pulled out his own to dial 911, I Quickly turned back to my own cell phone and dialed the same number. I reported a murder and gave the innocent's license plate number, informing the operator that he was making a similar call to remove suspicion from him. Telling the calm voice on the phone that I feared that the killer would see me and come at me and, therefore had to leave; I hung up and slunk away, using the bushes as cover. Throwing my cell phone into the river to prevent them tracing my through it, I met up with my partner and headed off.

added!
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Postby The Weird One on Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:43 pm

who's up next :P
sheepofdumb wrote:I'm not scum, just a threat to the town. There's a difference, thank you very much.

ga7 wrote: I'll keep my vote where it should be but just in case Vote Strike Wolf AND f*ck FLAMINGOS f*ck THEM HARD
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Postby The Weird One on Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:22 am

bump
sheepofdumb wrote:I'm not scum, just a threat to the town. There's a difference, thank you very much.

ga7 wrote: I'll keep my vote where it should be but just in case Vote Strike Wolf AND f*ck FLAMINGOS f*ck THEM HARD
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Postby The Weird One on Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:03 pm

looks like it's gonna be a really short story :lol:
sheepofdumb wrote:I'm not scum, just a threat to the town. There's a difference, thank you very much.

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Postby AndrewLC on Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:41 pm

Haha, not really, It's like 5 pages long on word.
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Postby 0ojakeo0 on Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:49 pm

0ojakeo0 wrote:One day a 17 year old boy , a 17 year old girl, a teacher, and the girls mother go into the house. The next day the girl the mother and the son :shock: are pregnant :shock:
u forgot this
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Postby The Weird One on Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:01 pm

AndrewLC wrote:Haha, not really, It's like 5 pages long on word.
:shock: :shock: :shock:

still say it needs a better ending. :?

but, either way, let us know what the teacher says. (and, on a different note, what grade are you in?)
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Postby AndrewLC on Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:21 pm

The Weird One wrote:
AndrewLC wrote:Haha, not really, It's like 5 pages long on word.
:shock: :shock: :shock:

still say it needs a better ending. :?

but, either way, let us know what the teacher says. (and, on a different note, what grade are you in?)

12th
I do need a better ending, but I can't think of what to write :?
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Postby The Weird One on Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:45 pm

I'm not good with endings. later on I might think of something, but I doubt it.
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Postby AndrewLC on Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:05 pm

Haha, where's Luns!
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Postby The Weird One on Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:41 pm

nah, you just need to do a little bit of finishing and tell the teacher that it's the first installment in a series :wink:
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Postby bedub1 on Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:45 am

Why don't you use my intro paragraph and my last paragraph and toss the other story in the middle.....mines all a flashback so he could theoretically be flashing back to anything.....
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Postby AndrewLC on Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:59 am

bedub1 wrote:Why don't you use my intro paragraph and my last paragraph and toss the other story in the middle.....mines all a flashback so he could theoretically be flashing back to anything.....

Yeah, maybe. I'm probably just going to do that, because I don't think writing about a school shooting would be good :lol:
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Postby The Weird One on Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:13 am

AndrewLC wrote:
bedub1 wrote:Why don't you use my intro paragraph and my last paragraph and toss the other story in the middle.....mines all a flashback so he could theoretically be flashing back to anything.....

Yeah, maybe. I'm probably just going to do that, because I don't think writing about a school shooting would be good :lol:


:lol:
sheepofdumb wrote:I'm not scum, just a threat to the town. There's a difference, thank you very much.

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Postby The Weird One on Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:58 am

when will you be getting this back?
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